Be Still…..
Guys being still is super hard for me. It has never been something I have been good at in any way. My mind is constantly going or I’m constantly doing things. Honestly sitting around and letting my emotions stir is not my favorite thing at all. If I’m constantly on the go or thinking about what I want to think about then I don’t have to process or deal with all the things the Lord could bring up. However, It also hasn’t been something that has been super pushed in my walk with the Lord. I always thought being still meant reading my bible, journaling, listening to worship music, or praying which means my mind is still going. I’m not just sitting still.
Guys the 10 days I spent at training camp I learned that being still means sitting in the Lords presence and just listening. Literally in silence and listening. Waiting for anything the Lord could say. It means taking the time to hear Him and what He wants for me and from me. It means allowing whatever emotions He wants to bring to the surface come. It means being uncomfortable and vulnerable, which I honestly hate.
God showed me that when I’m solely in His presence with nothing else on my mind except what He is saying and what He wants to do INCREDIBLE THINGS HAPPEN. He showed me that feeling the things I hate to feel will allow for there to be freedom and redemption. He also showed me that I can say no to what He asks of me but that isn’t going to stop Him from continuing to show up and ask me to do the same thing again or something else. And then He proceeded to show me that saying yes isn’t as terrifying as I think it is and what the enemy puts in my head are lies to make me feel worthless, unqualified, and unloved.
But guys as I sat still in the Lords presence multiple times over the 10 days at training camp the Lord told me I was loved and I was worth dying for. And He made that clear in the things He provided me with and the ways He set me free. He asked me to say yes to the small things so that when I need to say yes to the big things I don’t run in the opposite direction.
So Papa, thank you so much for your continuous grace. Thank you for continually pursuing me when I push away. Thank you for knocking walls down and showing me just how much YOU LOVE ME. Thank you for seeking me out and having a personal relationship with me. I’m so excited to see where you take me not only through this next year but through this lifetime. I’m excited to say YES to you And I’m excited to continually sit still in your Presence.
