It’s officialy the last week of ministry of the race.
Wow that sentence made my stomach drop. For months there’s been so much talk about finishing well. And to me, I heard this and immediately thought finishing well with these people. Staying present, appreciating the lasts, taking risks, and digging into ministry. And a part of it is about all of this. But in these last few weeks I’ve found myself choosing the people around me at the expense of my time with Jesus. Staying up late at night talking in the mindset of I only have so much time left with them and then failing to wake up to watch the sunrise with Jesus and barely having enough time to enjoy a cup of coffee with Him before I rush off to ministry.
And boy am I feeling it. Man, living out of your own strength is exhausting let me tell ya.
This weekend was our last adventure day and my team decided to spend it at Puerto Viejo(The Caribbean side of Costa Rica). I found myself placing so my pressure on this weekend, our last time alone together as a team. I went in with so many expectations of quality time, sappy moments, and so many lasts as a team.
Something I’ve had to learn time and time again on the race is that you can‘t look for in people what is only meant to be found in God. If you place all of these expectations on those around you to fulfill your needs and love you without fail, you will come up short every time. God will never let a need be fulfilled in humans that is only meant to be fulfilled in His perfect love.
Finishing well didn’t mean changing up everything I was doing and tiring myself out, it meant continuing to do what I had already been doing for months. Not sacrificing my time with Jesus for anything and living out of an overflow of His love. Finishing well means knowing that these people will leave, my location will change, my life will be unrecognizable to the life I have now but through it- clinging to my only constant. Appreciating this time that Jesus and I have together and the simplicity of our relationship.
I found myself frustrated by every little inconvenience and was struggling to find joy in others when I wasn’t living out of an overflow of my Father’s love. But in my worry and striving, His peace met me and stole back a moment that changed everything.
Busy Rushing
Worried searching
Trying to get the most out of life, and loving the world kind of day.
In the crumpled chaos of anxious night,
He meets me.
Father God reaches down with gentle hand and snatches back a moment.
Holding this inch of time in careful palm, He smoothes out the wrinkles of worried lonely.
He renames this moment ours.
And here I find myself, feet running on moonlite sand.
Hands, moments before set in tightly clenched protective fists, relax to open palms.
Surrender striving.
Receive joy.
Lungs breathe their first breath.
And I stand, a child again, all cradled in a father’s presence
His peace sings louder and sweeter than world ever could.
And we chase moonlight on soft sand beach in salty night air.
