I’m sorry I haven’t blogged in so long. If I’m being completely honest, I find it hard to write when I’m “in the midst of things” – like if something’s unsettled or I haven’t finished something, I struggle to write about it. Like if I’m struggling with something or going through something, or even learning something, I can’t seem to write about it until I come out the other side. I know that’s no excuse, so let’s just say I’m lazy (haha whoops). So with that being said, I haven’t been able to write about my ministry until tonight – until I officially “finished it”. (I’m posting this in Thailand, wrote this about two weeks ago. Sorry for the delay!)
Before I talk about what I’ve been doing here (which is what I want to primarily focus on), I want to give a brief description of where my teams and I are living. Me, my team, and two other teams (that’s about 24 of us in total) are staying in Jeffry’s Bay, South Africa. Jeffry’s Bay is located on the Eastern Cape and is world famous for its waves and surf. It’s a smaller town, but it’s also big. It takes about 10 minutes to drive across the whole town, and 10 minutes to drive from the coast to the edge of it. But the population is pretty big.
Jeffry’s Bay is almost completely divided: Black & white and the rich & impoverished. I’ve never seen segregation like I have here. You walk through the slums, and it’s impossible to find a white person; you walk through the rich neighborhoods, and you can’t find a black person. Racial tension and segregation is at an all time high here. I’ve heard white people comment on the litter on the streets, saying stuff like “that’s from all all those blacks” (I’ve seen about a dozen white guys throw trash out their window since I’ve been here). I’ve heard so many comments & I’ve listened to so many stories about the divide here and how each race views the other – it’s really unsettling.
This may not seem important to what I’m doing here, but it is. Because of the segregation and economic divide, there’s about no crossover between the two sides. There’s such little crossover that they speak completely different languages – in two sides of town that are about 5 minutes apart. Those from the richer areas speak English & Afrikans, and those from the slums and squatter communities speak Xhosa (pronounced “cosa”).
For the past few months, me and a group of 6 other girls have been working with a program called Ithemba. Ithemba is a school for kids ages 3-6 that live in the slums and squatter communities here in Jeffry’s Bay, South Africa. Their main goal is to teach these kids either English or Afrikans – because if they can speak either of these languages, they qualify for schools & scholarships that help get them out of the slums and ultimately get out of poverty. Along with learning these languages, they get to exercise, learn math, eat, and play.
From the very first day we got to this school, we immediately fell in love with it. All the kids have little green uniforms and they’re just so cute. They’re eager and excited about anything and everything that’s put in front of them. They have so much love to give that it’s overwhelming – it’s incomprehensible. A lot of these kids come from broken homes, broken families, abuse, parental neglect… you name it. But you’d never be able to guess based on the way these kids love.
As much detail as I’d like to go into about all the stories and memories I have here, I have to keep it short. Long story short, my friend Nat and I had the incredible opportunity to TA (Teacher Assist) for a class for 4-5 year olds. It was so much fun. Honestly, this is one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life. I absolutely fell in love with it. We got to teach them how to draw “2’s”, write their names, color inside of lines, and count to 10 in Afrikans.
Alongside with serving younger kids at the school, we had the incredible opportunity to help with their after school program too. Primary students (about middle school age) from the same areas and neighborhoods come to Ithemba to be served food and work on homework. I had the privelage of helping 6th graders with English and addition!
*I’m gonna divide this blog into two separate parts: part 1 being what I just wrote (my ministry background) and now I want to move into part 2 – my friend Jayden!
I remember the first day I got to Ithemba and walked into my class for the first time. I was overwhelmed with joy for all the kids and there was just so much going on. But in the back of the class, I immediately noticed a little boy who, to me, stood out amongst the rest. Maybe it was because of his cool little dreads or his little surfer outfit, but from the get go I thought to myself “this is my kid”.
Meet Jayden: My all time best friend
At recess, Jayden fought other kids. Not necessarily serious fights, but just for fun. He had a little group of friends who would all just fight each other and put each other in choke holds, and they didn’t know how to have fun any other way. I was determined to get to know this kid and learn more about him. So, I essentially just followed him around the playground for two weeks or so. Unlike the other 99% of the kids, Jayden wasn’t interested in us. The fact that we were there to play with them and love on them didn’t matter to him, and he didn’t talk to us. But for whatever reason, I was so drawn to this little guy. So for about two weeks or so, I essentially followed him around the playground. (he got transferred to another class after the first day, so I only got to see him twice a day at recess)
Little by little, he started to open up. He started to notice me and would ask me to “spin him” (in very broken English). We would play games and play “Spider-Man”, and after a couple of weeks, he completely left behind his group of friends (who were kind of punk kids to be honest) and decided that he didn’t want to fight anymore.
