I hope you begin to understand that I am NOT crazy. I am just seeking to follow the Lord more with all of me.
At my school which I love dearly and is also a very dark place. I am a part of trying to start a 7 am prayer group with one of my friends who I lead a bible study with. This is a very challenging thing to do because it is cold and dark at 7 this time of year not to mention the fact that I was offered a job to work from 6-8 in the mornings every so often but I get to choose my hours. Not only that but I don’t make very much and am trying to save as much as I can so I need to work as much as I can, hence me taking the job while trying to do well in school and get everything I need for this life I am stepping in to as well as saving some money for after the Race.
I also have been thinking about sponsoring a child for quite some time and have come to this realization that I have given most of my life over to God and a significant amount of time and energy and life over to him just not anything financially.
Do I need money? Yes, I need money to pay bills to buy food to live on.
Do I have money? Yes, I have money. I have enough money to where I can support myself and pay for gas to get me places to train for the World Race. I have money to pay for car insurance, InterVarsity events, gear and the things I need to for the World Race at the moment while saving a little.
Do I need more money? No, not at the present moment.
Do I have Jesus? Yes I have Jesus. I have a lot of Jesus in that I am seeking him a long side a very passionate community of people who are affecting my life in a very positive way that over the course of time has impacted me in crazy ways that have helped me come to this conclusion that I am a solid believer in Christ.
Do I need more of Jesus? Always, my personal Philosophy is that if I am the same person I was yesterday, today what good is that? If I have not learned from my experiences the day prior. Am I a very similar person? Sure, theres not much growth that can happen in 24 hours. It takes experience to grow. Some days there aren’t crazy experiences that change you and open your eyes to God. Some days there are.
In the Summer of 2016, I had a major life event happen to me. I drove my car through a fence going between 65-70 mph while I was serving out at Beartooth Christian camp, where I wasn’t making any money. For the next ten weeks or 2 1/2 months I had to, almost every day, walk by that car and remember my selfishness of my decision to buy Chacos, but also remember Gods mercy and grace on my soul because I wasn’t injured.
I sold my car 4 weeks after starting school and humbled myself for the next 4 weeks in asking for rides and borrowing my roommates’ cars. I quit my job that I was working because I wasn’t getting enough hours and the hours I wanted. I remained at my other job and was able to work more and God provided for me. 4 weeks after this happened God provided me with the money for a car and a car that I could afford.
Jesus says in Matthew 6:24 “that no man can serve both God and money.” I think as though without putting my money where my heart and mouth is I am not trusting the Lord as much and I believe the best way to increase trust in the Lord is by talking to him and about him daily, hence the not working in the morning to pray and the decision to sponsor a child while trusting that God can provide the money I need for this next phase of my life and making sure that I have the money I need when I return.
Please pray for me in my trusting God in this area of my life as well as prayerfully joining me financially. Letters are coming in the next couple of weeks.
Rest in the mercy and grace of the Lord,
Zack
