Once again, I am a little late writing this blog post. Training camp was over a month ago, and I was so set on cranking another post out within a week of it ending. As you can see, that didn’t happen…but I like to believe that the Lord has the best timing.
On July 10thI headed to Gainesville, Georgia for training camp. I could write a whole post about my daily life there, or what it was like to take bucket showers and eat crazy food for 10 days. But honestly, I would rather write about what the Lord taught me in that time. If you really want to know the awesome details of training camp life, feel free to ask me any questions via this blog or social media or in the grocery store or wherever else we might meet. Also, my squad mates have written some blogs as well that you can check out on this site. But for now, I’m going to write about what I want to write about, well, because it’s my blog 🙂
I learned soooooo much at TC (training camp). I know my high school English teachers would be disappointed at the fact that I’m using “so much” as a way to describe something, but I really don’t know how else to do it. Each day was packed full of messages from incredible speakers, and I learned more in those 10 days than I probably have in 10 months.
So, let’s jump right in…
I got the title for this blog post from a sermon I heard in Fairhope, Alabama the Sunday after TC ended. The pastor was talking about altars, and how the altars in our lives are moments where God meets us just at the right time, with just the right message. But, sometimes the things he tells us in these moments, are not necessarily new information. He may bring us back to a point in our lives that we have been before. The pastor concluded, “When God brings us back to the same place, we aren’t going in circles, but like a parking garage we are going up a level.”
Mind Blown. Such a good metaphor right (or symbol…analogy maybe?…again, sorry English teachers). We will never come to a point where we know everything about a certain aspect of God. That is so exciting to me! There is always something new to learn, even if it’s a topic we’ve studied a thousand times.
If you’ve read my last blog post about freedom, you know the Lord taught me some HUGE things about what it means to live out in the freedom of the father earlier this year. I thought I had that concept checked off my spiritual to-do list like it was some chapter of a textbook that I had learned. I figured I understood it and could move on in my relationship with the Lord. So, you can understand why I was so confused when at training camp, Jesus brought me back to this place of grasping true freedom. I was like “yo Jesus remember in January when I had this big encounter and then I was free and I thought we got that so can I learn something new this week plz?”. But like the parking garage, I wasn’t just going in a circle, he was taking me up a level. There was a whole level of freedom I didn’t even understand yet.
I realized at TC, that for years, I had been trying to live freely while simultaneously worrying about if I was doing everything right in my relationship with the Father. I don’t really know how to explain this other than using examples, but maybe some of you can relate to these feelings. It’s like during worship, instead of just simply praising Jesus, I was in my head worrying about why I didn’t “feel” the presence of God. And then I would start worrying about why my mind was wandering and how I should re-focus it. What was I doing to feel so distant from God? I knew so many truths about God, so why couldn’t I believe them? I should be better than this. What did I need to change? Why couldn’t I change? What if I missed what God was saying to me? So. Many. Worries.
Then at training camp, I finally grasped what God had been trying to say to me all along.
Stop. Just be still, my child. I love you and I see your heart. I’m right here and I will never hide from you. The pressure is off.
Wow. Talk about taking it to another level. I also heard this next quote that was too good not to share…
The number one thing that separates us from God, is the illusion that we are separate from God.
I’d been waiting years to hear that.
That was so true for me. I believed that there was some big divide I had to overcome, maybe by reading my bible more or clearing my mind in order to have full access to the spirit of God. But that was such a lie. There is nothing I could ever do to separate myself from his presence. The Holy Spirit doesn’t have visitation rights. He is a 24/7 resident in my heart. I can’t get any closer. There is NO separation.
The Holy Spirit comes alongside me in partnership, to help guide my steps. He is a helper and a friend. So much peace comes from knowing that. It allows me to rest in him and fully enjoy taking on this next adventure. I know he is right beside me, even when it seems as if I’m in over my head. All I have to do is recognize and take advantage of this full access pass. I just have to be open to what he is saying and where he is leading. All it takes is a yes in my spirit, and he will move in amazing ways.
When I stopped focusing on how to access more of the father and started acknowledging the access I already had, I began finding more joy in just being with him. I became more excited to get alone with God and listen to him speak. He has so much to say if we will only take the time to slow down and wait for him. He will come through. Believe it.
Reminder: Everyone’s relationship with God is unique. We are his children, and he created us in his image. This means God is going to speak to us in different ways, about different things. Comparison is not of God, so don’t ever waste your time comparing your relationship to someone else’s. How exciting is it that God loves and knows us so intimately that he is willing to speak to us in so many unique ways?!
So, that’s just a glimpse of what I learned those 10 days in the woods of Georgia. If you only get one thing from this blog, I hope it’s that you have a loving father, who has sent his spirit to be with you always. Not just on worship nights, or at summer camp, or when your eyes are closed. The Holy Spirit is part of you, just stop striving and live in this freedom.
Thanks for reading 🙂
