So, my whole life I have been told that I am “wise beyond my years.” Secretly, I liked hearing this. Most of my jobs were taking care of the elderly as a CNA so I believed that was why everyone thought that. I felt I had some sort of “in”. I felt I was aware of the many lessons of life before my peers were simply because I spent most of my summers listening to these lessons from the people I took care of.
Growing up I had a few cousins my age, and like siblings do, our parents would jokingly compare us to each other. We would hear them boast about us to each other. They would talk about who spoke better English, who had better grades, who was more self sufficient ,who helped our moms more, who was smarter or had better grades in school. (Guys, we were in 1st and 2nd grade). However, like I said, I secretly enjoyed this. I liked it because I felt as if I always won. I loved to learn new things. I loved school. My mom would sit with me and teach me how to read and write Spanish after school taught me English. Clearly, I had the advantage when it came to learning. But, because of this I was considered “wiser” than one of my cousins. Did I mention that all the kids would listen in every time our parents compared us? Like I said, typical sibling rivalry .
One thing I never considered though, was how my cousin felt each time. All I cared about were the praises I received and knowing that my dad thought I was wise. You see, there is nothing wrong with a parent being proud of their daughter for being good in school. That’s awesome. I felt loved. What is wrong is for a parent to boast and compare and put someone else down. Not only that, I was slowly being filled with pride. And more importantly, I had no clue of what the true definition of wisdom was.
I was so far off from the true meaning of what it means to be wise.
At one point I remember thinking that God favored me more than he did my cousin because He made me wiser and smarter in school. God gave me a mom who would take the time to sit with me so God obviously loved me more, right? Uh… Nope.
It wasn’t until just this past week that God brought this back to mind. God does that. You see he brings up something that still needs work. Anything that he wants you to work on, he brings it right back up into your thoughts. You see, I have been working on my identity. I have been trying to find out who God says I am and who He has made me to be. Little did I know that this tiny part of my young life was playing such a huge role in who I thought I was. When people called me “wise beyond my years” I would take those words and pin them to myself. I took those words and pinned them to my identity. I took the words and thought, “They said I am, so I must be.” Now, the words are not harmful to anyone. Being wise is not a bad thing to be, but it’s not the only things I am and I knew I needed to take this to the Lord.
So, I went on a walk to do what I like to call a “heart check”. I went on a walk to talk to Jesus because I needed to figure out who I am and I needed to figure out if HE thought I was wise. I came back to our host’s home and sat down in silence with him. (If this sounds familiar to you it’s because you read my blog about who God says I am. Thank you!) As you know, God spoke to me. I wrote down what I heard.
” I am not a slave to a label that humans have created. I am wonderfully made by my father who is my creator. I am loved and I have been chosen by him specifically. If I am enough for the creator of this universe, then I am enough for the people of this Earth who are only human. I am who God made me to be. Period. I have been gifted with many gifts, like leadership, wisdom, mercy, and God has created me to be free in these gifts. I am no longer a slave to fear of what man thinks because I am an ambassador of Christ.” (whoa!)
Hearing this from God himself is so important to me. It is so important because it helped me recognize that my pride, my praises actually hurt others, it hurt my cousin. They did not make my cousin love me more, my pride did not make either one of us grow to be more like Christ.
So, this realization lead me to figure one more things out. I asked God if he thought I was wise. He answered eyes. But how? I later sat down to search for the meaning of wisdom. I searched through my bible and right in my face I opened it up to James 3, TRUE WISDOM COMES FROM GOD. I learned that I was so far away from the definition of wisdom.
” If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your hear, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, nonspiritual and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
But the wisdom from above is first of all PURE. It is also PEACE LOVING, GENTLE AT ALL TIMES, and WILLING TO YIELD TO OTHERS. It is FULL OF MERCY and it is THE FRUIT OF GOOD DEEDS. It shows NO FAVORITISM and is ALWAYS SINCERE.”
James 3: 13-17
Clearly, I was not any of this. I was not being humble. I was being boastful and that is not what God said wisdom is like. I was being selfish for loving being called wise. I was being the earthly type of wise, not heavenly. In order to grow into God’s type of wisdom I needed to practice it. Something that I was not doing. It’s important to notice that the word says, “But the wisdom from above is first of all PURE.” Pure meaning that it is clean. Free of blemishes or flaws. Free of anything that doesn’t belong. It is Peace Loving. His wisdom does not enjoy being more than or less than anyone or anything else. God’s wisdom is about being in peace with one another. Something I was not creating. I was creating division instead of peace. I was not being gentle to my cousin. I was allowing our parents to compare us to each other. I was not yielding to my cousin. I could have stopped my parents when they compared my 100% to their 90%. As if 90% was not a good enough grade. God’s wisdom calls us to have mercy. I showed no mercy to my cousin. I could have shown mercy by allowing my cousin to enjoy their good grade and not enjoyed the comparison. God tells us that his heavenly wisdom is the fruit of good deeds. What should I have done? I should have helped my cousin with getting better grades. I should have taken the time with them to practice more English and practice writing Spanish. I would have been wiser if instead I lifted my cousin and taught each other what we both learned instead of creating the division. God calls us to call each other higher and love one another. Rivalry is not what God tells us to grow. He tells us to call each other higher to be more like Christ. Christ never ever thought he was above anyone.
You see, God does call me wise. He calls all of us to be wise. He told me I have this gift. But not the Earthly type of wisdom. Because I have recognized that embracing my pride was leading me away from Christ I have learned what the true meaning of wise is. God has shown me the heavenly wisdom in his word. I now seek to be as such. Finally, James 3:18 says:
“And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap the harvest of righteousness.”
I want to pray this knowledge over all of you. (And all of you who are reading this now.) I pray that you all gain the spirit of heavenly wisdom. Not earthly wisdom, but God’s wisdom. I pray that we all begin to look more and more like Christ. Christ was so so wise. He planted seeds of peace. He reaped the harvest of righteousness, and we are called to do the same. I pray that we may all possess the only kind of wisdom this world needs, the TRUE WISDOM THAT COMES FROM GOD.
