Dear Me,
you made it through the first leg of the race and are headed to the second continent! Before you leave I wanted to show you what you’ve learned in the past 88 days in Central America.
A lot has changed since you got off the plane in Belize. Immediately, you had to step into your role of being a team leader and find your transportation to your host for you and 18 other people. All the responsibilities came flooding in and at first it was exciting and you loved trying to coordinate and plan the weeks since administration is a gift of yours. BUT before long you realized you needed to delegate responsibilities and tasks or you would be drained and unable to fully give yourself to your team and ministry. It’s healthy to say no and though it doesn’t come easy for you, you know it’s better for everyone. And with saying no, you’ve taken days for yourself even when exciting activities were available that day. Though it was hard in the moment, when the day ended you had no regrets because you chose your Best Yes that day.
The days were long and the best way to start them was opening your bible or just spending time with God. Within the first week you realized how necessary that time was. You can’t give yourself to others if you aren’t filled first. Then you‘re running on empty and that’s just exhausting! 88 days later I feel the effect of those early mornings when you got up before the sun for quiet time, and it’s such a beautiful thing.
You’re learning to listen to the Holy Spirit. And it’s so sweet when you do. Already, he has used you in ways you might not have pictured. Before, you thought your friends with the louder voices or outgoing personalities and all the confidence should be the ones in front of everyone. But somehow you’ve found yourself speaking in front of others on more than one occasion. And in those moments you’ve experienced the Holy Spirit taking over and speaking through you. I hope there are many more instances like that the next 8 months and after!
Vulnerability and surrender have been a theme in your life the past couple years but I think now you are walking actively in it-stronger than ever before. You’ve had the opportunity to see first hand what sharing your story can do. That truth about your life that is ugly and unwanted has actually brought connection and healing. The devil wants you to hide that part of you and feel the shame but instead you laid it all out on the table. And because you shared your story you have found more freedom, and others see that and may open up to you for the first time about something in their life. You’ve began to find joy in sharing because who knows what “story” the people around you are going through and they might need a nugget of hope to begin walking in vulnerability as well.
You’ve found joy in giving, of both tangible things or your time. You don’t have much this year but when you gave away your sunglasses to the little boy in Belize it was a sweet moment because he just lit up when he put them on. And now everytime you’re squinting at the sun you can think of him. Then there was that time you were dancing and a girl came up eyeing that cute scrunchie on your wrist (for the men out there, a scrunchie is what us girls use to put up our hair). I remember you hesitaTed because you only have so many and this one was cute. But it was just a thing, and she loved it much more so you let her take it. A week went by and you’d already forgotten about it, so when you walked back into the orphanage and the first thing she did was hold up her wrist with that scrunchie on it, you were overjoyed with the decision to let it go.
In the midst of joy and excitement the past three months you’ve also had your fair share of tears. Who knew full time ministry away from all your friends and family for almost a year would be hard…lol This year is uncomfortable and it makes you miss home at times. Like when you’re taking that ice cold shower for the 10th time that month or miss your extra fluffy bed, and while it’s okay to miss those things, don’t sit in that spot. Don’t waste your time here wishing you were back home because before you know it you will be, and you’ll be wishing you were back in that house with 36 other people.
This is a trip of a lifetime and so far it’s been a beautiful thing. Leaving behind all the comfortability each month and stepping into more unknown but you’ve come to love it because that is where you continue to grow. I can’t wait to see what Asia holds for you and where you will be in two months!
Love ya!
Kyn
*IMPORTANT*
Our next country is Vietnam and it is actually illegal to be a missionary and you could get deported if the government finds out. With that being said, I have to put a password on my blog, and if you want to continue reading my blog while I’m in Vietnam you’ll want to write this down: password- Psquad2019
I understand if you forget it so feel free to message me throughout the month and I can give you the password again. Also, always feel free to reach out! I love hearing from everyone back at home.
