Fundraising. That’s a scary word. Especially when $18,700 is attached to that word. I’m going to be honest when I say that every time I look at that huge number my stomach drops & my palms sweat. $18,700. Dang. Now that is a big chunk of change for a girl in her senior year of college.
After I got accepted to the World Race I rejoiced. I cheered with my friends & family & immediately started dreaming of the places I would go. But then the whole fundraising thing began sinking in & I grew paralyzed. The irrational questions started flowing through my mind. How could I ever raise this much? Who would want to support me?? How in the world am I going to ask people for money??? The doubts & fears were slowly drowning my excitement. That is, until God led me to Matthew 14.
There’s Jesus, walking across the sea amidst a raging storm towards the fearful disciples. Peter yells out to Jesus, requesting to come out onto the water to meet Him. This request may seem impulsive or ill considered, but Jesus does not condemn Peter, but rather encourages his faith. So He asks Peter to come out onto the water with Him. Peter obeys & courageously steps out of the boat & begins walking towards Jesus. Soon though, doubt floods his mind & he slowly begins to sink. He cries out to Jesus who then takes his hand saying “oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
I relate to Peter. I understand the longing to be close to Jesus. The deep desire to walk towards Him no matter the circumstances. The sudden courage he had to step out of that boat in faith.
But I also understand the doubt. The fear when the sudden reality of the situation hit him. The feeling of sinking & the need to cry out to the Lord. I imagine Peter, with great awe & wonder, walking towards Jesus, but then looking down & thinking, “What am I doing? How is this possible?”
But Jesus took hold of him.
We are not called to sit in comfort. In a book titled Nothing to Prove, Jennie Allen writes that Jesus sits on the other side of our comfort zone beckoning us to step out of the boxes we have created for ourselves. And as we walk towards Him we begin to see how, even in the ordinary parts of our lives, God is making BIG things, life-changing things, happen.
Life change happens when we take those big risks that make our hands sweat & stomach drop.
Life change happens when we place our fears on the Lord & trust Him to keep us afloat.
Life change happens when we step out of the boat.
Jennie Allen writes, “there is no greater risk than throwing the weight of your life on an eternal, loving, & steadfast God.” And man, do I believe that. Fundraising scares me. Asking people to donate frightens me. I often doubt that the Lord will provide. But I decide to jump anyways because I believe that God will do BIG things through the people who partner alongside me. I believe that the Lord will introduce new relationships through this process & possibly, hopefully, change lives through it too.
I know my fear of fundraising might not go away & I certainly know that doubts will resurface from time to time; it’s only human. But I also know that He is calling me out onto the water & to do so confidently despite my fears. My job is to obey. And if I begin to sink, I know that Jesus will be there, reaching out His hand & pulling me up, every time.
So, $18,700? To me that seems daunting & never ending. But to the good Lord that number is oh so small. He has given me friends, family, & a wonderful community that care deeply about my dreams & about His mission to make His name known. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to trust the Lord in such a real & tangible way. So I ask BIG things from Him because i know He is a BIG God that can handle our biggest requests. In fact, He welcomes them. He welcomes us out of the boat, out of our comfort zones & out of our boxes so that our lives might be changed for His glory.
***It would mean the world if you considered partnering with me through donation or prayer as I prepare for my journey. Every bit helps!!! Feel free to subscribe for updates on my future posts and click the link below to check out the shirts I have designed with the help of my 3 wonderful roommates 🙂 Hebrews 12: 1-2 says “let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…” I believe we ALL have a race to run & each of ours is equally important. So I pray that you might consider helping me run my race while you run yours!
I am thankful for you!!!
