whats up I’m at final debrief life’s crazy. Today we summed up the past 9 months of our lives on a big piece of paper with sticky notes filled with unforgettable moments. Whether they were good, bad, hard or just really funny. I didn’t realize how much each country and month have been engraved into my mind. I want to share the themes of each country I have come across whether it’s personal, spiritual, or cultural.
Thailand 2 months
Thailand was definitely the honeymoon phase of the next 9 months of my life. I had never been out of the country before and I felt as if I was just thrown into this new beginning where I had no idea what to expect. This period of time is what I call “worthy of love.” I was told that’s what my name meant and it lived up to its depth afterwards. The first time I had ever shared my whole testimony in front of my whole squad. Talk about vulnerability and being scared out of my mind. To this day it was one of the biggest moments of my life because through it I learned to be sensitive to the Lord’s spirit. I saw healing from this vulnerability that was so unnatural to me, well because I am human and it’s just straight up uncomfortable. But the Lord totally redeemed me from my past, gave me new perspectives of all the pain and hurt in my life. Showed me why I am worthy of his love. Singing it over me. The process of healing is incredibly hard but because of it I am stronger than I’ve ever been. This time was when my team and I did manual labor for our first ministry , organizing books and bible studies that would soon be sent to other countries. The time where we went to the happiest place (in my opinion) on earth. Sending Hope. A girls home to protect at risk girls for sex trafficking. The most peaceful place and most loving girls. An unforgettable place.
Malaysia 1 month
Penang Island in Malaysia, one of the most diverse places I’ve ever been exposed to. Surrounded by Malays, refugees from Burma, Indian descent, Chinese descent, and more. All of these people live right next door to each other, temples stacked in rows on the streets filled with different beliefs and God’s that they worship daily. I think of this month as a time of “enlightenment.” I’ve learned about different cultures and religions but it’s never touched me deeper until I saw it with my own eyes. Personally I was learning about worthiness during this month. Worthiness of the Lord’s love still and worthiness of the plans he has for me, etc. The Lord enlightened me about this part of my life that was dark, feeling incredibly unworthy of many things that he was saying otherwise. And He enlightened me about the people around me. About the realities of this world. I am not in a position to criticize other people’s religions nor do I look down upon those that choose to worship other God’s or that have different beliefs than me. I love those people because He loves me as well. But I felt a deep sense of sadness during that month for the people all around me. I cried many times over the face that they may not know what real freedom is, what real unconditional love is. That offering and sacrifices are no longer necessary because there’s a God up there that already loves you enough for who you are, not what you have to bring. Enlightenment looked like maturing in my Faith, standing firm in what I believe in, praying for those around me, and still continuing believing in worthiness and worthiness of His love.
Costa Rica 3 months
The hardest 3 months of my life hahaha. I couldn’t think of a better word but “stretching” is what comes to mind for this country. Personally and spiritually I struggled a ton, pretty much the whole time. Our base was incredibly nice, Costa Rica was beautiful but I wanted nothing more than to be home. I was home sick, dealing with intense spiritual warfare, and questioning the Lord about a lot of things. I wasn’t fully funded until after the deadline and I became extremely confused and frustrated during that time. I questioned the Lord’s promises for me, questioned my identity, and was forgetful about all the things He had done for me in the months before. I was so blinded by what I could only see right in front of me that I built myself an even bigger pit and crawled into it, not wanting anything to do with my surroundings. My teams ministry was at a feeding center for kids in a neighborhood about 30 minutes away from our base. I loved this ministry even though it was hard because of miscommunication in how they wanted our schedule to look there everyday. Although things seem to be falling apart all around me, the Lord was making new life within me. I got to share my testimony with a group of men at a rehabilitation center in the jungle with Max + his family, who started the ministry. (Incredible place and people) I cried because that had been my second time sharing all of it in front a group full of people but this time the Lord had done even more for me. My testimony had been written more after the first time I shared it in Thailand. These 3 months are so hard to sum up because hard and incredible things happened. But through the hard moments, I became dependent on the Lord and I came to know and hear his voice. It took those moments for me to recognize his voice and being rescued by Him over and over again with no shame.
Ecuador 3 months
Ecuador is beautiful and will make you lose your breath by walking up a hill for 3 seconds. (Altitude is crazy high and killed me the first month). For the first month my whole squad and I did manual labor at a place called Dunamis up in the mountains. This ministry is for girls after coming out of sex trafficking that need a place to rehabilitate, heal, and move on to a more stable life. For most of the time I painted the rooms in the house with some other people on my squad, including murals. Manual labor is hard to be content with because you question if you’re really making an impact. Not seeing the fruit directly and immediately of what you’re doing has taught me that I don’t need affirmation or recognition for what I’m doing if the Lord is calling me to do it-to bless the lives of these girls that have known nothing except the life that they’ve been forced into and to obey Him, all while glorifying Him. The two months after that we stayed at CasaBlanca with Fabi and Mabe- two people that will forever touch me. They’ve obeyed what the Lord has called them to do-opening up a home for teams to come and stay while pursuing ministries all around Quito. My ministry team and I were at a private Christian high school called T.W. Anderson. This ministry was amazing and the kids were so kind and loving. Sometimes difficult to handle but always sweet. These months were filled with grieving. Grieving the past almost 9 months of our lives, grieving the closing of this chapter and all of the goodbyes. By this time I had been firm in being worthy of His love, my identity, my passions, his plans for me and more. I also came to terms with the fact that I won’t always be firm in these things but they’re now more apart of me than they were before.
I truly believed a huge reason the Lord had me come on the world race was to ultimately be healed. I came with a lot of baggage on the race and am now leaving healed from it all. I’m leaving the race with hard but good moments, hilarious moments, healing, perspective, a greater understanding of why were commanded to go into all the nations and preach the Gospel, and so much more. All these words don’t even live up to the past 9 months of my life but to sum it all up, its what I would have to say about it all. I’m gonna be posting a few more blogs that are overdue so please still keep up with me if you want!
Much love, Mandy.
