nepal was probably the hardest month of my life. I got there and immediately fell in love with the vibrant culture, the unconditional family I stayed with, the lit up streets and beaming colors. But it soon turned south. I was sick in the hospital, I saw poverty, widows, orphans, people praising statues that were outwardly beautiful but inwardly would never fulfill them, I saw a man who was possessed by a demon, I spent Christmas in the jungle away from my family, I abandoned every comfort I had. All that was left was me and Jesus. Looking back, I was so angry at him. How could he let sex trafficking and demon possession happen? How could he let his children live in poverty? How could he let his chosen people be prosecuted for their faith? How could he let children be abandoned by their parents? If he is a sovereign, good God, how could he let so many bad things happen? I was left feeling hopeless, defeated, and filled with sorrow for this broken world. But as my heart was breaking, I realized he was breaking my heart for what breaks his. And in that moment I could make two choices, turn away from the Lord because of my anger, and be hopeless, or I could use this to be my reason. The reason I pray, the reason I love people so hard, the reason I go and talk to random people on the street, the reason I show people the hope of this world. But if I turned away, I’d just be giving the enemy what he wants and letting him win. I realized that God didn’t create any of this. Satan did. And yes, the Lord is still fighting. But the best part is He is always victorious. He won when He so humbly came down as a human, and took all of the brokenness up on that cross. So thank you Lord for this month. You have filled me with joy that is only of you. I left one of the most spiritually dark places even more filled with light than I was before. YOU ARE SO GOOD!!! so blessed to serve a God takes over all brokenness, sin, shame, fear, doubt, comfort, and turns it into a beautiful masterpiece.
