When you sit back and let God, he will move. He will change you. He will show his power. He will change you with his love.
About 2 weeks ago I started seeing that God was changing me. I didn’t have answers to my biggest questions of him, or at least what I thought the answers should look like, and I still don’t have those answers. But he is changing me. He’s changing the way I trust him. He’s changing the way I pray to him. He’s changing the way I believe in Him. And He’s changing the way I understand his love for me.
All of this led me into debrief with our whole squad a week ago in Thailand. I went into debrief with a fire. The fire of the Holy Spirit.
Ever since Singapore, God has been calling me in different ways to stick with him. He told me that he needs this whole 11 months to do what he has planned for it. There were many times I wanted to give up and go home. I was done. But he asked me to stick with him. So I did.
God did some amazing things at debrief. I had some necessary conversations that brought healing, clarification, and broke judgements against others. I had powerful and intimate encounters with God during our squad sessions. And he moved in our squad to lead us to spark a flame for these last three months. A flame that we need to fan into a fire together.
On the last day of debrief, I was talking with God and all the sudden he said, “You’re ready.” I did not know what he was talking about, but the Spirit told me God was talking about my growth and crucifixion.
Wait, I’m ready? No I’m not (I told God). “You said you needed the whole 11 months to do what you have planned. I can’t be ready yet. There are still 3 more months left.” But all he said was, “You’re ready”. I did not understand.
However, that night at debrief he showed me what he meant. Our squad mentor was telling us a story about how her pastor’s bible has been producing oil for a while. Crazy right? But that’s our God. That is Yahweh. That is I am.
As she was telling that story I was thinking about how I absolutely believe it. I believe in the power of my God and his ability to do literally anything. But I know there are those who do not. There are people who do not know and do not believe in the power of God.
And guess what God revealed to me? I’m scared to tell those people about his power because I’m worried what they will think about me. Wait….that was it. That was the last thing that I had not submitted to the Lord. Deep down, I’ve always let humans and what they think about me hold more worth than the power and glory of my Father in heaven, the one who holds all things in his hands.
I can have the most intimate relationship with the Lord. But if I cannot share that and the power he has in my life with others, then I don’t have purpose for this life.
Let me say that again…. I can have the most intimate relationship with the Lord. But if I cannot share that and the power he has in my life with others, then I don’t have purpose for this life.
Wow. Abba Father just subtly answered another question. What is my purpose? To know God and to make him known. One of our coaches actually taught on this at debrief, but Jesus just made it so real to me. That is what he does guys. And He’s so good at it if you make the space.
So that night I prayed with my mentor and made a commitment to pursue God without fear of what others will think of me. I will follow the Lord, whatever that means and no matter how crazy it looks.
Let’s go back. Remember how God said I was ready? He was right…of course. He always is. But I AM ready. He has prepared me and now I’m ready to put this, and everything else He has taught me, into practice for these last 3 months. It won’t be easy and I will make many mistakes. But His grace is sufficient for me.
What a cool God we get to call Father.
