This past Saturday, October 28th, was the first day here Nebraska that it began feeling like fall. The air was crisp, the leaves were falling, and I was preparing my Halloween costume for an upcoming party.
While relaxing before heading to a long night at work, I decided to turn on The Adams Family to get into the Halloween spirit. It was at that moment the hard realization had set in. This was only the beginning of experiencing some of my “lasts” for nearly two years.
This would be my last Fall in Nebraska, my last American Halloween, my last Thanksgiving, and my last Christmas here in the states. My last frozen yogurt dates with my best friend, my last sleepovers with my twin sister, my last shopping days with my mom and sisters, my last laughs with my dad, and my last surprise visits from my brother. For two years.
I couldn’t help but get a little emotional realizing that next year, everything will be different. I will be different. I won’t be spending the holidays with my loved ones, as I have for the last 23 years of my life. After coming to these realizations, I was overcome with fear, and the devil whispered to me “is it worth it?”
This is the question I face everyday, could I possibly abandon everything I’ve ever known, for the unknown? I’m insane, right?
The answers? Yes, I can leave everything I know for the unknown. Yes, I’m absolutely crazy and I’m terrified. Despite the fear, I know it’s also worth it. I’m reminded everyday by my family and friends that this is the right decision. The World Race is an extraordinary experience. A chance of a lifetime.
When we fear, we have more faith in the enemy’s plan than in Gods. Too many people fail to achieve their dreams because they spend their lives living in fear. I will NOT be one of those people.
What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
I challenge you to do just one thing you’re afraid of this week, and every week after that. It doesn’t have to be leaving your life for the unknown. It can be as simple as walking into a room by yourself, holding a conversation with a stranger, or joining a gym. See how it changes your life.
Remember, you are enough. You are greater than all your fears.
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
So again, I push away my fears for another day and hold onto all those reasons I said “yes” to The World Race. God has called me to this, he has called me to serve the nations.
As for my series of “lasts” I choose to see it as a blessing, although disguised. I’ve been given a reason to enjoy every moment and every “last” I experience, to laugh a little louder, love a little harder, and be present in the moment. In a year, I won’t have those moments.
Those little things. Those little moments. They aren’t so little.
Afterall, all we have is now.
