As I sit in a coffee shop in Missouri, I think to myself…”Wow it feels so great to finally be able to stop for a minute and enjoy time for myself.”
If you know me, you know I am probably the busiest human ever. It’s not a “busy” because of my job or because of things I don’t like doing because believe me, I will never let that take over my life, but it’s a busyness of doing too much, too many commitments, saying “Yes” all the time and not allowing myself to just sit down and relax. This isn’t always a bad thing because that is how many of my adventures are created but sometimes it can be a little too much.
Since the New Year I feel like I have been on autopilot. So many plans, going from one thing to the next, many trips to and from the airport, many times saying Yes to some and “sorry I have plans” to others. Many pictures, memories and even some breakdowns later…I sit here at the coffee shop, by myself reflecting on the past few months.
Even though I have had some of the best times in the last few months, something was missing.
I took the steering wheel and put Jesus in the back seat. I was “too busy” to spend time with God. I was “too tired” to pray, to read, or even talk to God. I was trying to get by, make it through the day by myself. Some days this worked but it never lasts.
Without God I cannot possibly be my best version and I have witnessed this many times in my life. When I push God to the side, I slowly realize differences in my behavior. To be honest, I become stressed easily, my patience is limited, I am quick to judge, I become snappy towards those close to me, I am more self-centered and focused on worldly things instead of what really matters.
These things don’t go away fully when I am close to God but I am honestly filled with more peace, love, happiness and joy when I spend more time with him and I am able share that with those around me. (Side Note: When I say spend time with God I mean reading the bible, devotionals or other Christian books, praying and talking to God, worshipping through music or conversations, journaling etc.…)
These past few months I let my busyness be my excuse of not being able to spend time with God and have been feeling the affects in my heart, but today I am able to finally sit back and realize that I cannot live my life distant from God.
“Jesus Take the Wheel!” –Carrie Underwood
He has brought me through so much and continues to be the light in the darkness. “I once was lost and now I am found!” He has given me the passion and desire to help others, love others, see the world, go on adventures, say “Yes”, and to live an abundant life. My heart is overwhelmed with how Amazing God is and how he has led me to where I am today; how he has led me to THE WORLD RACE!! I cannot be more excited for this opportunity!
I am blessed and thankful to have a God who Calls Me By Name, who is my footprints in the sand, carrying me every step of the way, who is always there for me even when I distance myself. A God who forgives me, doesn’t hold on to my past mistakes and loves me and all my imperfections, UNCONDITIONALLY!
Why would I even want to try to live without God leading my life? It doesn’t even make sense.
Thank you all so much for continuously supporting me through all of this. I apologize for being a little distant and too busy the last couple months. I appreciate you all for still believing in me and encouraging me even when I wasn’t doing this myself. I cannot thank God for the large community of loving people he has surrounded me with. You are AMAZING!
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. It is crazy how much a little down time with some worship music can affect my day in the best possible way! <3
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Have a wonderful day!!
Love,
Kristen
