Message #2: He knows when you’re holding back
In the book of Acts, chapter 5, there’s a story about a marred couple, Ananias and Sapphira, that I think represents a roadblock a lot of christians face in their walk when they want the full measure of blessings from God but only put forth a partial measure of the obedience God is asking of them.
Ananias and Sapphira were a part of a community of believers that were truly unified through their faith in Jesus. The Bible describes this community as being “one in heart and mind.” Peter (the guy who walked on water with Jesus) alongside the other apostles, was a prominent leader within this community and helped to oversee how this community lived out their faith.
A way this community lived out their faith well was in the way they were selfless with their possessions and their willingness to share their belongings to those in need. They truly understood what it meant to live together as the body of Christ. At times, when people faced difficulties and challenges, believers within this community would sell land they owned or even their own houses and give the profits to those who were suffering. They believed that they were truly more blessed to give than to recieve and trusted that God would provide for them through their fellow neighbor if they were to face challenges themselves down the road.
Reading about this type of community actually reminds me a lot of the communities I encountered when in Africa. People who had so little were willing to share not only with us foreigners when we visited, but to their fellow neighbors. I remember in Botswana a woman telling us that she relied on the village she lived in for survival. If you can’t work because you’re too old or disabled, you therefore have no way of feeding your family or access to clean drinking water, and you need a neighbor who is willing to help you get these things in order to survive. There were no government programs that provide assistance, so it was the people living in the villages alongside one another that provided the aid to ensure that everyone is being taking care of to the best of their ability. It was beautiful and encouraging to see people helping people, living in unity and harmony in the way that I believe God intended it to be all along.
Let’s return back to Ananias and Sapphira. They decided that they would sell a piece of their property and give the money to the apostles to be distributed to those in need. However, they decided to keep back a part of the money for themselves before offering it. Ananias then went before Peter and gave him the remaining money. The Holy Spirit told Peter that Ananias was selfishly withholding some of the money that he had intended to be an offering to the community from selling his land. Peter then questioned Ananias on this:
“Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourselves some of the money you received for the land? Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You had no lied just to human beings but to God.” Acts 5: 3-4 NIV
After Peter was done speaking, Ananias fell and died instantly.
Three hours later, Sapphira came before Peter, without knowing what happened to Ananias. Peter then inquired of Sapphira the price of the piece of property they sold, to see if she would lie about the amount given by Ananias or maintain her integrity and be honest about the true amount they sold the land for.
Sapphira lied and said the price of the land to be the same as the amount given by Ananias. She then fell down and died instantly.
This may sound super harsh if you don’t understand the context. You might be thinking, “Well they weren’t forced to sell their land and give the church any money at all, so why are they being punished for giving an offering out of their own will even if it wasn’t the full amount they sold the land for? Shouldn’t the church be thankful for the offering no matter the amount it is?”
But you see, the offering was never about the amount of money, it was about the heart posture that the people had when giving of their own possessions for the good of the people around them. Ananias and Sapphira had a poor heart posture. They were giving money from a place of wanting the honor and respect that giving gave instead of out of a desire to meet the needs of those they were giving to. They said that they sold a piece of property for the sake of offering it’s profits to the needy. They had declared to the church and the church leaders that the money earned from their sale was to be given as an offering. However, when they lied about the amount and only gave part of the total profit, it was then an offering given out of selfish ambition instead of selfless love.
By committing this act, Sapphira and Ananias weren’t just lying to Peter, the rest of the community and to God, they were also lying to themselves. They convinced themselves that giving a part of the money instead of the whole amount, was an okay thing to do. They believed that their partial measure of obedience would still bring them the full measure of blessing they are hoping for.
If it was all for God and for their community, it wouldn’t have prompted them to lie about it. If we do stuff on the outside just so we fit in as christians or think it will earn us points with God, then we’re wasting our time. If our obedience to the Lord is coming from a place of wanting to receive something in return from others or from God, it’s not obedience at all, its manipulation. Others may be fooled by this, but God never is. He knows when you’re holding back.
He knows when you’re holding back your heart from him, your plans for your life, your thoughts, and your actions. Even if you’re giving 90% of it to him and others are taking notice and believing you’re fully surrendered to his will, but yet you know what you’ve kept for yourself. You know the back up plans you’ve set in place, that you’re ready to engage in once this whole “trusting God with my life” thing doesn’t work out. God wants it all or nothing. If you’ve declared your life as his but aren’t willing to truly hand it all over to him, it’s not surrender. Underneath the charade, you still desire to be in control, you still want the security of knowing you have something left if for some reason God doesn’t keep up his end of the deal.
We then get frustrated at God saying, “Lord, I’ve done what you told me to do, I’m surrendered to you but you’re still not coming through for me” and we put the blame on God instead of being honest with ourselves about how much we’re actually putting into his hands and how much we’re still holding on to with clenched fists.
I’ve struggled with this myself and it’s a daily action I have to take to surrender to him and his will. I have to consistently check myself for ways I’m clinging to my own plans and my heart’s desires for the present and future and how that could be preventing me from all the the plans God has for me and my life.
Surrendering all isn’t easy, but it is worth it and something I’ve learned on the World Race is that God always keeps his end of the deal, even if we can’t see it or don’t understand how he is doing so.
**In my next post I will expand on this idea of surrendering all to the Lord, even when it seems crazy and even when keeping an emergency fund of trust and faith would make complete sense
