Have you ever stood on a cliff, ledge, surface or stood in front of door about to step into the most intense test, interview, meeting of your life? That moment right before you jump or you take the first step inside and you pause, you have a gut check with yourself. Are you ready? Once you jump or you walk in there is no turning back. In that moment you decide if you’re ready. My gut check moment came and I can say with full confidence I am ready for the World Race.
For six long weeks between training camp and launch I had endless goodbyes. Hugs, tears, coffee dates, food runs, laughs, gifts and stories shared between family, friends and myself. Launch seemed light years away and the World Race almost seemed like it wasn’t happening. I would spend time with the Lord however, the topic never seemed geared toward stepping out in obedience to Him about the race. My heart was becoming numb to my emotions so I would not have to confront them.
August 3rd rolled around and it was time. Gut check time. Time to face the two toughest goodbyes, the goodbyes of the people who helped shape me who I am, and my best friend and go-to person in life. Time to see if I could hop on a plane to Atlanta, Georgia and do this thing. I was sitting on the plane, headphones already in before the safety lecture could start. A song popped up by an artist I had recently heard live in concert. The song was “All In” by Matthew West. The lyrics broke me. My spirit answered yes. “With reckless abandon, my heart is in your hands. I surrender it all, I’m going all in.” The song encouraged me, lifted me up and gave me my gut check answer that I am ready to do this.
Goodbyes are tough. Really tough. Giving up every ounce of comfort is also tough. However, I realized I cannot truly follow God’s calling for me to follow Him if I don’t jump all in. I cannot sit on a pool floaty or hang my feet in the water claiming to fully know, understand and constantly be seeking Jesus. That’s not how it works if I want to experience all of Him. In Matthew 8:18-22 it talks about the cost of following Jesus. A man tells Jesus that he will follow him but first he must go home and bury his father. In which, Jesus replies, “Follow me, and let the dead bury the dead”. We cannot choose to come and go from the Kingdom as we please, this is a 24/7 thing. When we choose to follow God and be in His Kingdom we do it wholeheartedly. As difficult as it seems to leave things and people behind, He is a good Father and He knows exactly what He is doing. I am so thankful God gave me something, a song, to comfort me when my comforters are miles away from me.
This experience raises a good question for me to ask myself daily. If I know what I want, if I know I have talked to the Lord about it and it is His will, will I do it?
Gut check time.
Much love & many blessings,
Rach
Matthew West “All In” lyrics:
My feet are frozen on this middle ground
The water’s warm here but the fire’s gone out
I played it safe for so long the passion left
Turns out safe is just another word for regret
So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath
We’re all dying to live but we’re all scared to death
And this is the part where my head tells my heart
You should turn back around but there’s no turning back now
I’m going all in
Headfirst into the deep end
I hear You calling
And this time the fear won’t win
I’m going, I’m going all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going)
I believe that one day I will see Your kingdom come
And I wanna hear You say, “Welcome home my child, well done”
So, I step to the edge and I take a deep breath
I’m not turning back around ’cause there’s no turning back now
I’m going all in
Headfirst into the deep end
I hear You calling
And this time the fear won’t win
I’m going, I’m going all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going)
All to you Jesus, I freely give
As long as there’s breath in these lungs I will live
With reckless abandon, my heart in Your hands
I surrender it all, I’m going… (I’m going all in)
(I’m going, I’m going all in)
I’m going all in
Headfirst into the deep end
I hear You calling
And this time the fear won’t win
I’m going, I’m going all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going…) all in
(I’m going, I’m going)
