She sat so still. She almost looked like a mannequin. The only movement I saw was her hair moving because of the fan blowing behind her. I couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking. What she was feeling.
I closed my eyes again and continued to pray. I thanked God that I carry the presence of the Holy Spirit with me, and that it transcends all space. I have this light with me wherever I go. I can bring it with me in the darkest and hopeless of places. I praised him for his faithfulness. I prayed for this woman. That even though she was praising something that was not the one true God, that he would reveal himself to her. I prayed that in her searching, she would find him. I prayed that his presence would saturate this place. That through their seeking of truth, they would find the truth and the life. Jesus. Yahweh. Refuge. Fortress. Rock. Shelter. Strength.
I peeked through my eyelids again. Three young men had walked in and began kneeling and bowing continuously. Tears started welling up in my eyes. I watched one of them put money in the offering box. They stood and bowed towards the golden Buddha again before leaving.
Thailand is a primarily Buddhist nation, with about 95% people who practice Buddhism. It easily intertwines with the culture, and it is apparent just about anywhere by the large amount of elaborate temples, and spirit houses in front of almost every business and home.
During our first week in Thailand, we were in Chiang Mai for the Parent Vision Trip (PVT). This is a week where the parents of racers have the opportunity to come onto the field and do ministry with their racers. There were eight of us whose parents were not able to come, and we were joined by our alumni squad leaders, Katie and Rachael. While the other racers had a full PVT schedule, we stayed in a hostel and did something Adventures in Mission calls ATL, which is short for ‘Ask the Lord.’
To put it simply, ATL is waking up every day and asking the Lord what he wants. It’s giving him full reign. It’s showing up and being his hands and feet. Logistically for us, it looked like getting up every day, praying and listening to the Lord, and then going in the direction he would lead us. Sometimes, it’s a clear vision or idea, and sometimes it’s not so clear. Sometimes, you don’t feel like you hear anything from the Lord. That’s when you partner with someone else in what the Lord has put on his/her heart.
The first day, I went with my friends Mary and Carsyn. Mary had a clear picture of going to one of the nearby Buddhist temples, and talking to people inside. There isn’t a shortage of temples in Chiang Mai. So, we started walking.
We eventually found one, and as we walked inside the concrete walls, we were waved down by a woman who volunteered there. We stood and talked with her for a while. Afterwards, we walked inside the temple.
Like most Buddhist temples, there is no shortage of detail. It is a large building with a tall ceiling with gold and red detailing everywhere. To your left and right are ornate gold pillars with intricate designs on them. You almost feel famous as you walk down the red carpet until you look up to the giant golden Buddha. It makes you feel small. Unimportant. Insignificant. Less-than. There are many other things in the front, such as smaller Buddha statues, flowers, shrines, offering boxes, etc. It’s eerily quiet. The only sounds are distant traffic noises, the sounds of fans oscillating, and people rustling about. Some of the people who come in are tourists, given away by their cameras and fanny packs, as well as their quick visit after taking it all in. Others come in and are there for a while, meditating, praying, bowing, and putting money in the offering box before leaving.
When we first walked inside, we decided to stand together and pray. We prayed for everyone that would walk in this place. We thanked the Lord for his presence in a building that was not praising or glorifying his name. Afterwards, we felt led to stay inside the temple and continue interceding for the people entering and exiting this place. One woman was not hard to miss. She was sitting off to the left side, cross-legged, meditating in front of the giant golden Buddha. She had been there since we arrived, and I swear she hadn’t moved a muscle since we’ve been there. She looked like a doll. I couldn’t stop looking at her. I was amazed at her ability to stay so still. Meditating is a huge part of Buddhism, with a goal to still the mind.
(Side note: I think we as Christians have some things to learn from this practice. The Lord calls us to be still, to wait, and to just sit in his presence, but how often do we do it? It’s a discipline I am learning to cultivate, but it is difficult with a racing mind).
“Be still and know that I am God.”
-Psalm 46:10
We have walked through many different temples throughout our time in Chiang Mai, and one thing I could not get out of my head was the thought of the Israelites building and worshipping this golden calf. When Moses delayed coming down from Mount Sinai, the people grew impatient and said, “Up, make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.” (Exodus 32:1)
The thought of people literally constructing a golden cow to then worship has always seemed silly to me. I imagined all of the Israelites getting down on their faces, worshipping this golden animal. Ever since I was little I thought: How could they forget what the Lord had done for them? Why are they so impatient waiting for the Lord to move through Moses? Why something as silly as a golden COW?
Well, I can’t answer that last question for ya, but I can say that I don’t have much room to talk because I do the same thing. And it’s just as silly when I do it; it just may not look like worshipping a cow.
We have no problem with worshipping other things. Maybe it’s alcohol, social media, pornography, sports, food, sex, our phones, movies, TV shows, music, relationships, hobbies, work, business, and anything else that we put above the Lord. It doesn’t have to be anything inherently “bad,” to be an idol. An idol can be a good thing—a good gift from the Lord. What makes it an idol is the priority we give it and the fact that we seek it and find our worth and happiness in it instead of God. It may seem silly to get on your face before a golden Buddha or cow, but we essentially get on our faces before our phones—small glass boxes that give us continual access to communication, entertainment, and organization.
