Life can really throw some curveballs.
Eight months ago, I posted my first blog announcing that I would be participating in the World Race. I sat here, excited to share how the Lord was working in my life, and thrilled to tell everyone about this amazing adventure I was about to embark on.
The World Race would provide me with the opportunity to do what I’ve always believed I was good at. Helping and loving others. I first heard about the World Race when I was in a season of my life where I felt lost. I thought I wasn’t doing enough or that I wasn’t as successful as I thought I’d be at this point in my life, and I truly believe that God answered my prayers when he placed this opportunity before me. He was showing me a life outside of my comfort zone. A life where I would trust his plans, and choose to be obedient. The bravest decision I ever made, was saying “yes” to this journey. But the hardest decision is choosing to walk away from The World Race.
I’d be lying if I said that this was an easy decision, in fact it’s a decision that I’ve been wrestling with for months now. In making this choice, I fear I’ll regret it later in life because I know chances like this don’t come around very often. I also feel shame because I’ve received so much support from family and friends whom I will never know how to repay. I feel sadness for leaving a squad whom I’ve grown to love. But most importantly I feel relief. Relieved because for months I have felt this pull to withdraw from the World Race. This trip has somehow become something I was doing to please everyone around me. To make them proud and to prove to them that I was capable of leaving everything behind. It’s not that I’m not capable, because if it came down to it and I had to, I could.
I’ve always heard that The Lord works in mysterious ways and sometimes his plans don’t make sense. I thought the World Race was exactly what I needed during that time of my life, and still believe that it was. I needed it to help put my life back together, to help me get back to my faith. Maybe that’s why it happened, to show me how to be obedient. Amongst all this, I realized I was doing this to run away from everything and that my heart was never fully in it.
Continuing with the World Race would mean I’d be starting over with my career, and some opportunities wouldn’t be waiting for me when I returned. I have to look at the bigger picture, my life in the grand scheme of things. Sure, the World Race would’ve been an incredible, life changing experience where I could serve the Lord in so many ways. i wholeheartedly believe I’m still meant to serve, which is why i have chosen to switch to a shorter trip through Adventures in Missions. Towards the end of September i will be serving the people of Morocco for three weeks.
Before deciding to apply for the World Race you may have recalled my first blog post. Where I describe my feelings and standing in a parking garage. Then, I felt alone, I was surrounded by many friends daily, but felt lost and alone. That was then. Throughout this journey I’ve become aware of the many people who support me.
Who are there for me.
Who care.
Who love me.
Maybe that’s what God was showing me. There are so many people who stay updated with my life, pray for me, and support me from afar. People who have donated and supported me whom I didn’t think even followed my life journey. I know now, I’m not alone.
Thank you. Thank you to everyone who graciously donated towards my trip. I’m humbled by the amount of support I’ve received.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
Proverbs 19:21
