Coming on the World Race, I knew who I was would change; I knew I would grow and learn. I knew I would hold different perspectives and see real faces in my mind when I thought of societal, political and theological “issues”. And this has proven true.
But I went further than that.
I even already knew the lessons I would learn, or at least I thought- preconceived judgements of who I would become and how. And this has proven outrageously untrue.
So here are 11 lessons I thought I would learn, versus what I actually learned.
1. I thought I would learn that gratefulness is automatic when you’re looking orphans who haven’t eaten in the face every day. I actually learned that gratefulness is always a choice. You have to decide to act on it. I’m free to pray for a recently widowed woman who is living in a tin shack and then return to my current home and complain about my uncomfortable bed, cold shower or lack of electricity. And if I’m being honest, I am not proud to admit that I have. The truth is, gratefulness is a choice I have to make every day and sometimes I fail to do so.
2. I thought I would learn that Christian women are (and should be) reserved, void of negative emotions and quiet. I actually learned, rather, met, 18 women who are fierce in pursuing the heart of the Lord, diverse in their opinions, free to feel their emotions fully and set on seeking truth. And wow, what a beautiful thing that is.
3. I thought I would learn that serving the Lord would bring nothing but mountaintop faith experiences again and again. I actually learned that the Lord can be found just as clearly in the mundane moments of washing laundry in buckets, sweating as you try to sleep and checking your friend’s head for lice for the 15th time in the month.
4. I thought I would learn that when God fulfills a dream in your life, you are constantly happy. I actually learned that, much like gratefulness, joy is a choice I make, not an automatic response to a prayer answered, necessarily. The Race is a dream come true for me, but it’s also my real life right now. I have to choose joy every day- even on the days I’m tired, even on the days I miss home, even on the days I never stop sweating. There is always an excuse to not choose joy; don’t give in to it.
5. I thought I would learn that Christians who are serious about the Lord and serving Him would never let you down. I actually learned that this was a naive notion for two reasons- this has been disproven in my life before and I am a Christian who loves the Lord and serving, yet still let people down regularly.
6. I thought I would learn that God is calling me to live in a foreign country for the rest of my life. I actually learned that the Lord has placed a HUGE desire for serving the unseen no matter where I live- which is looking more and more like the USA. (The Race isn’t over yet, though, to be fair. Haha)
7. I thought I would learn that sin is easier to avoid when you remove yourself from your normal environment. I actually learned that sins like pride, greed, envy, complacency, idolatry, etc. can follow you all the way around the world and God sees them all the same.
8. I thought I would learn that I needed to focus on not doing bad things in seeking the Lord. (Don’t say mean things; don’t steal things; don’t think those things; etc. etc.) I actually learned that seeking to do good is so much more fruitful and displays the Lord’s grace even more clearly. (Love God; love others; pursue the fruits of the spirit, etc.)
9. I thought I would learn that strength looks like gritting your teeth and trudging forward in problems in silent resilience, and to be sure, it probably does at times, but I actually learned that strength looks like vulnerability and resilience looks like being still in the knowledge that God will fight for you.
10. I thought I would learn that Christianity looks the same for everyone; everything in scripture is clearly laid out; everything is black and white; every person should live by the same set of standards. I actually learned that there’s a difference between Scripture and conviction. I learned that people can adore and seek after the same God I do, and yet, have completely different beliefs on almost every issue. I’ve learned that the Lord values the intent of your heart (seeking Him) more than what you actually do.
11. And finally, I thought I would learn that God would be more approving of me because I gave everything up to serve Him- family, possessions, the comforts I’m used to, etc. Rather, I found a God who would’ve loved and desired me the same had a spent the whole year at home doing nothing but watching Netflix and eating sweets. Max Lucado says it best in his book Grace, “Of all the things you have to earn in life, God’s unending affection is not one of them.” And Romans 3:25 says, “You were made right with God when you believe Jesus shed his blood, sacrificing his life for us.” In other words, I wasn’t made “right” by serving God. I was made right simply by believing.
So there you have it- 11 lessons I thought I would learn versus the 11 lessons I actually have learned.
Thanks for staying updated- reading my blogs, praying for me and encouraging me. I’m so thankful for y’all!
