Hey friends. Sorry I haven’t posted anything in a month, it has been busy. I will be writing multiple blogs in the next week, so you will get filled in on everything and I can’t wait for you to read. In the meantime, I have a blog I need to write first. This one is going to be a little different. I just lost my Grandpa yesterday and would love to just write and seek God’s words and love in this blog.
Last Thursday I received a message from my Mom. My Grandpa was being taken off of his medicine and would most likely pass away soon. He always told us that he had lived a long and great life. He never wanted to live in an assisted living home. He wanted to go peacefully in his own home with his wife and daughter by his side. When my Mom and Grandma realized God was calling him HOME, they decided to stop the medicine and pray out the final days with him. My Grandpa passed away yesterday with my Mom and Grandma by his side, in his favorite place of the house, under his favorite Alabama football blanket.
My heart hurt. When I found out Thursday I immediately resorted to my old self. I used to be a loner. When pain would show up, I would disappear. I never knew where to go, but I would just go. I never wanted anyone to help and I definitely didn’t want to seek God’s love. I have been working so hard to break down those walls. I was trying so hard to hold things inside when I was in the living room with all of the guys and then I finally cracked. Tears began to pour out and I asked for prayer. I asked for peace. My heart is always focused on others and how they feel. I immediately thought about my Mom and Grandma and how they were going to get through. I finally got everything out and they began to pray for peace. It came. It has showered our family. My Grandpa is with Jesus and his son now. It’s hard to explain the warmth in my heart and how different this experience has been for me. I am learning a big and important lesson. Peace is not the absence of something, it’s the presence of someone.
God aligned so much for our family. He was working long before my Grandpa’s death. I was preparing to leave for the World Race. My sister just became an entrepreneur. My brother works a very flexible schedule in California. What does this have to do with it? It allowed our entire family to be together for the whole month of July. We were able to be very intentional with our time. We didn’t take our time for granted. We haven’t regretted one thing. It was like God was already working on our hearts. He was getting us ready because we all knew death was approaching. He took a trainwreck of emotions and spread them out. We were able to mourn over time instead of in a single moment. We were protected all along. The most beautiful thing about this is it’s only pulling our family closer to God. Jesus didn’t die for us so we would fear death and fear pain. He died so we would rejoice when people go HOME to Him. We are all homesick just working our way back home. Our family doesn’t feel lost. We don’t feel anger. We don’t feel hatred. We feel closer. We feel loved. We feel peace. We feel all of these things because of Jesus’ love. When you ask for it, I promise you will receive it. “In order to have a peace that surpasses all understanding, you have to give up your right to understand” – Bill Johnson. We don’t understand why we feel the way we do. We can’t explain it. We do know where it comes from. If you want it, all you have to do is ask. Seek peace.
I also encourage you to love your family members. It is so sad that death is a big reminder for so many. Everyone needs love. Everyone needs family. We were created that way and feel empty if we don’t have it. Love those God blessed you with. Seek community and don’t do this life alone. I have tried and it doesn’t work. I have also experienced what it is like to accept help and community in these times and it is much more fulfilling.
With family and love comes memories. The love my Grandpa showed for me leaves me with so much. My heart is so full. I can look back on all the great times and smile. I don’t know how I could do anything but smile. It seems like every living moment with that man brought happiness. He taught me how to fish, and throw a fish back. Sometimes I decided to throw them like a football as far as I could, but it helped me become the QB that I was haha. The endless amounts of golf cart rides with him. The sugar covered grapefruit breakfasts in Florida. The enjoyable football talks about Alabama and his favorite coach ever, Paul “Bear” Bryant. Shuffleboard competitions. Being in the stands for every one of my sports games it seems like. He did it all. He was Superman. Now he’s happy and home.
“Prayerlessness brings on battles that we were never meant to fight.” – Bill Johnson
If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. – Matthew 21:22
