If you would have asked me in High School or heck even 5 years ago what my dream was i would have told u to graduate college with an secondary education degree and a minor in animal science, to show shorthorn cattle, train race horses, get married, have with 2 kids (boys not girls no thanks lol I know what I put my mom through tabs I’m not about that life) have a house in the country with property. I had a dream I had a plan. I never stopped for a sec to ask God if that was his plan and by the time I did I was so far from his path that he said “AbbyLin to put u back on the right path I am going to break u. Break u into a million pieces. But have faith and trust in me and I am going to build u back up better, and stronger but u have to get through the bad.” And he did he gave me a taste of my dream I met a race horse trainer fell in love moved into a house with drug addicts, thief’s, and manipulators. But I had a taste of my dream I was getting to watch and be apart of these magnificent animals preform and do what they loved to do, i got to feel what it was like to have have someone love me! The guy and I got into a fight one day and God told me “Abby you are only here to help put him together.” I was heartbroken, i wanted it forever i didn’t want to be the fixer! I ignored God and kept falling for him. I stayed in a terrible situation cuz he was there! After a year i finally convinced him that we needed to get out of that house we needed to do better, so off to Dallas we went we gave up the race horse dream. While in Dallas we both changed and things ended, he cheated he broke me. Broke me in ways I never thought I could be. He would get drunk and become physically abusive, He constantly told me I would never find anyone better than him, I was going to b alone forever. I believed him, when he left that dream I had left with him! I contemplated suicide multiple times. I was so caught up in him and that dream that I lost myself and my identity in christ. I was alone 500 miles away from anyone and everyone I knew. I was brought low! I found God again in my lowest and he built me back up just like he promised!. It lead me to move home to pursue him more. I had a million more ups and downs along the way But God was a constant in my life! But I rarely stopped and asked what His plan was for my life, the only times i did was when it involved my career. Which he lead me completely away from anything agriculture related, and that hurt a lot because that’s my passion that’s my heart.
So If you would have asked me a year ago if I would ever do anything like the World Race I would have laughed in your face and said no way! I didn’t have the confidence to be bold or uncomfortable! It was never apart of my plan! God may have took agriculture from me but he gave me a new passion for underprivileged kids and the juvenile system. If u have read my blog u know in October that all changed as well. God lead me to the World Race. God lead me to have this passion to tell ppl about God and to become less so he can become more, and to become the hands and feet of Christ. His plan for my life is far greater and than mine. I have dreams but they didn’t line up with what he has for me. Let me tell you sometimes that sucks! Animals were my life for so long, but it wasn’t his plan. Putting down my will and picking up his was hard. Like I said he broke me, he broke me into a million pieces. I hurt in ways I could never hurt. But God was there every step of the way, encouraging me, loving me, crying for every tear I cried. It hurt him to do that to me but it was for my own good.
God won’t take anything from u without replacing it something better. He was molding me into the Woman that he needed me to be to complete his will for my life! God cares about what u do but it’s more important to become the person he needs u to be. He wants u to know his will but what he want more is for you to know him! Take heart in the struggles and the pain he’s making you more than you could ever imagine!
