Part of following God is to confront our past. This means forgiving and asking for forgiveness. A task that is not easy especially for people that have never seen what forgiveness looks like in their family. It’s especially not easy when we have carried bitterness and anger for so long.
That’s probably why God does it. God asks us to confront our past to remove that unnecessary burden. To remove the bitterness that enslaves us and fill us with His joy. To restore broken relationships. To push us towards our future because we can’t walk forward looking backwards.
You see a great example of this in Genesis 31 and 33.
In Genesis 31 we find Jacob leaving his uncle’s place to return to the land he was born in as God told him to do. Two chapters earlier Jacob had cheated and stolen his brother’s blessing and birthright. Last he saw his brother, he was planning to kill Jacob and his mom told him to run to his uncle.
Fast forward 20 years later, Jacob flees his uncle’s house with his family, livestock, and servants because he was afraid that, after his uncle had treated him so badly, he would kill him for leaving. Laban, his uncle, eventually catches up to him and after talking and searching through his stuff, they make peace.
In Genesis 33, Jacob is getting closer to his land. He’s scared of Esau, his brother, so he splits his family up and sends his brother gifts to calm him down the closer they get. Eventually Jacob meets up with him and they hug each other and cry. Esau tells him that he’s over it and that he didn’t need any of the gifts. He forgave him and there is peace.
God knew everything that would happen ahead of time. He knew that Esau had broken the yoke (or the chain of lack of forgiveness) and that he missed his brother. God knew that Jacob wouldn’t die and Jacob trusted Him. Even though he was scared, he trusted Him. He knew God had a plan for him and he needed to follow it, like his father and grandfather did.
Two relationships were broken when he lied and stole. Two relationships were restored when he obeyed God.
A couple of days ago God asked me to do the same. It was something that happened years ago. I thought I had already moved on, but I later realized that I never really dealt with it. After struggling for a little bit, I forgave that person.
The only way to move forward is to shake off the past. While it doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt or that your pain wasn’t important, forgiving is an essential part of being human. A happy human. It means being free of anger and pain.
It doesn’t mean that you will have a close relationship to them. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your distance, but as you start praying for that person and for God to help you forgive them, you will start loving them more and more like He does.
The same thing applies when we are the ones that did wrong to ourselves or others. We blame ourselves so much for things that have already been erased. As we pray and forgive ourselves, we will love ourselves more. The past can’t be rewritten. It matters more what you do with the cards that you’ve been dealt than the cards themselves.
I chose to forgive, to be free, in order to continue on my journey. Jacob chose to forgive and be free to continue on his journey. Esau chose to forgive and be free to continue his journey. The question now is what will you choose?
