“If I was to pull you aside at final debrief and asked you if you finished well and what that looked like for you, what would you say?” – Jeremy (Squad Mentor)
This has been a topic of conversation since nearing the end of the race. Finishing well, finishing strong. What does that look like? How do you?
This is what you answered:
I want to get home from the race and look back at this season and say that I finished well by being faithful in the little things. That I followed through with my convictions and whatever Jesus put on my heart, even when I didn’t feel like it. Whatever that looked like. Whether He told me to hug this person, to go talk to this person, to pray for this person, to serve like this to this capacity, etc. That I trusted even when I could not see.
If I arrive at the end of the race looking back with regret or disappointment, nobody is at fault besides me. I am in control of how I choose to end this season. Not what ministry was like, what our living situation was like, etc.
Like right now, ministry is kind of hard at first this month (month 10). I was having trouble finding purpose in it or feel like I am actually making a difference. And it is just exhausting, our days are long. Not to mention we are over run by monster crickets and spiders haha. Everyday it’s either waking up to some kind of big in my bed or cricket and now scorpion roaming the house hahaha. So, how do I finish strong when I don’t feel like it?
A lot is going on back home and a huge part of me wants to be back home with my family during this time but I know I am where I am supposed to be right now. But I started to just mentally check out the beginning of this month and was just thinking about all the things going on back home and I just wanted to be there.And all the things I miss about home. America. BUT THEN in a loving gracious way, God convicted me with scripture haha, as well as our amazing squad mentor and coaches that poured wisdom into us- helped me shift my perspective.
Here is the scripture:
“Be enthusiastic to serve the Lord, keeping your passion toward him boiling hot! Radiate with the glow of the Holy Spirit and let him fill you with excitement as you serve him. Let this hope burst forth within you, releasing a continual joy. Don’t give up in a time of trouble, but commune with God at all times.” – Romans 12:11-12
Karen, our squad coach wrote us an email that was super encouraging, but one quote in particular is what did it for me.
It was this: “Each season of our lives will one day be reduced to a sentence. It’s how we ourselves complete those sentences, living out our stories in each season, that matters.” – Andy Stanley.
I don’t want to get home from the Race and realized I didn’t finish as well as I could have. I don’t want it to be because it got hard or wasn’t ideal and so I checked out. But rather that I pressed in and continued despite it not being ideal. Cause isn’t that when character and discipline is built. When things aren’t as easy as we expected but we finish well no matter what?
After this new perspective things kind of shifted. In the classrooms we were helping the children do home work in – I couldn’t really help because you had to know Spanish to help them and I don’t know enough to help so I end up sitting there doodling. Well the following day when I walked into the class, a few of the kids came up to me and wanted me to draw them pictures. So that is what I end up doing. I just draw pictures for these kids and write “ You are loved” and that is ministry. My teammate Amanda showed me this Marco Polo (Video messaging app) that her friend sent her. Her friend is from Vietnam and was in a refugee camp in (somehwere I don’t remember) and she said she remember this girl that was there from America. She was sweating from he heat, her hair was a mess, she doesn’t remember what she taught her or said, or even her name, but she does remember how she made her feel, how she loved and always had a bright smile on her face.
So that was encouraging. Even if I can’t speak the same language as these kids and help them in those ways- loving is enough. That is what they remember. Not what homework some stranger helped them with, but how they loved.
Anywayyyyysss, thanks for reading!!
Till next time,
T.
