Worth. It’s something I’ve always struggled with. “I’m not smart enough,” or “I’m not strong enough.” “I’m not good enough,” and “I’m not good looking enough and I could never be with her.” These are the thoughts that plagued my young mind and still did from time to time. That’s until I gave my life to Christ. When that happened, He took those thoughts and feelings away for the most part. When did it start? I don’t know/remember, but the enemy sure did love to use it against me. I remember being so scared of everything all because I didn’t know my worth. Well those feelings and insecurities have come back. Right now I can’t comprehend the fact that the God who created everything in existence thinks I’m worth anything, because for so long I didn’t think I amounted to anything. And for so long I wouldn’t admit that I didn’t believe I was worth anything. The past month I’ve really been trying to process what it means to find my worth in Him.
It’s been challenging because I’ve discovered I still don’t know my worth in Him. My friend John and I shared the gospel with a man that had lost his children back in Zimbabwe. John and I comforted him with a few encouraging words, but the Lord wanted me to tell this man how much He means to Him. So I asked him if he would have given up his children for anything in this world. He said no. I proceeded to tell him that that’s exactly what the Lord did for him. I told him that our Heavenly Father loves him so much, that He sent His son to die for us and specifically him. I said Christ loves him and that the Lord thinks he’s worth dying for.
As I said those words, I knew right then I didn’t fully understand that myself. Even though I don’t feel loved by God I know I have to push through that and take my feelings captive and give them to Him. I know it’s not going to be an easy thing to walk through but I know He’s got me and He’s worth it. I think it’s going to be a beautiful thing when the Lord helps me realize my worth in Him. But for now, I just have to be content and joyful in this season even if I don’t feel like it. We are called to keep our thoughts captive and I know He’ll help me do just that. And I know He’ll help me do that with a joy that surpasses all understanding because that’s just how good He is.
Thanks for reading and all of your support!