God makes it pretty clear in the bible.
“You shall have no other gods before me.”
-Exodus 20:3
Idolatry isn’t limited to material things.
Tim Keller compiled four categories of which our idolatry can stem from, and I’ve found it interesting since it was first introduced to me (Shout out to Redemption Church—specifically Josh Perry!):
If you seek power, you might go after success, winning, and influence…
If you seek approval, you might go after affirmation, love, and relationships…
If you seek comfort, you might after privacy, lack of stress, and freedom…
If you seek control, you might go after self-discipline, certainty, and standards…
Sit with those for a minute. There may be one or two of them that stick out to you immediately…or maybe all of them do! It’s not something that should make you feel shame, it’s a tool to make you aware of ways you may be looking for happiness or worth outside of the Lord, and it will therefore fail you every time. Nothing on this earth can be trusted to give you complete joy, except for Him. Desiring these things also isn’t bad. Again, it’s how much you allow them to control you, your happiness, and your actions.
If you aren’t a Christian, a lot of this probably sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo to you…if you’re even still with me at this point. If you are still reading, I would challenge you to think about areas in which you find your worth. You have to find them somewhere. As humans, we are wired to find belonging, to find connection, and we are determined to find it, regardless of the cost.
You might go after power. Maybe you find your worth in success, and you keep yourself so busy so that you never have to slow down and think about things going on in your life. Maybe it’s family issues, your past, deep-seeded fears, or even thoughts about life in general. If something in your life took away from your success, where would that leave you?
Maybe you seek approval. You desire relationships and connection so much, that maybe you go after a relationship just so you have someone. Maybe in that search you find yourself watching and maybe even become addicted to pornography, something you swore you’d never do. Ironically, you feel more alone and with less connection than you did before.
Maybe you seek comfort, like me. You like things to be on your terms, and no one else’s. You like to keep things even-keeled, and with as less stress as possible. If anything lies outside of this realm of comfort that you have created for yourself, it gives you unwanted anxiety.
Maybe you want control. In a life where everything is unpredictable, you grasp at anything that you can seemingly regulate. Maybe you turn to excessively working out and controlling every piece of food that goes into your body. Maybe your house and all other surroundings have a standard of cleanliness so that your appearance doesn’t give away to any brokenness that may lie beneath.
These things will never satisfy us, and they will always fail us. Nothing on this earth is full-proof to continually gratify us and bring us joy. Only the Lord can do that. That’s the evidence of his grace. He doesn’t want us to worship things above him because he knows that they will never truly bring us true joy. He has more for us.
“It would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
-C.S. Lewis
The good news? We don’t have to hide behind these fragile, unpredictable pretenses we’ve created for ourselves. We have the God of the universe, who is a jealous God, who wants every bit of your attention and praise. With him, you won’t feel like you are just getting by. You won’t feel insecure. You will finally feel whole. The reason God doesn’t want us to have any idols before him is because he deserves all of our praise. That should be the end of the answer. But, because of his grace, he also knows that he is the only thing that can satisfy our hearts. He is the piece that we are all searching for. The piece that will finally make us feel whole.
As I sat in this temple, praying for all of the people that walked in, the Lord convicted me. He gave me a physical and tangible example of what it looks like for me to find my worth, happiness, and therefore worship anything above him. As soon as my mind made the connection to the Israelites and the golden calf, Holy Spirit gently reminded me that I am not above it. He revealed that I do the very same thing myself. That while we are in a different country overwhelmed by the amount of people worshipping something that isn’t the Lord, we aren’t much different in America. It’s just easier to hide—more socially acceptable—to worship the things we worship. It’s sneaky. It’s deceptive. We have to be on guard for what is grabbing our attention.
While Buddha sits above everyone as an example and a seemingly unattainable goal, God allows us to approach his throne boldly. Even though God is the holiest of holies, and we can’t have a relationship with him on our own accord, his sent his son Jesus. Jesus lived the perfect life we could never live and died on a cross so that if we put our faith in him we can become sons and daughters of the most high king.
Go back to the temple again, but instead picture God on the throne. As I begin to worship him, he holds out his arms like a father would welcome a child and beckons me forward to join him on the throne. I’m undeserving. I am the opposite of holy. I am a sinful, broken creature. But, when I put my faith in Jesus, that’s all the Lord sees. I am enough. I am worthy. I am a daughter. And that, my friends, is the gospel.
Regardless if any of these examples stood out to you, I hope this blog causes you to start thinking about how fragile the things of this world are, therefore pointing you back to the only thing we can put our hope in: Jesus.
If you have any questions about this, do not hesitate to message me. I would love to answer as many questions as I am able, and try to find the answers to what I do not know. I’d love to talk with you, and pray with you.
Thank you for faithfully reading my blogs and continuing to pray for me. My team and I are currently in Malaysia, which is month 10 of the race! Crazy! Pray that we would stay present and finish well, and that it would propel us into the next season. : )
