Leaving Ethiopia was the hardest goodbye of my life. I remember after our ONE week mission trip down to L.A. where we worked in a daycare for children who’s parents worked in sweat shops. Leaving that place was so hard, even only after one week. I sobbed quietly in the back of our van all the way from the daycare on skid row to the Santa Monica Pier where our leaders (shoutout to Mark, Carol and Brad, miss and love you guys!) were treating us to a night of fun!
I remember thinking and talking to God, how in the world am I going to leave this family I’m creating when I cried a half an hour for children I only spent maybe 10 hours with?!
The week coming up to leaving, our team calls “hells week” because we were all on edge about leaving and there were many tears. I cried about three times before the final goodbye… which says a lot in its self.
The night before we left, Thursday night we brought all the children, house moms, Kitchen ladies and ministry hosts in our living room and showed them a series of videos my squad mates made and it was such a special time with our family before we left.
If you want to watch any of those videos they will be linked to my Facebook post with my blog!
It was a really sweet night. Sam, one of my squad mates is a professional photographer, he made a video introducing every child on the HOPEthipia compound. Capturing their smiles, laughs and cute little voices.
After we watched all the videos we had a dance party to their favorite song, Waving Flag.
I had been holding Roberra for the dance party and he was laughing and wiggling out of control with excitement. All I could do was hold under his armpits while he joined the party and danced his little heart away. It was one of the sweetest moments I’ve experienced, I couldn’t stop laughing with him, and every person we danced past couldn’t help but laugh along with us too.
At the end I looked over and saw his house mom crying looking at us. In that moment I realized how much she loved this little boy and how much I was going to miss her and Roberra. I walked over to her and we cried together. We couldn’t communicate through language but we could communicate through love. I only knew that woman for about a month but in that time we shared so many moments smiling and laughing with Roberra.
One day that little boy just decided to love me more than any child has ever loved me. Every time he saw me his whole face would light up into this huge smile and his little body would dance. He also decided he was going to cry very hard every time I left him so I truly understand what moms and dads have to go through dropping their little ones at daycare and Sunday school. It’s sad. I felt so bad every time I had to leave him but then like a wiped memory I would come back and we would spend time together laughing and smiling.
It really reminds me of our relationship with our Father. The incredible joy when we decide to spend time with him and the complete heartbreak when we walk away from the only one who can give us true fulfillment. Thank you Roberra for your sweet love. I cherished every moment and I will always remember the way God touched my heart through your smile. I pray healing over your body. I pray you will walk, even better, you will run one day in the name of JESUS. Amen.
After that special moment with Roberra’s house mom I gave him to her and I gave a LOT of hugs to kiddos, ministry hosts, squadmates, it was a hug fest!
Then, headed down to house 5, my home. Getting the kids ready for bed one last time. Getting my toothpaste and helping each of them brush their teeth. Making weird faces with Dereche as he brushed all his tiny little teeth. Grabbing my face wash, giving each of them a little bit and myself. Laughing at each other because of all the white face wash against all of our faces, they thought it was so much fun! Washing our feet, going to the bathroom and into bed. I love saying goodnight to them. It was such a special bonding moment with my own parents growing up and I’m thankful for those moments because I now got to do that to four little darlings. I usually grab Raboo (Roberra) and we all pray. It’s one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. They all clench their fists and pray SO HARD. Child like faith. So passionately praying to our Abba that it makes us clench our fists. I love it. It’s also a time where I intercede for each child. Then, my favorite part of my whole day. The hugs and kisses from each child, especially Badasa. He has to kiss every part of my face and say a dozen I love yous before he’s content with saying goodnight.
My leaders had been stressing to us for weeks to make sure the kids knew we were leaving so, I spent about an hour in their room. Laying in one of their beds with all of them snuggling with me trying to communicate that I was leaving the next day. The two older ones finally got it and were crying, it was so heartbreaking. These four little children who had become my own, the ones I woke up every morning and went to bed every night with. The four little humans I brushed my teeth with, said I love you to each other every chance we got and giggled uncontrollably, especially Mesko. I have a video of her laugh on my Instagram, it is my favorite laugh in the whole world. I was thankful there were tears, it meant something monumental was happening and I was able to hug my kiddos tightly and rejoice in the time God had given us.
Finished putting them to bed and came outside where Ruut was hosting a coffee ceremony. I quickly laid out everything for the house moms I wanted to give them before I left. Then, started to help Ruut.
When each of them came in the door I gave them a Polaroid picture of the two of us, a letter and a piece of clothing. Something I noticed over my three months is sometimes they would wear very raggedy clothes so I decided to give them mine, I had too many anyways. Raboo was there so I held him the whole time and they all told me to bring him with me to America because he gets so happy around me, I wish that was a reality but he was about to grow up in a beautiful, loving and Christ filled community with a mother whom loves him.
It ended. Gave lots of hugs and went to bed. The last time as I climbed into my sleeping bag next to Ruut. The final time we said goodnight and I love you before passing out. The last time she snuggled her head on my shoulder.
I Woke up early and went to morning worship and Ruut went to the kitchen.
Had breakfast for the last time and team breakfast for the last time in Ethiopia.
Headed down to House 5 for the last time after breakfast. For the last time, helped them get ready for the day and helped them with all of their house chores. Last time making and eating (nibbling) breakfast with all of them.
After we all finished cleaning up breakfast I had to go clean and pack up Wakanda.
It was so much fun with all the guys and with all of us. Going through our things, playing music, and cleaning up the house.
That morning I also got my head picked for lice one last time I was LICE FREEEE! Perfect timing. Only problem was Ethiopians don’t actually have lice treatment so we used this incredibly thick and greasy coconut oil which takes DAYS to come out of your hair. I tried to take a shower and get it out but there was no luck…. I had Ruut braid my hair for the last time and that was it, greasy hair for travel day!
