Homesickness hit me month 2 while in Morocco (just as my Mum predicted it would…). I woke up one morning and everything was reminding me of home: the feel of the day, the cool breeze coming through the windows, the absence of my family and the different interactions I had. I knew it would come. I knew that at some point the realisation that I was far from home and missing my loved ones would bring me to tears. That night as we worshipped on our rooftop under the Moroccan sky, I wept while my Heavenly Father comforted me.
Fast forward a few days and my nephew turned 1! I briefly called my family and they were all together celebrating Leo’s birthday. It was so sweet being able to talk to them, but I didn’t foresee how much it would affect me. I choked back wave after wave of tears after the call ended and I again felt this ‘homesickness’. It was the first major event that I missed while away on this trip. The thought that ‘I will never get that back’ entered and I grieved the fact that I missed an important milestone in his life.
A few days later we entered our debrief time as a whole squad for our last week in Morocco. A consistent question asked by my one on ones with my leaders was, “How are you going being away from home?”
Homesickness is a reality and something I have had to process. As I have journeyed through some homesickness I have been reminded that my true home is with Jesus. No matter where I am, I am always at home. He has made His home in me just as John 14:23 says “Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” There is such comfort and peace in knowing that wherever I go, home is not a place but a state of being. I am at home in God’s presence and He is forever with me.
I miss my family and friends back in my hometown. Homesickness will come and go, there will be tears and that’s ok. It is part of the journey. I am thankful I have relationships to miss.
However, when I am experiencing the weight of that separation from my loved ones, God is gently inviting me into deeper intimacy with Him. To run to Him for comfort instead of my family, to come to Him for love first instead of my loved ones and to seek Him for my worth, instead of seeking it from my friends. Because I find all I am in Him. He is the only one who truly satisfies, loves me unconditionally and desires all of me. He is my greatest comforter, lover and friend.
I’m now in Cyprus in an amazing home we have been blessed with in Nicosia. This place reminds me of my grandparents place growing up. The feel, smells, furniture, crockery, matching bed sets and marmalade on toast. My grandparents house is my favourite childhood place and holds so many precious memories. God knows me and knows my heart as He kindly gives me reminders of these things on the other side of the world. There are lots of little reminders of home that bring comfort, a smile to my face and warmth to my heart. However, He is transporting me back to my childhood because I believe He has some lessons for me to learn there, things to be reminded of and a childlike faith to return to. He is beginning to strip me back.
Because He is good and because He cares.
