Oh Asia, you held some of my BEST days so far and some of my WORST. Mentally and spiritually these months brought A LOT of tears, a lot of growth, a lot of memories, a lot of laughter, a lot of dirty feet, and a lot change!
I had so many firsts in Asia. For starters, it was my first time to Asia! I loved having the opportunity to experience such a different culture from home. Our first stop was Vietnam and we ended with Cambodia. I ate all new foods, loved most, but there were a few I would prefer not to eat again. I tried Indian food and loved it, I tried a tarantula and durian (aka stinky fruit)- both of which I will never eat again! I also, bought and drank my first ever coffee, i know this isn’t an Asian thing but I used to HATE coffee. I’m not sure if my taste buds changed or it was just the fact that I was missing out on all the coffee dates and wanted to join in with my friends!
Asia also brought a lot of cultural changes. Every time we entered a home we had to take off our shoes. My flat feet hated me at the end of each day. Then to call people over we had to wave our hand downwards. I figured that wouldn’t be too hard until I was constantly waving kids over like home and having to catch my self. I couldn’t read anything, all I saw was squiggles and signs that made no sense. It wasn’t like Central America where I knew enough Spanish to get around, here, I knew nothing. This led to a 3 hour journey around Ho Chi Minh to find some dominoes pizza. It really shouldn’t be that hard but when google translate fails you, that’s what happens.
When I left Central America I wrote myself a letter to reflect on all that I had learned and grown in through those 3 months. So I’m going to do that again with Vietnam and Cambodia and leave it here for everyone to get a better understanding of how the past couple months were for me. I wasn’t the best at blogging which I’m sorry for! I’m working to get better at that this month.
Dear Kyndal,
I remember like it was yesterday, we had a layover in the U.S. before we headed to Asia. As the plane picked up speed and took off from the ground it really hit you that you were LEAVING America for 8 more months!? You were going to the complete other side of the world away from your friends and family. You didn’t understand why you were freaking out, I mean, you had already been away for 3 months?!
It’s not like Central America felt completely like home. But there was something about being in the same time zone, and it was Central America…it still had America in the name so it was close enough. But on that plane headed to Asia you wanted to break down and cry. You just wanted some Chick-fil-A to be honest, but of course the layover in America was on a Sunday, and that’s enough reason to cry right there! But something about that moment on the plane started your time in Asia a little rocky.
Your team arrived at your home for the month the next day in Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam. There were people everywhere and they all sounded like they were shouting when they spoke. You couldn’t have a broken conversation like you could in Central America. You helplessly stood blankly and just kept repeating “only English” to the men and women who kept speaking Vietnamese to you like you were all of a sudden going to understand them.
You felt helpless because even google translate failed you. It was your first time in a closed country (where being a missionary is illegal). You weren’t sure what was safe to say and what wasn’t. But you could feel the darkness of the lack of hope and light in the people around you. Everyone seemed to be worshipping Buddha and you wanted so badly to do something but all you had the power to do was pray.
Vietnam brought out a lot of insecurities and doubts. Thank goodness the hostel had a rooftop that month because you got to share so many intimate moments with the Lord that you desperately needed. You doubted your influence with your team and your leadership abilities. I remember the Lord responded with “power,” the word he gave you that month. You learned to lean into His power, because you alone were helpless.
One night as you were crying out to God he stirred your heart and told you something big was coming and to keep your eyes on Him. It gave you excitement but you had no idea what it could be, and it seemed that it must be something far away because Vietnam didn’t seem to hold anything significant for you there. All you knew was that you were ready to get onto Cambodia.
A week left into the month you were told you would no longer be a team leader. You found peace and worked hard to see it as a good thing and not as something you had failed at. You knew you gave your all and knew that God was calling you to support others who now needed that time to grow in leading. But you were in for quite a surprise…A few days later you were asked to squad lead for p squad?!
There was the something BIG the Lord had been telling you about! You were excited and also a little terrified. You had only heard about this but had no idea what to expect from this role. All you knew is that you were going to grow and it got you pumped for the next month.
*travel to Cambodia*
Then came debrief and everyone found out about you going to be a raised up squad leader. The encouragement you received from the squad was overwhelming! And a week later you and the leadership team were off for training. You spent many long days at the local coffee shops where you were learning so much and felt so filled!
After week one of training you met back up with the teams and shadowed Brit (our alumni squad leader for the first 4 months). That week was a little rough. You quickly got into your head and doubted your ability to be a good squad leader. You felt like you were never going to have the right words to say or wouldn’t make the right decisions.
The Lord gave you the verse, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
What a relief! Alone, you could NOT handle squad leading. But you weren’t alone and never would be. You realized God had appointed you. He had called you to this role and wanted to use you as his vessel. You realized he was going to equip you and you found so much peace in this. It gave you confidence in God to trust him with every small task, conversation, debrief, one on one, teaching or anything that was going to be a part of your role as a SQL.
As you finished your time in Cambodia, you gained that confidence and complete trust in the Lord. It didn’t necessarily make everything easier but you didn’t feel that heavy weight on you because the Lord would equip you with the words to say and the actions to make every time something came up.
Cambodia was an incredible month! You loved the people you were surrounded by and all the change you were preparing for. Being appointed to a position to deeply love and care for the people around you excited you. You no longer looked at this position with fear of messing up but excitement to grow and learn. If you failed, you were going to be okay. You read the end of Luke 9 and it completely changed your mindset. Because the Lord appointed and empowered his disciples, and even when they failed He taught them more-then he went and empowered 72 more people! He’s not afraid of failure so I shouldn’t be either!
Well, Asia, you have touched my life. It was definitely a love-hate relationship. I don’t regret any of my time there, actually I’m thankful, even for those hard and frustrating days. Maybe we will meet again? Who knows!? But for now, here’s to Europe!
Love,
Kyn
