“Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple… In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” Luke 14: 27 & 33
I have been praying about goals and expectations to set for myself during this gap year. God continues to lay the desire on my heart to be challenged and sharpened, I do not want an easy 9 months. My desire is to transform and experience more of the abundant life God has in store for me. With growth comes surrender and releasing things that will be painful, but when we let go of good things He will bring greater things to establish the Kingdom. He knows what He has asked me to leave behind and release, He knows the pain it brings— He allowed His only son to bleed and die so that something greater would happen: so that countless more sons and daughters would come to life. I can rest easy knowing He has endured sacrifice for something greater. He is worth the sacrifice and pain because something greater is promised (Mark 10: 29-31).
I leave Wednesday for Swaziland, South Africa where I will be living for 3 months. The World Race is not a life stage, it is life and I know God is commanding me with love to steward my time well, cultivate new habits, and re-learn things that have become toxic in my mind.
I will be reading through the Bible chronologically in these nine months and I am so expectant to see how the Lord reveals newness in His word through seeing it in an actual timeline.
I plan to create the habit of working out/being active daily (minus Sabbath). So watch out, Jr Floss will come back with some major gainz n’ glory (@ Lauren Harp).
God has told me to invest in renewing and restoring my view of marriage and relationships through these months.I have adapted negative connotations and twisted lies about what this holy picture of Jesus and Church is supposed to be. I cannot wait to watch Him heal lies I believe of something meant to bring Kingdom, I am so so ready to be renewed in this. Even if God does not have marriage in store for me, I believe I am still called to view intended holiness as holy.
I was given a word a week before I headed to Launch that I would be a light in darkness and that darkness could not overtake me because the source is indistinguishable. She (Lydia) said that God would grow me in spiritual gifting(s) and use me as a vessel for things I never dreamed— and that I would be able to come back and teach people what He gave to me. And no coincidence, I have been praying and meditating on wanting to become wise in spiritual gifting and more discerning through it— confirmation or what?
I long to be sharpened in communication with my team, fighting for them even when it’s easier not to, casting out satan’s attempts to dismantle peace with my authority in Jesus, growth in giving grace, in releasing “control”, in encouraging with love and patience, and learning how to love (be devoted) anyone I meet— not by my feeble power but with the constant realization that without my God I can do nothing.
Apart from Him I can do nothing, and He has asked me to be willing to lay down everything, so that I can gain everything. Pain and suffering are inevitable but He endures it for something more, and so will I. I must come to a place where I have no limits on God, if He brings the dead to life, the blind to see, why would I ever expect anything less?
