There have only been five time TIME Magazine’s cover has donned an “X”, four of which were red and one was black. The first red “X” appear on the cover on May 7, 1945 covering the face of Adolf Hitler, after his death. The second “X” and the first and only black “X” was released on August 20, 1945 covering the Rising Sun of the Japanese flag after the Pacific side of World War II was considered over. The third “X” was over the face of Suddam Hussein after his death on April 21, 2003. The fourth covering the face of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the man believe to have started ISIS, on June 19, 2006 after his death. And the most recent “X” was on May 20, 2011 covering the face of Osama bin Laden, after his death.
However, TIME Magazine released their newest cover for the year. It has a whiteish background with 2020 written on it in bold, black letters with a red “X” over 2020, the sixth “X” in TIME Magazine history.
When I saw this, I originally agreed with the cover. I thought, “Yeah, 2020 has been really hard. It deserves to be x’ed out!” But then I was reminded of what this year held. If I could mark 2020 in one word, it would be GROWTH. Despite everything that has happened this year, I have grown more in 12 months than I have in any other time period.
2020 started out this with me going to the Center for Global Action where I learned the inner depths of who I am, but more importantly who God created me to be. I also learned about how to lead people the way that Jesus lead people. I became confident that I know myself, therefore I can lead myself, which in turn allows me to feel able to lead others well.
And that lead me into the season I am in now, squad leading.
Gap Year has looked very different this year, and probably different than anyone actually thought. My squad lived in separate cohorts for two weeks. We slept in tents, used Porta Potties, and showered in a trailer for three months. We watched the majority of our sessions through a tv to help keep all the squads separate. We weren’t allowed to interact with the other squads on campus. There were so many logistical pieces constantly moving every hour that it felt like I was standing in a hurricane.
I have described this feeling to several of the people on my squad and on the leadership team. I feel like I am standing in the eye of a hurricane. I can see everything flying around me: the sessions, the walking paths, the schedule, the urgent care trips, its all the moving pieces that make the day work. It’s chaos. God has me right in the middle of it. And I feel nothing but His peace standing here. This reminds me of how I look at 2020 when I look at it on the surface. There is constant chaos and fear. But if I dive deep into all that 2020 has held, I feel and see peace despite all the chaos and fear. Because I gave Him this year and He filled it with His peace.
We can sit here and think that 2020 was horrendous and deserves to be blotted out of the history books. That is deserves to have a red “X” over it for the rest of history. But I don’t think it does. I think each of us can look back and see the small invisible changes that have happened that truly changed who we will be in the future.
The small moments when we trusted God or each other more than normal. The small moments when we had to fully put our trust in God because we didn’t know what tomorrow held. The small moments when we forgave someone else for something that we would normally harbor bitterness for. The small moments when we chose to love our brothers and sisters because they were going through a very similar situation to ourselves. All of these small moments, even if we don’t see the growth yet, are not to be diminished or dimmed. Because all things grow beneath the surface before they spring forth and produce a harvest.
I am reminded of Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” Everything thing that has happened. The good, the bad, the ugly, has all happened because God needed it to happen to fully bring about His glory.
God hasn’t put a red “X” over this year, so we shouldn’t either.
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