On the first day of ministry I immediately noticed her because she was clearly one of the dirtiest kids. She had dirt caked onto her and her dress was spoiled from not being able to use a bathroom. She smelled and had rocks and dirt stuck in her hair. She didn’t come up to any of us at first, she hid behind the wall and watched us for about the first 2 weeks. Finally she came out and all she wanted was to be held. She still smelled and had very dirty clothes. If I’m being honest, at first I didn’t want to hold her. I knew that the moment I picked her up the dirt that was consuming her, would soon be all over the front of me. That the urine, and whatever else, would transfer from her lap to mine. That the smell that was choking me would not leave me for hours once she made that contact. In this moment I heard Jesus say, “love like I love you” and I bent down and picked up the dirty child. Yes, all of the worries of the smells and dirt came true. I took on every unwanted thing that was caked onto her. Then I saw the most precious thing, her smile.
From that moment on I fell in love with her. The next day I came ready to do the same thing, spending time with the Lord to prepare me. I asked that He would give me a heart for this place and these children. Quickly, Milo ran into my arms and again I was dirty. I sat down inside, when the African sun was at it’s highest. She suddenly fell asleep in my arms like it was the first time she was able to rest in weeks. And that’s when the Lord broke my heart for Milo. I realized that I had been so worried about getting dirty, that I forgot that she doesn’t see this as dirty, but as life. That at the end of the day I get to take a nice, warm shower but she will most likely go to bed and wake up like this. I didn’t know what to do. So I cried. Hard. Right in the middle of ministry. The Lord was breaking my heart for the child that I truthfully didn’t want to be around the first 2 weeks of Swaziland.
I didn’t want to do nothing, so through the tears, I told my leader at the care point that we need to give her a bath and wash her clothes. I didn’t care how it was going to happen, it just needed to happen. A few days later, my Shepard (leader) set it up so that my team could go and give her a bath and wash her and her brother’s clothes.
Milo is my precious little girl. I am happy to take on the dirt and muck if that means that I get to hold her. Now she is cleaner and smells better since my team got to go give her a bath and wash her clothes. But I will love her no matter what is on her. She is my girl.
Through this the Lord told me that this is how He loves us. He is happy to take on any dirt or sin that is completely consuming us, because He loves us, and all He wants is to be close to us. Jesus will take on any smell or dirt if it means that He gets us. He truly loves us with everything He has.
Today I had to say goodbye to Milo. My 3 months is coming to an end in Swaziland. Today was the last day that I get to embrace her in my arms. The last day that I get to tell her I love her. The last day that I get to see that beautiful smile. I know I will see her in heaven one day, but right now I want to see her everyday. I will miss the girl that taught me how to love the least of these. I will miss the way she laughs when I tickle her tummy. I will miss the way she screams “chickens” when I greet her. I will miss Milo, my precious little girl.
