Yahweh’s love is incomprehensible, undeniable, unconditional, all-consuming. Those are four words that come to mind.
I think the journey of following Yahweh is less like a religious practice and more of a relational walk. Everyday, you should find yourself falling more and more in love with Yahweh and discovering more and more about His love for you. If we open up to what He has to say, we will find that He is so sweet and is so ready to speak.
During this season of my life, I have struggled with feeling like I belong here (abroad doing mission work). I felt unfit to be an ambassador for Christ based off of my past and my sins. I know that Yahweh is the one that equips us, but I couldn’t shake that shame. One Monday afternoon, I sat outside with my bible and said “alright God, I need you to speak to me about this.” I wanted to give Yahweh room to speak to me so I tried something new and completely out of my control. I closed my bible, ran my fingers over the pages and opened it to wherever my thumb stopped. It opened to the last section of Amos 9. I have never read Amos so I was like “Uh, Yahweh? What could I possibly gain from this?” But I looked down anyways and saw the title. “Israel’s Restoration”… Then I made a connection: I am like Israel. Yes, that same nation He delivered from Egypt. The same nation that walked through the Red Sea completely dry. The same nation He sustained in the wilderness for 40 years. Yes, like that very nation, I am rebellious and unfaithful even though He remains steadfast and faithful. Yet, because of His unfailing covenant love, He restores me still.
? Restoration is the action of returning something (or someone) to its former owner, place or condition.
Thank you, Yahweh! He restores me to how he created me to be, before the shame, before my sin.
Later that night, I found myself extremely emotional, sitting in the light of a few headlamps, still in the dark, with two teammates. We flipped through scripture looking for comfort and words of truth, I was trying to find Psalms and accidentally opened to Jeremiah 30-31. Looking down, I saw that the entire two chapters were on the restoration of Israel (but in further detail than Amos). I don’t believe in coincidence, I believe in God and His sovereignty. So I knew Yahweh was trying to teach me something. It was an entire poem about how God will come down to rescue and restore them despite their disobedience. In Jeremiah, Israel is no longer called “the rebellious nation” but rather “Virgin Israel”. The significance of that is the fact that they are seen as “adulterous/unfaithful” in God’s sight, but after His love and compassion overlooks their rebellion, He restores them to the “virgin” Israel that sought after Him and loved Him alone before abandoning Him. How beautiful?! The entire poem was God pretty much (paraphrased by me) saying “Why have you been unfaithful? Look at all I have done for you. Don’t you know that you’ll suffer because of your disobedience? While it breaks my heart and makes me so angry to watch you rebel, I still love you without end. I can’t let my people be separated from me any longer and I can’t watch you suffer alone. I will heal what cannot be healed. I will fix what cannot be fixed. I will restore you anyways. I will love you anyways. I will be faithful anyways.” I was trying to wrap my head around this. Once again, I am reminded that I am Israel. I am restored. I am His.
The next day. I was in the prayer garden hoping to hear from God again. I decided “if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it”… so I closed my Bible again, ran my finger over it and opened to Ezekiel 36. Guess what the title was?! “Israel’s Restoration Assured.” I smiled at Yahweh. That was so sweet. It was exactly what I needed.
BUT IT GETS BETTER!
Exactly seven days later. Yahweh sends me yet another reminder.
(Before going into that, here is a little tangent)… Seven is an emphasized number in the Bible. It signifies completion. Yahweh Elohim created the world and everything in it in six days, and on the seventh He rested, signifying that He was completed and satisfied. There are many other examples of how the number seven is used to show completion, but this blog isn’t about that so I will leave it for another time or for you to look up yourself.
So seven days later… I was having some quiet time and stumbled on the book of Hosea. Hosea is a prophet who married a prostitute because God told him to. Why? Well Hosea’s journey in his marriage to a prostitute is an illustration and a parallel to God and His people. (Specifically the Israelites, but they represent us too.) Yahweh has a covenant love for His people. Like marriage, He has “bound” himself to us forever, promising to love us. So He is represented through Hosea in this sense. We are like the prostitute in the story, Gomer. We constantly betray Yahweh. We are unfaithful. Yet He remains faithful. Hosea looks at Gomer and says (again, paraphrased and modernized by me) “I don’t care that you have been unfaithful. I don’t care that you have been with another. Just leave that behind. I love you; return to me.” That is what God says to His nation of Israel (us). He “longs to redeem us” (Hosea 7:13).