When I was in her room, many people came in to say goodbye. Then, I gave her mine, a letter which I told her to have Magersa translate later once I had left, something she could hold onto and our Polaroid picture. I have so many pictures of Ruut and I but she had none so I taped it right above her head next to my letter so every night before she goes to bed she can be reminded that she has a sister out there praying and thinking about her.
There was almost this deep sorrow in my heart that was starting to come to surface as the goodbye was coming closer.
I don’t even remember what triggered the crying but one moment Ruut and I were sitting next to each on the bed, my head on her shoulder looking through photos, the next she was sobbing. Quiet, heartbreaking sobs and I lost it, I lost it so hard I didn’t think I would ever stop.
We sat there holding each other, sobbing. I don’t know how long we were like that but I could hear people shuffling in and out of the room but I didn’t care. All I knew was I never wanted to let go of her. I also was overwhelmed with the feelings she was feeling. Terrified that this was going to wreck her more than me, how easy it is to leave rather than to stay and I found myself praying for her.
One of the ministry hosts came in and she sat down next to us and immediately started to cry just looking at us. She kept telling me to quit it, “stop crying, please Margee, stop crying”. But I couldn’t. Neither of us could. Then Doggie told me the children were leaving for school and my heart broke just by those words more than I think it ever has.
I turned to Ruut gave her a giant hug and said, “I need to say goodbye to the kids, I’ll be back”. Both of us still crying. When I came out of Ruut’s room there were so many people in and around the house. I think prior to Ethiopia I would have tried to hide my tears but I loved these humans too much to even try so I stood there sobbing.
I went into the kids room. They all had their school uniforms on and they all saw that I was crying and tackled me with hugs, which made me cry harder. Meskerem kept asking me what was wrong and I realized in that moment that they didn’t understand. They didn’t understand this was the last time and that killed me. My thoughts went straight to them coming back from school and looking for us, for me. Waiting for their goodnight kisses and someone to sing them to sleep. I felt like I was abandoning my children.
After that terrible thought process I took each of them to their Polaroids taped on the walls by each of their beds. “If you ever miss me look at this and remember how much I love you and how much God loves you”. More hugs. More kisses. More tears.
As I walked outside with Arassa holding my hand I was still full on crying, tears dripping off my face and onto the ground. Badasa turns to me, I kneel down to his level and he wipes the tears from my eyes. “It’s okay Margee, it’s okay”, then I hugged him so hard and said, “I know, I know”.
Then we started walking towards the entrance to the compound where we were sending them off to school. This was the last moment I had with them, maybe on this earth. I know I am a very enthusiastic writer but I can without a doubt say I have never cried harder than in that moment.
Saying goodbye to Meskerem, Arassa, Badasa, Dawit (who else leaves with them?)
Walking back with the group of us who had said goodbye was really quiet and mostly was consumed of us fervently waving back at them as they went up the dirt road to the main part of the village.
I went back inside and Ruut had gotten herself together and she brought me to a coffee ceremony. We laughed. Took pictures. It felt like any other day.
Then others came and said I had missed lunch, oops! So I actually had to run up to the house to drop off all my belongings and try and find some food.
By the time I had found something people started the goodbyes of leaving. So many tears. By the time I had finished hugging everyone the house moms had walked up to say goodbye. We all stood in a circle and prayed one last time.
After we finished I looked over and the older Meskerem who was practically Jaynna’s child was straight up sobbing and I lost it all over again. Hugging Ruut for the last time and getting on that bus sobbing. I was sitting at the back of our bus so I looked back and waved at her until she was out of sight.
I don’t know how to describe how I felt on that bus but I didn’t stop crying for a good 30 minutes just listening to music. I was too sad to do anything. I just sat there.
By the time we had gotten to the airport my face was puffy and I was ready to leave. I guess crying is great for processing! God is so good too. He asked me not to talk to my parents for all three months because he knew I needed something to look forward to at that airport. Calling my mom and getting to cry all over again but in a different way.
Ethiopia is an incredible country with incredibly kind people.
I pray He brings me back but if not it was a trip I’ll never forget. ??
ADOPT A MONTH!
SEPTEMBER (TAKEN!!! YAYAYA!!!!!)
OCTOBER (TAKEN!!!!! WAAHOOOOOO)
NOVEMBER (TAKENNNNNN!!!)
DECEMBER (taken!!! Whoop whoop!!)
JANUARY (taken!! THANK YOU!!!)
FEBRUARY (TAKEN!!!!!!!)
MARCH (NEEDED!!!)
APRIL (NEEDED!!!!!!)
MAY 31st flying into Florida
June 3rd flying H O M E !
——————————————————————————————————————
Ways YOU can Join me on my Spiritual Journey:
1. Pray. I will need a multitude of prayers ranging from strength, wisdom, clarity, love, joy… The list goes on. Whatever your heart desires and feels right, pray. Here in Ethiopia we have a little boy at the orphanage who’s legs don’t work, pray healing over his body please!
In Nicaragua pray for jobs, most of the country is unemployed and it’s really taking a toll on families, pray for God’s provision to these people.
- SPREAD THE WORD! Tell everyone about my trip and show them my blog.
- SUBSCRIBE! When you subscribe you will get all notifications when I post on my blog about my trip and any updates!
- If you would like to donate to me still, please donate directly to me and not World Race. I AM FULLY FUNDED but I am now raising money for flights!! I need to buy 3 plane tickets for my trip home on June 3rd and for PSL which is a week long “after the race” conference in Georgia at the end of June. Thank you for everyone who has donated already, it’s been an incredible journey!
Venmo me : Marguerite-SanMartino
