Band of Brothers: B, Blake, Caleb, Ethan, Jordan, Joseph, Nicklas, Noah, and William. These nine men we have gotten to do life with on the race have transformed how we view men and taught us how to love them well. They have given us a new view on how we should be treated by men in our lives and a new standard for our future relationships. They have served us without hesitation, and honored us as women by the boundaries they’ve set. Each of them are men of honor and integrity and depth and each of them have impacted us in big ways.
Here are some examples of how each of the men have served us:
One time walking home from ministry, Nick told us that he often imagines situations while we are walking where he would have to fight for us. Humorously, he said he always envisioned himself winning, but that in all honesty, he didn’t know if that would be true. Either way, that man is always willing to protect us when we are in compromising situations with guys overseas. Nick shares joy with everyone around him, reaches out to people in kindness, and is peaceful.
Joe is a man who keeps his word, who shares his passions with everyone around him, and is generous with his time. At Matata one afternoon (a nearby grocery store), someone asked Caitlyn to get in a van, and Joe turned around, said “no no no” and started walking behind her. This is one small example of how Joe always is willing to step in for any one of us. He leads by example and is honest to all.
A couple days ago, Caitlyn, Tylynn, I were walking to a grocery store and passed a group of our squadmates. The guys stopped and determined that it wasn’t a great idea for the three of us to be walking alone past a park filled with people drinking, so Jordy dropped everything, turned around, and walked back to the store that he’d just left with us. He ended up waiting for 45 minutes while we got groceries for the week and then helped carry our bags back for the mile uphill walk. Jordan is gracious, he serves without hesitation, he welcomes people into his space, and he is a genuine friend to all.
Noah is someone who is always available to help with whatever we need. Throughout our time in Swazi, he always walked to the water tank and turned it on to refill when we needed it and took the trash out to burn. One time day he went to ministry with us and then helped us cook dinner for the entire squad. Noah is a man of honor who is always willing to help us in any way that we need and is also always super intentional about asking questions, getting to know us, and making us feel heard while he’s doing that.
When we were in Guatemala, men on the side of the road would catcall while we were walking all. the. time. And we remember specifically Will walking with us sometimes and yelling back “thank you!” when they would whistle. It might not seem like a huge deal, but he turned uncomfortable, demeaning moments into moments of laughter and respect. Will listens intently, speaks with kindness to everyone, and genuinely asks people how they are doing.
After month 3 when we had a weekend debrief in Antigua, Emily wanted to go to McDonald’s on the opposite side of the city at 10 pm, so she asked Caitlyn to go with her. But they couldn’t go alone, so they were standing around talking about it, wondering what they were going to do. B walked up and said “yeah let’s go to McDonald’s”, and walked all the way across the city with them. When they got there, he didn’t want anything and wouldn’t let them buy him anything. They asked him why he came if he didn’t want anything and he responded that he just wanted to serve them and get to know them better. B is a man who pursues people intently and changes atmospheres with his presence.
Blake is a guy who is always aware of what’s going on around him and how he can be of service to us and honor us really well. When he went with our team on care point days in Swaziland, he would always wait for us when we were walking to ministry, just to make sure that he was the last one, so that none of us were walking alone. He was also always willing to turn on his stern voice when we needed him to stop kids from fighting or hitting us. Blake is a prayer warrior, he is bold, and he holds the best interests of others forward.
Ethan is a man who is always willing to give 110% when no one else wants to— every single care point day, he ran around playing tag or holding a kid on his shoulders the entire time. He is someone who is really intentional about seeking people out and inviting people into the things that he loves. He didn’t make the sign up sheet, but he was super willing and just went with it when someone made a sign up sheet of time slots for people to play games with him; he’s always willing to share a workout video with someone. Ethan also was first to offer to help our team clean everything for Thanksgiving and Easter meals, so we wouldn’t have to do so much. We are so thankful for him and the way that he loves this squad so well.
One night in Thailand Caleb spoke a lot of truth over us and reminded us that we are worth more than what we are being catcalled. He also celebrates alongside us in the little and big ways of our lives; if we have a good day and tell him about it, he is a person who is genuinely excited with us. Likewise, if we work through something difficult, he encourages us along the way and shares in the celebration when we succeed. Caleb sees our worth, always wants to help us, and constantly encourages us to walk in it.
Beyond these little moments, there have been so many times when the men as a whole have served us so so well.
At training camp when literally none of us knew what to expect and most of us had never experienced healthy and honorable community with men, these nine 18-22 year old guys stood up with boldness and integrity and set standards for how they wanted to treat us. They said things like: they wouldn’t have one on ones with any of us after dark, they would avoid physical contact of any kind, they would be cautious of the conversations that they had with us, and they wouldn’t comfort any of us as women when we’re emotional. We were all blown away by the way that these men were already leading us deeper into what it looks like to have healthy and honorable relationships with each other.
One night in Africa we had an intercession team time where we wanted to stand together as sisters and fight for each other in prayer. But because some of us had learned a lot about what it looks like for Godly men to fight for us as women, we also wanted to invite our brothers to stand with us in prayer as well. We kind of thought it might be awkward at first asking for that, but they were genuinely excited to come and just be in it with us and pray with us and they did it so well. Each of these men are prayer warriors who fight for each other and for their sisters and it’s been so beautiful to see that.
And last but not least, one of our favorite memories is the time at the beginning of the race when our guys had a night where they washed our feet, cooked and served us dinner, and wrote us encouraging notes- you may have read about it already. 9 months later, to close our race, they had another night where they built a bonfire, bought and served us ice cream, and gave us notes about the ways we look like Jesus. They truly are the best.
All of this led to one night in Africa, where several of us sat around a table, talking about how the men on our squad have changed how we will act at home. We realized that if we looked in the mirror, and we wouldn’t want to hang out with the guys on our squad in what we were wearing or what we were doing, we shouldn’t be doing or wearing it. After this we started joking about asking ourselves, “would BOB approve?” (BOB being ‘Band of Brothers’, of course.) But, while this hard core started as a joke, the way that these men have honored us has been hugely impactful in our lives and how we want to honor men at home.
Thank you to each of the members of BOB for being exactly who you are and for being men who embody integrity. You have shown us what it is to be seen and known and loved and served. We love you a lot and couldn’t imagine this race with any other group of men.
All the love,
Ecclesia
