I’ve got to be honest… he put up a good fight. One punch after another, he pummeled me. Gravel crunched under my shoulder blades as he pinned my wrists above my head, shifting my body with every blow. Pain piercing through my skin like lightning strikes; I lay there, too weak to respond.
Suddenly, through the coursing river of tears, I saw something. Over his shoulder, something glimmered. The brilliant white robe of a man named Jesus shone just behind my attacker. I focused my attention just as his next punch ripped the air the already scarce air from my lungs, and noticed the strangest thing… Even through my now blurred vision, I could see distinctly what the man named Jesus held out toward me: my black belt.
My perspective shifted. It all came together. I understood. Hovering over me was not a man of unending power and strength; above me was a bruised and insecure man, trying desperately to beat me while I believed he was capable of doing so.
I kicked him off of me and he dropped to the ground. My gaze shifted to Jesus. His gentle smile had all the power in the world, and when his eyes met mine, I knew he was sharing that power with me, because I am his beloved daughter.
This story illustrates a recent battle I faced. Right now I’m sitting in a hotel room, waiting to fly to Georgia for Training Camp. I have had one overarching fear leading up to this training. That’s the fear that my squad mates aren’t going to like me, and that I won’t connect with them. This stems from a past rejection. Satan, the attacker, likes to take what has happened in the past, translate it into messages such as “nobody likes you” or “your friends only hang out with you because they feel obligated to”, and assign them to every future situation I enter. It makes me insecure. It makes me want to hold back.
BUT! When I shared this fear with a godly lady, she told me, “that is a lie from the pit of hell”. This fear has been beating me down for months!!! It had an unbelievable impact on me! But, when my eyes were pointed to the truth, and I recognized the fear as a lie, it lost all of its power! We will know the truth and the truth will set us free! Praise Jesus for always pointing us to the truth and for crushing Satan!
This last Saturday, I had a dessert auction (which raised almost $1000- thank you Lord!!!). At the end, everyone gathered around me to pray over me. One woman prayed that I would remember that I am royalty. It was at this point that I started crying. Man! I forget my worth so easily!! I mean, Jesus DIED FOR ME!!?!?! The next morning, I checked the verse of the day on my bible app, and it was 1 Peter 2:9.
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
So, as I depart for training camp, I would love it if you kept me in your prayers! It is easy for me to fall back into believing that lie that none of my teammates will like me, so pray I will be quick to recognize the attacks of the enemy, and rebuke them. I am going to be myself and love Jesus and praise him for making me his special possession, and I am going to go love all my new friends at camp!
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
Ephesians 6:12
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
John 8:32
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:35
-Kirsten
