Hey guys!! So this is something that has been on my heart lately and something I really wanted to share. I’m honestly a little nervous to share this for many reasons. I don’t really like to tell people about what I’m going through personally, but when God puts something on your heart to share, you have to listen. I just hope and pray that God does whatever he plans to do with this post, and it inspires others to know they aren’t alone!
Anyways, I always get asked the question “so, how’s your senior year going?!” And I usually answer, “it’s good!” but honestly this semester was really hard for me. In so many aspects, academically, financially, trying my hardest to balance my job, school, swim, and sleep, but I mainly struggled socially. One of my best friends and one of the people I’m closest to moved in August, which was one of the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. It was so difficult to trust in the Lord, that he had a plan. Also, I’m going through a season of life where I don’t have many friends, and that has been hard for me, and to trust God in that as well. Senior year is supposed to be fun, and memorable and the time of your life. But for me, it hasn’t been. School is basically the same thing, over and over, and honestly quite lonely. I see everyone around me having so much fun with their friends, laughing and going out to lunch and making some incredible memories. I feel like I’ve hit a major speed bump in life. Whether it be in school, or my friendships. I feel very stagnant, like I’m not going anywhere. After many, many lunches and saturday nights alone, I finally realized the biggest speed bump I have hit, is my relationship with the Lord.
I noticed that I haven’t been talking to Him lately, I haven’t been engaged in His word, and I haven’t been going to church to learn more about Him. My relationships lately haven’t been the best, but the one that matters the most I completely ignored. I feel like I shut him out and tried to deal with the stress of school and all these other things by myself. I haven’t put in effort into Him, my best friend. That’s why I feel so stuck, because I haven’t been with Him in a while.
But, the great thing about this is, speed bumps are okay. When you’re driving, and you just want to get to where you’re going, speed bumps are so annoying. They can make you late, and it’s just a hassle to slow down sometimes. But if it weren’t for that speed bump, you’d go so fast and possibly crash. It’s okay to slow down, and take a breather before you speed up again. Speed bumps, no matter how annoying, keep you safe and put you back on track.
I feel like God does the same thing in our lives. He wants us to thrive, He wants us to go fast, He wants us to be close with Him. But, He also wants us to slow down, take a minute to step back and reflect, so we don’t “crash.” When we slow down, we might lose sight of Him, but when we are at our lowest speed, that’s where we feel Him the most. One of my high school leaders actually did a lesson about this a few weeks back. When we travel the furthest away from God, when we are at our lowest speed, when we’ve committed the most sin, that’s where salvation happens. That’s where we see His love and grace the most. We could travel so far away, but when we come back, He will welcome us with open arms. He will still choose us, He will still love us, He will still call us HIS!!!! Amen! A line from scripture says “nothing in all creation can separate us from God’s love.” Romans 8:38. What a small line, but wow is that huge. Nothing, no sin, no distance traveled, no speed bump, can separate us from Him. He died so we can run into speed bumps, He died so we can travel away, He died because He loves us so so so much!!!
He uses speed bumps so that when we finally see Him again, we can go faster than we ever did before. Something that my devotional said that really stuck out to me was “Be willing to go out on a limb with me. If that’s where I’m leading you, that is the safest place to be. Your desire to live a risk free life is a form of unbelief. You are approaching a speed bump in your journey. In order to follow me wholeheartedly, you must relinquish your tendency to play it safe. Let me lead your step through this day. Eventually, you will learn to relax and enjoy our journey together.”
Through this, I have learned we can’t do anything without our God. We, as humans want to play it safe and want our days to go as smoothly as possible without any obstacles. We think that’s the safest way to go. But, God says otherwise, going the way that is risky and painful, is the safest way. If we stayed on the safe path, there would be no growth with the Lord. There would be no salvation. But, the biggest thing that we need to remember, is that we cannot get over that speed bump by ourselves. This journey called life is not yours, but His and yours. And the safest way to go is together.
Also… I have some very exciting news!!! Originally, I was only going to Swaziland, India, and Guatemala. BUT, they’ve added a country, which is Nepal! WOW praise Jesus! Nepal is such a beautiful country but one that needs so so much help and love. I know the Lord will do great things in Nepal and use my squad and I in so many ways! So excited for this change of plans!!!!
Once again, thank you for everyone’s support! I’m so thankful for each and every one of you!
