The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
I was in Georgia for 10 days and I don’t think I was dry from the time I landed in Atlanta till the time I departed…YUCK! Despite extreme heat discomfort for a New Englander, Training Camp was AMAZING! I am truly overwhelmed by what I experienced in Gainesville, GA.
Leading up to Training Camp I had many nerves that were playing with my stomach; I was nervous, I was excited, I was anxious, I was stressed, and plainly didn’t know what to expect. But when I finally met my squad (50 AMAZING people) my butterflies flew away and I got SUPER excited. What was even more exciting is my squad is just one of six…there were 300 people at Training Camp that I got to spend time with and worship JESUS with!
The first few days were overwhelming because I was meeting so many new people, I was sweating more than ever, and above all I was facing A LOT of spiritual warfare. I grew up learning that the closer you get to God’s will the harder Satan attacks and let me tell you…its a very real thing. I began to feel overwhelming waves of shame from recent slip ups and a past I was already free from, I felt unworthy and incapable to be going on this trip, I began comparing myself to others around me, I began to doubt my call to go on this trip and my call to ministry, I began to doubt myself, and I even began to doubt God. It was AWFUL. Despite relentlessly praying, worshipping, and rejoicing with 300 people on fire for Jesus, I felt spiritually empty. Though I was still having fun my feelings were so severe I didn’t even want to be there…but I also didn’t want to go home. I felt so lost, I had allowed my depressive feelings (flesh) to take over my joy (spirit). I was putting too much weight on my shoulders with fundraising, college, leaving family, leaving my girlfriend (who is going to different countries), and sin that I was still trying to fight on my own. I could feel God prompting me to surrender these things to Him, and after a few days of praising God through numbness I finally fell on my knees, with tears streaming down my face and I gave it ALL to Him…again.
“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
I am a sinner, but through Jesus Christ I am redeemed and made new in Him because I have given my life to Him, I am saved. I don’t need to cling to the wrong things I’ve done and the sin that has separated me from God, instead I can look to God and surrender my life to Him so He can use me for His glory. I was reminded that it’s not about me and my sin, it never has been and never will be — He is greater than my sin, He is greater than my good, He is goodness itself! It’s all about Jesus! This once again brought me so much joy and the rest of the week was AMAZING.
Training camp consisted of:
bucket showers, sharing portapotties with 300 people, eating what smelled and tasted like a 10,000 year old dinosaur egg, eating crickets, eating off community plates, eating with my hands, drinking gallons of water, tenting, dance-offs and dance parties, spontaneous worship, dancing and singing in the rain, sessions and more sessions, training for men, hiking, shopping in a global market place with people screaming and pick pocketing, campfires, bro hugs, prayer, and LOTS of praising JESUS!!!
With all that said I grew REALLY close to my new family…meet Q Squad!!!
There are 48 Racers in Q Squad and I’m super excited to be serving with them for the next nine months! Out of this family of 48 the boys are a bit outnumbered…there’s only nine of us. Q Squad is split up into teams of 5-9 people to keep our ministry most effective, and I’m super excited to share that all of the guys are in one team! Let me introduce you to my team, RELENTLESS!!!
Left-Right: Nathan, Me, Cy, Trevor, Logan, Alex, Moncho
Left-Right: Jesse, Andrew
I get to eat, sleep, serve, and grow close to these amazing men of God for the next nine months and I am so excited to see how God works in and through them! We are a band of brothers that want to do nothing less of sharing the RELENTLESS love of God!!!
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God bless,
Tyler
