This last weekend 13 of us girls decided to hike the third tallest volcano in Central America. It was probably the hardest physical thing I have ever done in my whole life. It took us six hours to get to our camp ground which was probably a mile from the summit. During the six hours of hiking to the top we went through 5,000 ft of elevation, so not a lot of talking was going on because we were focused on our breathing. So we had a lot of time to just think and personal reflection. I was thinking a lot right at the beginning “why did I decide to do this hike, its too hard, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it to the top.” The night before we had a teaching about the cost of being a disciple and it spoke into the fact that it is always worth it in the end. So the whole way up I was talking to the Lord and asking him to help me do this hike and to make my legs just take another step because everything hurt to move. I realized that I can’t do life without asking the Lord everyday to help me, make me move, and to put things in front of me so I can do His work. It isn’t always easy, and sometimes you want to give up and turn around because the life you were living before was easier.
But this life is immeasurably better and God can give us more when we are following him then when we are living out of pride and doing it all for ourselves. We have to put away any doubt because that is of the flesh and being a disciple means trying everyday to live in the Spirit and do what the Lord says because He can do anything and nothing is impossible to Him. Right now I am asking the Lord for His heart for the people I meet and the people I already love. I want to be able to rejoice with others in their happy times and cry with them when they have hard times. That last part is harder for me because I hate crying, but I am learning it is healthy and it can help you grow in intimacy with those around you and Jesus.
So even though the hike was extremely hard, and I am still super sore today, the view at the top was amazing. We were above the clouds and right next to an active volcano so we got to watch it all afternoon, and then at night we woke up to it rumbling and saw the most amazing eruption with the red lava spewing out of it. It was so beautiful. So the cost of being a disciple means leaving your pride, leaving the flesh, putting away your doubt, and listening to Jesus and what he is telling you in that moment. I am still learning all of these things and sometimes it is really hard . I sometimes I feel like I am not doing good, but I know it is a process and it takes time and I need to have to have grace for myself. But at the end of the day, it is so much better to live for the Kingdom because we are getting to live with Jesus and have eternal life with Him. Because of that, I don’t know about you, but I think it is worth the suffering to live in eternity with the one person who will never betray, hurt, or not love us.
WOW, Jesus loves you so much I hope you know that.
Love, Syd (:
P.S.- today is our last day of ministry here in Guatemala. We are cleaning tomorrow and then headed to a mini debrief on Friday to learn more about our 4 day travel week to Thailand, and then we will be on a plane Monday! So prayers for safe travels as we head to Thailand and start ministry there! My team does not know our ministry besides the fact that we will be living in Chang Mai at the base there with two other teams so we are very excited to see what the Lord has in store for us!