Fast forward to the last week and a half or so of ministry, Jayden wouldn’t leave my side. He would sit in my lap all of recess and would just lay there for thirty minutes. I would ask him questions in English and he would actually understand, and answer them as best as he could. He would climb all over me and just wanted to play and be around me. He would randomly give me hugs and just had the biggest smile on at all times. At this point, he left behind all his other friends and decided that he would rather be with us than fight. Everyday, he asked me if I could come teach for his class and got sad when I had to remind him that I had to go teach somewhere else. He held my hand, gave me hugs, and cuddled with me whenever he got the chance (this kid was the polar opposite of all of this at the beginning).
The last day of ministry (yesterday), I held back tears all day. And when I finally had to say goodbye to him at final recess, I cried uncontrollably. He understood what was going on, but didn’t know what to do (he gave me a big hug though). His birthday is next week, so I got him an early birthday present – a neon bouncy soccer ball and some candy. I gave it to him right before I left, and he didn’t know how to react. After I left recess to go help with the after school program, I looked out the window and saw him sitting in the corner by himself, crying and holding onto the ball I gave him.
I lost it at that point. I can’t remember the last time I’ve cried that hard. The hardest part for me was not knowing specifically about his home life: like what his family is like, what his parents are like, etc. I had some ideas though – Jayden’s teeth are really bad and his parents never come to pick him up from school, just his older brother. You can’t draw a lot of conclusions from just that, but you can definitely connect some dots. I mean, a lot of kids from this school come from abusive families. So who says that this kid isn’t an exception? What if this kid is suffering at home and school is the only thing he has to look forward to? I mean, what if the ball I gave him gets him in trouble with his parents? What if he doesn’t have anything to look forward to now? What if he feels like he has no family and now he’s lost all his old “fight friends” and now me, just like that?
These were the thoughts flooding my head as I saw him sitting on the playground. I’ve never felt that unsettled. The whole day I carried on with that feeling and not knowing what to do with it. I cried multiple times (I’m also crying writing this) and eventually, cried again in the bathroom of a coffee shop. I remember praying in the bathroom, “Lord I can’t do this. I want to surrender this kid to you knowing that you’re going to provide for him. But give me closure”.
The next day, we had an off day. A couple of friends and I decided to go to a coffee shop and taxied home when we were done. We had a number for a cab driver that we usually use, but when we walked outside there was a taxi driving by (which is odd, because in the part of town we were in, catching a taxi is virtually impossible). We got in and it was full of other people that needed to be dropped off first.
We started driving the opposite direction of where we’re staying (towards the slums) in order to drop the other people off. As we started driving, I just got this weird feeling that I needed to look out the window for Jayden. We turned a corner that turns onto the road where the school is, and when we turned the corner, I felt like I needed to turn around and look behind me. Jayden was there. Walking home from school with his older brother, holding his hand. And with his older brother, his dad. They were all running through the streets, laughing and playing tag. Jayden had the biggest smile on his face and had never looked happier.
What. Are. The. Odds. I mean come on. What are the odds. I catch that taxi, in that part of town, with those people in it, who need to go to that part of Jeffry’s bay, at the specific time where Jayden is walking on that specific street, at that specific time. And his dad, who I’ve never seen before, just happened to be with him that day. What are the odds.
But they weren’t odds. That was the Lord orchestrating a direct answer to prayer. I can move on now and whole heartedly say “God, this kid is YOURS. I know you’re going to provide for him and make his future beautiful just as you have made him beautiful.” The Lord gave me direct closure. Less that 24 hours later. I mean come on.
I can’t explain why I have a passion for this kid. I can’t tell you why I’ve cried so much. I can’t explain why this is so painful and why this has been one of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever had to say. I don’t know where this all started. But what I can say is that the Lord hand picked this kid for me. He gave me compassion, he gave me supernatural love, he gave me energy, he gave me intentionality. None of this is from me. I mean I’ve loved kids before, but nothing like this. I can’t explain it.
This is probably the longest blog I’ve ever written. But I can’t write about Jeffrys Bay if I don’t write about ministry, and I can’t write about ministry without writing about Jayden, and I can’t write about Jayden without writing about that experience I had… there’s a lot that I feel like I just need to shove into one giant blog. Cause they all tie in together. Sorry this is so long.
We leave Jeffry’s Bay tomorrow. Time absolutely flew. It blows my mind. But Africa he’s been so awesome and it tops the rest so far – super excited to see what’s in store for these next few months though.
Thank you for all the prayers and support!! I’ve been doing so awesome (especially this past month) and I am just so overwhelmed – in the best way.
Pray for Jayden. Pray for all the kids in this community. Pray for Ithemba and for prosperity. Pray for our team as we head to Thailand. Thank you!!
God is good!
