Month one went by wayyy too fast. Good Lord!! My month in South Africa was truly a dream. It was different than any other mission trip I’ve ever been on, given that I was in one place for a whole month. Not to mention we had the most awesome ministry hosts who made it a priority to pour into us new missionaries by hosting bible studies with us on monday mornings and blocking out time in our schedules every day for quiet time with the Lord. We partnered with a non-profit based in Johannesburg, South Africa called Impact Africa. Their organization is sectioned off into 2 ministry outlets, education and rescue. The education section consists of Impact Kids and Impact students, schools that Impact Africa planted in the squatter camps around Johannesburg. We joined them to teach in the schools and to love on the sweet sweet kids on friday mornings. The rescue section consists of evangelism & discipleship as well as their Impact Baby Rescue Centers. They have multiple outreach teams that go out into the squatter camps to do house to house ministry and weekly bible studies that build relationships with locals and lead them to local churches. The Impact Baby Rescue Centers are a prevention measure in Johannesburg to prevent baby abandonment, rescue abandoned babies, and provide life-long family care. Every day, 3 infants are abandoned on the streets of Johannesburg and Impact Africa created these centers to have a place for desperate moms to drop off their babies in safe hands instead of dumping their child in toilets, trash cans or random doorsteps. You can support them by visiting Impact Africas website and donating if you feel led to.
My team was blessed to be a part of each section of ministry for the entire month and one of our teammates has even made the decision to join Impacts Internship team in January!! PRAISE THE LORD!!
Friends and Family, The ministry from SA taught me so many things, but one thing sticks out in my mind. Without recognizing what I was doing, I was placing God in a box. I was asking God to come move through me and use me in every situation, but how can he do that if I was locking him in and throwing away the key? I was making him out to be so much smaller than he is.
I’m going to be completely transparent when I say this, I had a really hard time in the beginning of last month jumping into street evangelism for the first time. That type of ministry was completely new to me and I had so much fear engulfing my mind. The fear started to cripple my ability to let God speak through me because I wasn’t believing in his power to use me in something that was uncomfortable and new to me. I was walking the squatter camp streets thinking about all the things I was supposed to say and do in order for every conversation to be perfect without allowing the Holy Spirit to move.
I finally realized what I had been doing the whole time. I had God locked in a box that was disguised by the fear I had. I wanted complete control over every conversation and I wanted to know exactly what was going to happen without trusting that God would lead in something that was making me so uncomfortable. I was so fearful of being completely in over my head with this new ministry experience, and I wasn’t making room for God to move in and help me learn to swim.
I was getting angry at God for not giving me the right words to say in order to lead every conversation with perfection. But how could God work through me if I had him locked in a box? I was relying on myself to achieve something God and I both knew I needed Him to help me with. My worldly flesh was holding onto the fear I had and I continued to walk in fear because I wanted control over everything I was doing. I knew God was trying to move, I knew God was trying to lead me and I wasn’t allowing him. Being in over my head with street evangelism was definitely Gods way of making me so crazy uncomfortable so that I could learn that He was much bigger than the fear that I was holding onto. He knew I needed him during this time, so he did what he does best and threw me into something headfirst in order to teach me who He is again. I now know that I’m exactly where God wants me to be. I’m here on this mission trip, completely in over my head. So incredibly, beautifully, in over my head and God is leading me through it.
Lord, I thank you for South Africa. I thank you for the incredible team you have placed me on, because I know all good things come from you. Lord I pray for every single person that crossed our path last month and that your hand of protection will cover them…The sweet children we played with, the wise GoGos that we met in the squatter camps, our ministry hosts, the interns at Impact Africa. I ask you to continue to lead my team and I into completely uncomfortable situations that force us to grow alongside you. Use us in every situation Lord, we long to learn from you. God I pray for all of my supporters back home. I thank you for the financial support that was given to me and the encouraging words that I know all came from you. Thank you Lord, for leading me into this season of growth, and I ask that you continue to stretch me in every possible way. I thank you for your mercies that are new every morning and the abundant grace you have for me as I learn how to serve you in every way. Amen.
Song recommendation: In Over My Head- Jenn Johnson & Bethel Music.
