Disciplined.
Authentic.
Peaceful.
Back in Costa Rica, these were the words I chose for myself…words I wanted to focus on; words I wanted someday to be said about me. After thinking them through, I thought, “Geez. That makes me sound so boring and strict…nunlike, perhaps?”
The one I disliked the most was disciplined. I thought of changing it, until one of my sweet teammates pointed out this path: discipline leads to desire, which leads to delight. Without discipline, we would never form habits that make us people who actually enjoy what we do.
In Nicaragua, the one thing that struck me was the importance, power, and purpose of prayer and fasting (click on the link to check out that blog!). But you know how sometimes you learn something really cool, and then you don’t start practicing it right away? It just sort of marinates in your mind before it reaches its full impact on your heart? That’s what happened to me with prayer.
Then in Malawi, during SQL training, we were challenged to think about our prayer life. One of the things Christians do that has the largest impact on the Kingdom and our personal relationships with Jesus is pray. With that in mind, how would I structure my time, how would I discipline myself so that prayer was a priority?
I had recently listened to a podcast by Jeff and Alyssa Bethke about their family’s ‘technology manifesto’. They unplug for an hour a day, a day a week, and a week a year. And I got to thinking…what if I fasted and prayed in the same way? How would my life transform if I could commit to fasting and prayer an hour a day, a day a week, and a week a year?
I started small – could I commit to twenty minutes of prayer and meditation before breakfast? For most of Malawi, I could. Cool.
Finally, we’re in Zambia. The teams I’m with decide we’ll fast from after dinner on Monday to dinner on Tuesday, so I commit those times to prayer – I now have my day a week, in addition to twenty minutes in the morning.
Y’all, by the end of Zambia, I loved to wake up and get my time in with the Lord. I loved to tell Him what was on my heart, to ponder His words, and listen for what Holy Spirit had to say. For the first time ever in my walk with the Lord, I had a prayer routine and I loved it. I loved to pray, and I told anyone who asked.
That would not have happened had I not pursued discipline. I needed to commit to a SMART goal, and after just a month and a half, I wasn’t just disciplined in prayer, I did not just desire to pray, but I delighted in prayer. I LOVED my time with the Lord.
What I’ve discovered is that this path isn’t just for prayer…it could be for reading the Word, serving others, even eating better or exercise. Once we’ve built good habits, eventually we can’t live without them. And I often think it can be the same with difficult relationships.
Maybe it’s a frustrating coworker or teammate, a friendship that’s become difficult with time or distance, a significant other or sibling or child…even Jesus.
When we discipline ourselves to spend time with them, to serve them, to make ourselves available to them, eventually, we desire to humble ourselves in those relationships, and we can even see ourselves delighting in time spent loving these people.
They say it takes 21 days to form a good habit – it will take a lot longer than that to form a good relationship. But I want to encourage you, both in building good habits and relationships – ask God to give you the endurance, the self-control, and He will. He longs to see reconciliation within His kingdom, between His children and within them.
I would love to hear about times when you’ve seen discipline become delight in your lives – feel free to make a comment or send an email! I’m praying that each of you gets to experience the freedom that discipline brings in your personal lives and relationships.
– ML
