People talking, cart wheels creaking, feet shuffling, car horns honking, motos weaving, tuk tuks slowly inching forward. My feet pressed hard against plastic petals, my forehead glistened, my back swam in pools of sweat, my slick hands tightly gripped the slippery steering wheel of my fragile and ancient bike. Everything was swirling into a chaotic symphony that overwhelmed my ears. These are the busy streets of Battambang, Cambodia.
Alright, so number one the whole squad, luggage and all arrived safely in Cambodia. After fourty plus hours of travel(Atlanta, Georgia to San Francisco, California to China, to Siem Reap, Cambodia). Then a three hour bus ride to Battambang. All is well, thank you all for the travel prayers.
Second, for my outreaches I will be working in a hospital and working in our hosts café. Other teams are doing manual labor(guys team), and still others will be working in different schools teaching and playing with kiddos or feeding all 50 of us. Also, for ministry we bike to and from both outreaches which equal between 45 minutes and and hour each day. Yay, exercise!
Over the last few days spending time with my squad and team, I’ve felt pretty lonely. To be completely honest it’s been a mixture good and hard. Good in a sense that I have had to completely rely on God, 100%, for my emotional, mental, and physical needs. Which has been AWESOME! Not that I’ve felt sick or anything but I haven’t gotten hugs, or let myself open up completely or sat to paint or draw to process what’s been happening. I’ve had God, His word, and myself. I have had some of the best quiet times because of it though, and for that I am grateful. Prayers would be appreciated for those on the squad who are already sick and health for those trying to avoid it.
One of the best quiet times I’ve had thus far was near the start of our time in Cambodia. I went up to the roof top of the compound, by myself, with nobody around. I sat and talked with the Lord, had some solid one on one time with some background worship music, then He asked me to dance for Him. Those of you who know me know I love to dance anytime I can. I have always wanted to do this, in church during worship, but have been scared to do so. Even now, with nobody around, nobody watching, just Jesus and I, I was scared and insecure. I kept asking myself, “What if someone sees me? What if they laugh? What if I look silly?” Then I realized, Jesus hung naked on a cross, for me, Jesus got laughed at and was mocked, for me. Why can’t I maybe look a little silly worshiping my Heavenly Father? This goes so many ways though, I can look silly talking to strangers about and for Him, I can look silly playing and loving little kids for Him. So, I danced. This was very different from my normal dancing. There were no specific steps, there was no choreography, it was just me, and my Jesus, my good good father. I can honestly say it was one of the most freeing experiences in my walk with the Lord.
Progressing to Tuesday, which would have been Monday everyone else’s time, it’s gotten better with me not feeling as lonely. I have to say my team is AMAZING. The girls who I have the privilege of serving aside are seriously the best. I cannot wait to spend the next nine months with them. Still, I’ve not been feeling very apart of the whole squad, which is not what I am used to. Though, I have peace because I know God is growing me in more ways then one. I don’t need to know each and every person on a certain level and I don’t need anyone with a similar personality to be close to. It’s ok to be different and to sit in the back ground and just love and serve people.
Skipping over to Thursday, it was a rewarding day. We had our ministry at the hospital, where we played with a little boy whos grandma was being cared for and he had nothing to do. Then after lunch at home we biked back out to the cafe and continued planning out our kids read aloud night and english communications event. We had some really good feedback that night as well.
Friday morning rolled around and during our card making time I was really struggling with seeing how this 1. Was a ministry and 2. How it was going to further the kingdom. Then I was clearly reminded that if we let God use us in the little things, He will use us in the big things.
Only being here a week has opened my eyes to so many new things. New cultures, new religions, new people, new weather/humidity, new relationships, new everything.
It has been a journey thus far and an adventure. I encourage you today, if your feeling alone, tired, worried, etc. Take it to the Lord.
1 Peter 5:17
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Psalm 49:19
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Luke 16:10
Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.
Isaiah 43:1-5
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush and Seba in your stead.
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give people in exchange for you,
nations in exchange for your life.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you;
I will bring your children from the east
and gather you from the west.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Thank you all so much for carrying me through this journey. I wouldn’t be here without you and am so blessed to have such amazing people back home that I know are praying for me and supporting me. I appreciate all the encouraging notes I get to look at and read. All of them were very needed and encouraging this week. The biggest prayer requests for the coming weeks are:
1. Health over the whole squad. Sickness is spreading like crazy and we cannot go to ministry if we are sick for more then 24 hours.
2. I want to be able to serve with even more joy and a grateful spirit.
3. Receptive hearts for those we are serving and being Jesus to.
4. That I don’t miss home to much and can have a good balence of reflection and peace.
5. Safety during bike rides, the roads are crazy.
Pictures and videos will be coming here in the next week or so. Stay tuned! Love you all. If you have any questions, comments or concerns let me know down below.
