1. There are a lot of great and difficult things associated with community living. Like how it’s wonderful to be able to witness everyone’s routines during the day/night, but sometimes that constant closeness leads to taking each other’s presence for granted and forgetting to have intentional conversations. Another side of that though is that because there are fifty of us, if I tried to have an intentional conversation with each person even in one week, it might kill me (not literally but you know). I’m finding more and more that even though I am an introverted person, I actually enjoy being with people 24/7; the only downside being that I don’t realize how badly I need to be alone until I’m exhausted. That to say, I’m learning how to balance intentionality, FOMO, alone time with myself, and alone time with the Lord.
2. Most Relatable Quote of the Week: “You must give up your right to decide what is good and evil on your own terms. That is a hard pill to swallow- choosing to live only in me. To do that, you must know me enough to trust me and learn to lean in my inherent goodness.” -The Shack
3. Ministry: I’ve had additional thoughts about how God uses the small things for the cause of big changes. This past week it’s been easy to doubt that the small things I can do for these kids is even enough. It’s easy to doubt that anything is even being done when I can’t see any repercussions, but the Lord is showing me that we together are enough. As Christians, we are nothing on our own, but with each other we become a mass of teachers, friends, guardians, counselors; we become a mass in which can be relatable to anyone. So what are the small things that each of us can do; reflections of the only love we all need. The Lord’s love is tangible through us; we are only enough because of Him.
4. Most Relevant Question of the Week: Who is the Lord to these people.
5. Only Conclusion that I’ve Come to: The same father He is to you.
6. Funniest Fail: Abby, Maggie, and I decided to sleep on top of a storage container outside on what happened to be the first lightening storm in a while. I wasn’t too worried that the lightening was straight above us until Abby remembered someone telling her that lighting is the number two cause of death in Swaziland. So after dropping all of our sleeping things in the dirt twenty-seven times, we finally managed to set up our stuff in the “multi-cultural” room where it promptly started pouring down rain. It was worth the good laugh though.
7. This past week I started reading Isiah and was having major trouble understanding how a God that destroys so much could be the same God who chases after me lovingly. After a couple revelations and finally getting to the verse, “destruction has been decreed overwhelming and righteous” (Isiah 10:22), I think I finally understand that we cannot confine the Lord’s love to our own definition. His love includes destruction for the purpose of rebuilding; we would be lucky to be considered worthy of his destruction.
8. I don’t need to worry whether or not He will be glorified; He is God and He works to glorify himself in and through all things. It is arrogant to think that I could stand in the way of the Lord. Lately my prayer has been for Him to show me how to let go of myself; the only way that I can be assured my actions are glorifying Him is for Him to be the only life I chase. “If you had intimacy with the Father, then you wouldn’t see through your own eyes, but His.”
10. Thank you for everything Lord. Thank you for sending me here, thank you for letting my be a part of sharing your gospel. Thank you for the responsibilities, the hardships, the laughs, the people, the differences, the discernment, the moments of panic, the homesickness. These are all reminders of the burdens that we put on ourselves by attaching our spirits to this world instead of you; and the pain that comes from the separation is just a marker that you are showing me new life in you.
(Sorry about the typos, wifi was rushed)