As I reach the end of this book (which I read in one sitting because it is just soooo good). I stumble upon one verse that stood out so much that I dropped everything. I highlighted this verse, drew next to it, started journaling, and told everyone around me.
Hosea 14:5 “I will be like the dew to Israel; he (Israel) will blossom like a lily.”
My thoughts? “AHHHHHHHH!”
This whole time, I was comparing myself to Israel and how God will restore me despite my rebellion. I kept thinking, “Wow, He will redeem me, love me, and use me even though I don’t deserve it at all!” While that is true, Yahweh took it a step further and compared Israel to a lily flower. So not only has He restore me, but I will blossom and thrive like a flower! It is even better that He used a lily flower. Of all the flowers or all the plants that Yahweh could’ve compared to Israel, a lily was His choice. I am completely at a loss for words. How beautiful and pure is Yahweh’s love for us that He would do all of that just to remind one person that He is making them new?
In Amos, I found a promise of restoration. In Jeremiah, I found comfort in the fact that I am restored. In Ezekiel, I found fulfillment and assurance of that restoration. Then in Hosea, I saw the aftermath and finalization of Israel after they have been restored. It came around full circle. I saw the completion of His promise and evidence of His presence. How is it even possible to explain that I opened to all four accounts of the same story, all in a specific order that made it all tie together (like I mentioned above), while I have never read any of those books all the way through (so I didn’t turn to them with the knowledge of that passage)? Other than Yahweh working, there is no explanation. Chance doesn’t make sense of that. It was so sweet.
Yahweh wants everyone to experience Him in a powerful way. He wants all of His people to sit with Him and trust that He will move. Yahweh desires to speak into your life in such a powerful way that you get goosebumps, your heart beats super fast, and you have no ability to keep it to yourself, so much so that you just have to go as far as to write a blog.
So this is my story… I encourage you to allow God to write your own.
(NOW FOR THE FUNNY STORY!) yay 🙂
“Lilly’s Day”
It is cold and rainy day here in ESwatini. I borrowed a maxi skirt from Gillian. As i put it on, the end got stuck in my underwear so… let’s just say… I was WAY out of dress-code. Then, after I fixed it, Liz noticed that it was inside-out. I laughed and said, YAY. “It’s Lilly’s day!” Fast forward a few hours, we are about to have a teaching. I realize that I have a strong craving for apples and honey, so I get up and rush to the room to grab some and return before the teaching begins. I grab everything I need and I speed walk out the door as Gillian’s maxi skirt flaps in the wind. I am dodging puddles and trying to stay steady as I walk quickly. I step over a puddle and lose my footing. And you already know… I ate it. I fell right smack on to my butt. I attempted to gather my pride… and the skirt… to peak my head into the common room and let leadership know I will be late to the meeting. They aren’t even mad, they giggle at the literal mess that I am. I go back to the room and take off Gillian’s maxi skirt, throwing it into the sink. I look down, to my dismay, and see both of my legs entirely covered in mud. I try to wash the mud out of the skirt while also washing my legs, it is sucky. I thought “eh this is manageable” but it gets better. And by better, I mean worse. THE WATER STOPS WORKING. This normally happens every other day if not every night, but right now?!?! In the middle of the (late) afternoon, REALLY?! I stop everything and waddle into the room to find baby wipes. I am out. Yep. It is my day. Julie and I have “face water” because we break out using the tap water (by the way). I grab our filtered, bottled, “face-water” and stand in the shower while pouring it all over myself. I grab the maxi skirt and lay it out in the rain to wash but it was now just sprinkling. Then I change into jeans and tip-toe carefully back to the common room to a teaching that I am now SUPER late to. Everyone chuckles as I creep in (I walked in the front of the speaker so it wasn’t really creeping tbh).
As I sat down, I saw this note on my iPad from the people at my table (who were judging me for being late):
Hello Lillian, this is your conscience. Ive been meaning to talk to you but you’ve been ignoring me.
WHY!?
WHY!?
WHY!?
Sorry about that… its the regret of not being loved………..how is your heart. Wait don’t answer that I forgot… I’m you. Anyways remember in finding Nemo when they think the angler fish is their conscience? This is kinda like that. Except I’m not gonna try to eat you. Fish are friends not food. Anyways I’m kind of a rambling figment so dont mind me. Anyways lets get down to the real reason I’m talking to you. I just really wanted to let you know that…. waittttttttt where’s dory????
Dory is gone. She wont be coming back. Just like you wont come back to me………….
Bye
Bye
Bye.
-Gillian, Nate, Grace, Carrie Grace, Sam T.
