Every morning I wake up at 5:30am to get ready for ministry. Breakfast is at 6:30am. Devotions are at 7:00am. Bus leaves at 7:45am. The mornings are quick and can feel like they last 10 minutes sometimes. They’re heavy in routine, busy, loud, and often stressful.
Around 7:30am, My team of 8 and I get on a bus along with two other teams and drive out about an hour to La Carpio, Costa Rica. Our team is dropped off and we arrive at our ministry site greeted by our hosts and kids running around with smiles on their faces. At 9:00am, several women, teens and children show up eager to start the day. We get to serve these people and love on them until about 1pm – we play with kids, minister to the women and teens, serve them food, and above all, share the love of Jesus. After our program ends, our team waits a few hours for our bus to arrive, drives three hours (traffic & waiting for other teams doesn’t exactly make our commute quick), and get home at about 7:00pm.
My first week of ministry was hard. It was really hard. And I would be lying if I said it wasn’t still hard. I had this idea painted in my mind of what ministry would look like – organized, fulfilling, busy, life-changing… the list goes on. So when the first day came and my expectations weren’t met, I was frustrated. I was frustrated with the language barrier, disorganization, things not going as planned, not feeling needed, feeling like my job was useless, physical exhaustion, emotional exhaustion, transportation… again, the list goes on. From the fist day, I struggled with ministry feeling like a 9-5. It felt like I just replaced school with ministry and that I wasn’t actually growing with something that felt so heavy in routine. I was filled with so much anger and impatience when I learned I would be sitting on a bus for over 4 hours a day. I was filled with jealousy when I learned other teams were getting home earlier than us, didn’t have ministry as far away as us and seemed to be enjoying their ministries more than us. From day one, I struggled with comparison, impatience, frustration, ungratefulness, jealousy, negativity… once again, the list goes on.
Thank God for community though. Living with 50 other people can be hard; but at the core of everything, they love you and keep you accountable. After our first day and we were all upset and frustrated, a few girls from our team encouraged us to turn to the Lord instead of dwelling in our negativity and frustration. The community I’m surrounded with helps me everyday with my walk with Christ. Prayer for ministry no longer looked like “God help this ministry and make it less chaotic”, (which YES, I prayed those exact words at one point lol) but “God, change my heart. Teach me to find joy in the exhaustion and discomfort. Take away my impatience. Take away my expectations completely”.
As someone who struggles with negativity, choosing optimism in hard situations is definitely a learning process. But even in just three weeks, God has shown me so much and has revealed himself in so many ways. I see him in the community I live in, the kids I get to love on, the city I get to live in; I see him in the nature that surrounds me, the healing he’s done and the blessings he’s given me – But most of all, I see him in the four hour bus rides. I see him in a ministry that pushes me constantly. I see him in 12 hour ministry days and weeks of physical exhaustion where I feel like I have nothing left. I see God in these things the most because these are the things that He’s taught me to love despite the circumstances. I’ve learned you can not only withstand a three hour bus ride, but you can enjoy it. You can not only withstand a challenging ministry, but you can fall in love with it. You can not only avoid being drained from long days, but you can come home energized, eager for more. Because of the accountability and community I’ve been blessed with, I can reflect on my first week of ministry and almost laugh. These people I get to live with and serve alongside with have opened my eyes to so many new things about me, the people around me and most importantly, my relationship with the Lord.
Working with kids all day is not easy but God has been teaching me to find the joy in it – constantly! Where I was once frustrated when kids weren’t listening, I’m learning to take a step back, consider a new perspective, and have sympathy for them instead (considering their backgrounds and where they’re coming from). When I’m feeling drained, I’m learning to lean into Him instead of my own comforts and desires. And when I’m impatient, I’m learning to lean into prayer instead of my anger.
Before the race, someone’s biggest advice to me was essentially that these 9 months are what you make of it. That you can so easily go through the motions, coast through it and never be changed, and that it’s up to you to get what you want out of it. And man, that is so true!! Props to the World Race for really knowing how to wreck you and build you back up in just three weeks. lol.
If this whole thing sounds negative or that I’m unhappy or dissatisfied with my ministry, that is absolutely not the case. I have grown more in these past few weeks than I probably have in these past few years. I’m so thankful for being given the opportunity to work with a ministry that challenges me so much. I honestly wouldn’t trade it for anything and I’m having so much fun! Our program is thriving and more people are joining everyday. The Nicaraguans absolutely love the program and they have so much love to give – especially the kids. The stories these people are coming in with are incredible and heart-wrenching. It’s such an honor to work with such strong people and share the love of Jesus with them.
For these next two months, our team of 8 will be continuing to work at the same ministry Tuesdays-Fridays. Two other girls and I are still working with the kids and loving on them all day. I am SO excited for what these last couple of months have in store.
Life here in Costa Rica has been incredible and I’m so happy. Every time I try to take a step back and count my blessings, I get overwhelmed. God is so good. He has been SO good these past few weeks. It’s already been a whole month and I’ve yet to have an allergy attack!! Super excited about that one lol.
Prayers for physical healing would be appreciated! A lot of us are sick and it spreads quickly. Prayers for Nicaragua and the crisis over there is needed too. And of course for our ministry, the program, our team and overall safety is always appreciated!
God is so good!!
