My mom used to tell me that everything was spiritual warfare. Growing up I thought she was exaggerating. I thought that a person’s personality existed because of their environments and because of nurturing in their homes. And that’s true too. We are all molded by our families and our experiences but there’s something deeper that takes place. When we are born we have specific personalities: some babies are shy, some are bold. Some babies crave physical touch, some fight it. Those innate desires that we possess at birth become more complex as we age, and sometimes, they become twisted by the one thing that we will continue to wage war against; “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of the dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12) The plane of our lives is defined most often by the wilderness of our emotional field. Our mountains, our valleys, our stagnant water and raging rivers, those are the aspects of our minds that shape us. In other words, our ambition, grief, complacency, and independence, are the qualities of our hearts that cause us to act (or to fail to do so). And Satan, the prince of darkness in this world, knows this truth and wields it against us in daily battles.
In first and second Samuel I can see the scope of the emotional battlefront. The motivations and desires that prompt people to their most evil or most selfless acts are plainly and implicitly described. The same man can be prompted to enter battle for the greed of glory or for the love of his land. The same woman can marry a man for the lust of affluence or for the love in her heart. The deepest desires and emotions of humanity are recounted in first Samuel and it’s caused me to reflect upon the depth of my own emotional state. What are my motivations, daily battles, triumphs?
When I gaze into my heart this is the wilderness that I see: I see a forest, blazing with color. Deep greens, blooming flowers, rich earth. I see sheer cliff faces cut ruggedly into the land and a waterfall thundering from the tops of high cliffs. Through the mountain range, if you follow the river, you come the edge of the sea. The waves crash upon the shore day and night and the stars can always be seen from the coastline. There are meadows in my heart, places of fresh growth and wildflowers. And then there’s a secret place, a place that I visit when I want to dance or paint or sculpt things in my mind. That’s where I meet the Lord, in my secret place, where I’m not required to be anything but myself. It’s there that I pray.
In first and second Samuel, David is King of Judah and Israel for forty years after the reign of the corrupt King Saul. In the transition of power between Saul and David much takes place. We could talk about the events that occur, all of the biblical history is fascinating. It’s complicated and passionate and infused with spiritual power, but in all of the stories and events that I read in first and second Samuel there is one verse that has been impressed upon my mind; “…So David prayed..” (2 Samuel 15:31) David prayed, the context of this is simple; David was in trouble. His battles were immense; the loss of a son, the attack on his kingdom, the betrayal of family. David’s emotional battles in his physical reality were wreaking devastation on his heart. In countless situations in first and second Samuel David is on the brink of losing everything; his dignity, his wealth, his power, his children, his wives, his sanity. Every area of his life was brutally attacked by the one power, Satan, that could stir the hearts of men to evil in the most barbaric of ways. His life was thick with spiritual warfare and yet this was his defense, he prayed. And then he acted on behalf of the Lord’s wisdom and power, for the Lord shows “unfailing kindness” to His people.
My life doesn’t look like the life of a King encountering a military coupe. I have no children, no husband, no true career to mourn or fight for yet. I am not David. But I am a daughter of the King and I have realized that our position of worldly authority does not always determine the ferocity of our spiritual warfare. Do not underestimate the schemes of spiritual powers because you work a desk job or you barista or babysit or whatever else. Because we no longer live under the old covenant law, we all hold more power than we have even realized, and so our emotional warfare is representative of our spiritual and not our physical strength. We are still at war and one of the key tactics that Satan deploys against us is to invalidate our feelings and diminish our trust of the Lord providing our strength and comfort, ultimately decreasing the level of our faith.
Over the past few weeks I have been battling an unexplainable anxiety in the morning. I wake up short of breath and become overwhelmed by the many facets of the day. It makes me want to stay curled up in bed and not move. I have been attacked in my identity of my faith, choosing to believe that I am not a daughter redeemed in Christ, but that I have to accomplish a “faith by works” life. I have had lies quietly whispered to me that tell me that I can’t accomplish enough, that I am not deserving of rest, that I am not worthy of a spiritual calling. All of this happens under the surface, its all in my head, and so I have chosen to recognize the emotional warfare taking place. I am calling out the lies, replacing them with the truth of the Lord, and coming to God with prayers and petitions of providence at every turn, as David did.
God provides providence through his gifts and through the spiritual armor He dresses us in. When David went to fight Goliath before he was king, King Saul summoned him and dressed David in his personal armor. After attempting to move under the weight of the armor for several minutes, David informed King Saul that he wasn’t accustomed to the armor and that he couldn’t battle in it. David went out to fight Goliath with his shepherding staff, a sling, five smooth stones from the river, and his normal apparel. He was a warrior whose individual “armor” was unique to him because he walked in the power and authority of the Lord. In the same way, when I or you dress for battle, we must be aware that our armor is uniquely designed for us. We have to know what it looks like.
I would encourage people at home who are battling attacks emotionally and physically to turn to prayer for the “peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.” (Phillipians 4:7) Our God is our defender and it’s time that we employed the tools he has given us to fight our battles. We talk all the time about our struggles, sin issues, and grief but do we turn to scripture and battle it with the Word? I have started studying Ephesians 6, the armor of God, in more detail over the last few weeks in response to my spiritual battles. We are warriors of Christ, not soldiers. We fight for the love of our creator not because of a designated draft list and because we serve a God who loves us so much and made us so unique, I believe that our spiritual armor is made specifically for each individual. Essentially our armor is the same; the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet dressed in readiness and peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, and sword of truth. These gifts from God are our defenses against attacks, we should dress in them daily. I’m trying to learn what my armor looks like; is my sword of truth a torch, a blazing light that I carry? Do my shoes have wings, do they look like the shoes my sister painted for me? I’m talking through it with the Lord, I want to see the armor that I dress myself in, I want to intimately know the way it feels. The more we battle for the Lord the more we know our armor and the longer we dress in our armor, the less likely we are to be wounded. Our armor is our defense and our prayer is the offense. Whenever we pray, God answers. He sends aid; he sends angels, comfort, wisdom, and strength. He provides for his kids. When we pray in accordance with God’s will amazing things happen, lives truly become revolutionized and emotional and physical wars are conquered. I’ve seen it happen.
So today is another day of spiritual and emotional battles. It’s early in the morning and I’m sitting at a table in our house with some of my teammates who are drinking coffee and painting with water colors. The Lord helped me find peace with them today. They pray with me, in my offensive attack against anxiety. There’s truly strength in numbers when the church prays in one accord. Pray today, dress yourself in the armor of God, and ask the Lord what it looks like. Ask, and you will receive for God loves to give good gifts to His kids.
Truths:
Romans 5:1 “Therefore, since we have been justified through faith we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into his grace in which we now stand.”
2 Corinthians 3:17 “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.”
Galatians 3:26 “So in Christ Jesus you are all children of God through faith…”
Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations forever and ever. Amen.”(emphasis added)
