I think so often World Racers, or just missionaries in general, are put on a high pedestal. Maybe you take a look at their instagram or read amazing stories in blogs, and it’s easy to assume that they are these perfect, kind, overflowing-with-joy-and-love type people, who are living on a great adventure and constantly spreading goodness to the world. Their lives might look like a grand crusade: living in a different country, helping people, traveling and experiencing new cultures. Maybe you see the perfect picture of someone holding a snotty-nosed little African baby and silently praise them for their kind act towards humanity.
I don’t want you to overlook the truth: even missionaries get stuck in the valley. I’m not saying what missionaries do isn’t good and kind- we’re just doing the thing the Lord called us to do in the place He called us to do it. My working at an orphanage in a third-world country is just as important as your office job if you are where God has called you to be. Your mission field is wherever your feet stand. Just because everyday life in America isn’t as glorified as what I’m doing to most people, it doesn’t mean it’s less important.
I want to let you all in on a few “valley” moments from the Race in hopes that it will encourage you to give God the glory that may be tempted to give to me and call out the lie that you have to leave the country to be on the missions field. I want to show you that even on the “field” as missionaries, we are still human and life is still life.
Things seem exciting for a bit when you first arrive in a new place or country, but there comes a point not long after when the street you walk down every day becomes familiar and normal to you. The foods you try for the first time become the classic Wednesday night meal. The newness fades and you’re just left with, well, life. Every moment isn’t an adventure. I can look back and say that there are definitely days or moments that felt magical, and I thank God for those, but that’s just not something that happens every day.
Missionaries are just ordinary people- people who struggle and sin and have a lot of growing to do in their relationship with Jesus. If you need an example, my teammate Emmy and I bicker and challenge each other like sisters. There have been times when we have said really hurtful things to each other and had to give/receive lots of grace. Of course we know we love each other, but like I said, we’re human and we both fall short in this way.
When I first arrived in India, I felt joyless, purposeless, and had no passion or desire to do ministry. No part of me loved it here. We have good living conditions, good food, good weather- there was nothing not to like. I just couldn’t seem to find the same peace and joy that I’d been carrying in my heart the prior few months. I was going through the motions. Looking back now, I think I was mourning leaving Nepal and getting tired of living in such close quarters with so many people for so long (not many people know that I’m actually an introvert- it’s how I recharge. Your girl loves her alone time). Needless to say, month 5 hit me like a brick wall. I knew I couldn’t let the enemy steal my joy, and I refused to believe the lie that I would feel this way the entire two months of India. I prayed and fasted and as soon as I started leaning into the Lord and surrendering it all, He began filling me back up with all that I was lacking. India still isn’t my favorite place, but I believe God has a purpose for my time here; so I’m choosing to be present and make the most of it.
Just last week, one of my closest friends went back home to the states. I watched her lay in her bed, sick and struggling, for the 3 weeks prior. It was hard to watch her suffer, but also hard to send her off unknowing of whether she’ll return to finish the Race with me. (Keep her in your prayers if you’re reading this; her name is Sarah.)
I can say that in every moment that I’ve suffered, been uncomfortable, unhappy, or missed home, Jesus never left me. I have seen a new side of God’s face in his infinite comfort and joy that I may have never seen before if it weren’t for my suffering and imperfection. In fact, lately he’s been reminding me that suffering is an essential and promised part of our Christian walk. If you’re not ever going places in life that have the potential to bring you suffering, chances are you’re not running after Jesus with everything you have. Through trials he has truly become “my strength and my shield (Psalm 28:7)” and shown me the meaning of “for when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinth 12:10).” I can now say “halleluuuujaaah” for my hard times and all my mistakes.
(Whew, it took everything in me not to go on a tangent there y’all… I encourage you to take a journey and learn what Scripture says about suffering. Remember the people around the world who suffer everyday for the name of Jesus while we live extra-comfy lives in the States. Sorry- like I said, tangent. Heres some scripture on it: 1 Corinth 1:5-7 1 Peter 4:16 Hebrews 11:33-38)
Before I came on the Race, I saw all the cool, adventurous videos and pictures. I’ve learned that the way we imagine other people’s lives when we see pictures is almost always better than that actual moment probably was. I knew God called me to go on this trip, but there was definitely a part of me that wanted to go because I knew people would think I was this really cool and great person if I did. I had all these expectations of how my life would be on the field, what people would think of me, etc. Now I know that it’s not about me at all. So let’s give GOD the glory he deserves- I ask you to praise HIM for the awesome things He’s doing through his people around the world. Without him, we are nothing and we can do nothing. With him, we are loved and we can do anything. The glory is his alone.
