this month in india hasnt been the greatest.
two of teammates, sarah west and annalise, went home back to back these past two weeks. and then to add on to that, my family got some rough news that my mom has stage 1 breast cancer (a blessing cause they caught it early, really sucks cause its still cancer). so its been a really sucky couple of weeks and im really over it. im over the enemy thinking he has a foothold on my team. im over heavy hearts and more heartbreak. im over goodbyes and cars driving away from the TCS hostel. im tired of missing home like crazy because 2 of my teammates are there right now and i would LOVE to give my mom a hug. ive felt like ive been hit week after week with bad news and there is nothing i can do to make things better.
and so i asked this question: how can the father be using this situation for his divine purpose? and like always the Lord brought me scripture. in the book of habakkuk, this guy is crying out and complaining to the lord. habakkuk 1:1 — “o lord, how long shall i cry for help, and you will not hear?” and the Father goes to answer him saying “For i am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if I told.” when i read this i was astounded. everything thing thats happened hasnt made sense but it does to the lord. and in habakkuk 3:17-18 — habakkuk is praising the lord even in this season of heaviness, “though the fig tree should not blossom, not fruit on the vines … yet i will rejoice in the lord; i will take joy in the God of my salvation.” its a really cool thing when you sing in the midst of a storm. when you choose daily your attitude. the Father revealed to me that the only way I can fight for my teammates that left and to love my mom all the way from across the world is to pray. to be in constant communication with him and go to him with every negative thought the enemy puts in my head. to pray fervently (convienient team name right). and to give my control to the Father every morning, noon, and night saying i trust you with it all no matter what happens.
so yeah — life right now is heavy, hard, and tiring. but through this the lord and his faithfulness will shine through. it wont be about sickness, homesickness, or anything like that. but about how he is using this for his glory past my understanding.
