One Sunday I woke up with a sore lower back and had a lot of abdominal pain after breakfast. I pretty much never have back pain or any GI issues either. I almost did not go to church, because I did not feel well. My teammates, Stella and Ryan, were speaking at church though, and I did not want to miss hearing them speak since I knew team changes were coming up soon. I was the last one from my team leaving to walk for church and wasn’t physically able to catch up to my team. I was doing the best I could just to walk to get to church. (And I am a fast walker! Like I’m usually always in the front lol) My teammates thought I wanted alone time, so they did not wait or question me lagging behind.
During worship, I could not get comfortable. Sitting down and standing up was uncomfortable. I was too hot inside the church so I ended up standing outside leaning against the rock wall to cool down most of worship. During all of this, I was questioning God and asking why this was happening.
As I was about to walk back inside the church, I see this woman leaning against the wall of the church crying. I immediately knew she was my assignment. I went up to her and asked her what is wrong and if she speaks any English. She stated she did speak English, and thankfully her English was very good. I have changed her name for her protection. So I’ll call her Mary in this blog. … … I learned the reason why Mary was crying is because she was raped the week prior. … I didn’t know what to say besides, “I am soo sorry.” I hugged her a bunch and prayed for her. We could hear that worship inside the church was ending and preaching was about to start so then we both walked back into church.
After I prayed for Mary, I actually felt physically better. My back did not hurt as bad, and I was able to sit in the church seat and not be uncomfortable.
My squamates and I were hosting a women’s event the following Wednesday called Beauty for Ashes. All church service I was Determined to make sure the event was announced before church was over. There are so many women hurting and that need healing. For God to bring His light to the darkness and hurt in their lives. At the end of church, I was able to announce the Beauty for Ashes event and encouraged women to attend. I talked to Mary after church to see if she would go, and she did in fact come to the event.
The whole day leading up to Beauty for Ashes was actually pretty emotional for me. (And no it was not hormonal or being too tired lol). I had felt a good cry coming on for awhile but was just avoiding it. ..I think it’s partly because I know God has wanted to use me in bigger ways than I have allowed Him. I have seen God use me so much on this trip, even more so when I have stepped out of my comfort zone, and it has been so fun! Me preaching at the hospital and God saving 19 people and being there for Mary. I feel bad for telling God no in the past and feel bad for all the people I could have helped and didn’t. ..I feel like I have wasted some of my life being super self-focused and not seeing others. There’s no shame or condemnation. It just is what it is. All that hit home for me that day.
(There were also some other things that I was able to grief that I’m not going to discuss here now. Side note: I recommend grieving and processing your past and your emotions to not make the same mistakes in the future and just to heal and move forward.)
The Beauty for Ashes event went great. I found out more details about Mary’s life and what happened. She said I was the first person she told and that she felt so much better after me praying for her on Sunday. Also that Sunday was actually her first time at our church! All things considered I think she is doing okay. She has the mentality of a Boss and a Victor, and she may be one of the strongest people I know.
God brought that day full circle and now I am the Beauty for Ashes coordinator for my new team. That basically mean I am in charge of planning women’s retreats and discipleship of women. I am really excited about it and looking forward to seeing what God does.
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I am currently in Nelspruit, South Africa for debrief and team changes.
As I reflex back on this past month in Mokhotlong, Lesotho, I am really thankful for all God has done. January has been a growth month ministry wise and interpersonally for me. We saw 70 plus salvations. I was able to give my testimony at Harvesters church, preach to my teammates before team change, preach at the hospital, pray for people at the hospital, be there for Mary, and just be present to see God move. Since wifi was not easily accessible, I learned to talk to God about whatever was going on first before venting to my friends and family for emotional support.
My prayers are changing as this trip goes on. I want God to use me in a big way, and I want God to show up in an even Bigger Way. I want to encourage you to pray big prayers. Be bold. Trust God. Pursue God with all you have.
Much love,
Amanda
