I’ve been on the field for a whopping 15 MONTHS now. I don’t have enough words or worship to adequately express my thankfulness for it all. I am so grateful to have experienced, tasted and seen God work in such radical, intimate and life transforming ways. What a privilege to have experienced so much and know that this also is just a beginning. As I reflect on this quickly closing season, I am expectant and excited to see how the fire will keep burning in the next chapter of life.
So here is the age old question. [What’s next for you?]
Let’s begin to answer that with a story. I was sitting in the kitchen of an apartment in Yerevan, Armenia. It was January of this year. It was around 5a, I was wide awake. The morning began with a very normal quiet time. Worship, prayer, black coffee in hand, journal open— expectant and thankful to have some time alone with God. I was praying into a women’s event my team was planning when I felt like God was asking me to stop praying to Him and simply sit with Him. He wanted me to stop seeking the answers and just seek His presence in that moment. I turned off my music, and just sat. For quite some time. Maybe twenty minutes passed. I was just meditating on and seeking God’s presence. I remember the quiet of the night was almost palpable. The dark night sky and the chill of the fresh snow was pressing into the window behind me. I had a blanket wrapped around me and was so enjoying holding a hot cup of coffee. And then in the silence, I sensed God saying: ‘Navy’. It wasn’t an audible voice. But it was SO clear. And from my spirit. I sat wide-eyed for a moment, there was a sip of coffee in my mouth and I remember telling myself to swallow it, while my mind was screaming “WHAT…..?!” I asked the Father….You said the Navy? Like the military? What do you want to show me about the Navy? Am I going to be a nurse in the Navy? Why would I join the Navy? God what is your plan for this?…… As I rattled off flurries of frazzled thoughts, feeling wide-eyed, I simply sensed the Father smiling. He didn’t answer any of my anxious questions, He simply sat with me and showed me the comfort and peace of His presence, His joy pouring over me as I sat there miffed.
As I think back to that morning in Armenia now, I can’t help but just smile too. Ten months later, I’ve experienced so much as I’ve chased after God’s invitations in the daily, hourly, continually. The Spirit is always helping us connect. And as we seek, we find. I’ve experienced Him in so many NEW ways. A constant inviation to more. And saying YES has become easier even as the last months have passed and usually invokes a lot less frazzled questions as I’m growing to trust God more my all, risk and heart. He gave me this life, and it’s His to use. In that early morning moment of shock, God spoke this Navy seed into my heart. This seedling has taken root and has opened a door, role and huge prayer journey I could have never conceived or imagined.
In short, that morning in Armenia was not simply an invitation to the military. It was the seedling and opening of a new journey to discovering more of my Kingdom role. And, though it did eventually deliver the truth that I would spend a few years bringing God’s love and hope to the military, it opened something so much bigger than the Navy.
Since this morning in Armenia, so much has happened in my spirit to not only say yes, but to receive excitement to the whole of this invitation. With endless words and time, I could still never describe all that God has done, but here are some of the things God has moved in and invited me to:
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Allowing space for God to speak into what ‘Navy” meant— not just into the actual Navy, but speaking promises and direction over my role to live missionally and make Kingdom the purpose and driving fire in my life.
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God has introduced me to many beautiful people that carried His heart and love for His children—learning to cultivate and really press into community has been monumental.
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God continues showing me my role in the Kingdom. My role as a daughter, my role with women, my role in prayer, my role as an advocate for people to move more deeply into the fullness and identity that Christ offers.
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Building up courage to vulnerably share my process of hearing from God with teammates, friends and family back home alike. As I continue pressing into His presence and invitation, it’s been both mysterious and powerful to really claim His words and promises.
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God has been showing me what it means to be secure in Him alone. Not in finances, affirmation, the beauty of close friendships, a job, steady community—but in Him. Michigan is nowhere near the oceans. I’m continuing to learn what it means to make His presence my ultimate HOME, sacred dwelling place.
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When I came home in June, one of the first things I did was call the Naval medical recruiter. Opening an application made things pretty real.
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Continued community. Both with M squad and Y squad, rich friendships have been softening, abundant and changed my heart forever. The other invitation to community has been with Trinity and learning that God is ALWAYS around.
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Removing fear. In my flesh, I’ve been SCARED of this invitation to the military. The frazzled questions were just the beginning. As God continues to sit with me, I’ve been experiencing how He’s so much bigger than my disbelief, fear, inability or brokness. He is a God of power, and as I’ve sat at His feet, He has replaced my spirit of fear with a spirit of freedom, joy and confidence to move into more authority within His Kingdom.
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God has given me confidence to GO FOR IT and I’m screaming YES to this call with an excitement I could have never imagined.
Since August, I’ve had the amazing privilege of spending my 24/7 with team Lost and Found in China, Tibet, Nepal and India. We are moving into transition this weekend, and I will be flying home next week. Throughout my last months, I have been continually praying into this next season and its last details.
Last week, I was on the phone with the Navy medical recruiter again. We were finalizing some of the last steps of my application. The new fiscal year had opened and applications were being accepted for new nursing contracts. I asked about any potential critical care opportunities. And point blank, she said, “Without critical care accreditation, you are not eligible for these jobs” My previous understanding was that I could begin with whatever nursing job was open and work my way to critical care. She then spoke saying, “My only suggestion is to work towards your critical care accreditation and apply directly after if you desire to work in critical care”
Silence. And in a moment my expectation for my next season and timeline in the military came crashing down. I thought I would be home for the holidays and then be gone, launching out to begin this next season that God has been speaking into for so many months. Just days before, I was in a quiet time rejoicing because I felt READY for the first time ever. Oh, was this a surprise
Suddenly, sitting in yet another temporary home, this time in India, knowing I had two options:
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Join the Navy now and pursue the role God is inviting me into—but never have the opportunity to fulfill what He has spoken into about working in critical care.
OR
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Say YES to this interim season and work critical care in an Intensive Care Unit or Emergency Department—while also allowing God to grow and refine all that He’s been planting in my heart. And then, join the Navy.
And in my spirit, I knew there was only one right option. Allowing God to continue moving in my heart and continue seeking Him and what He has spoken.
Opening my hands to the change of timeline did invoke some frustration. I thought I knew what was next. I have been sitting with the Lord sooo much in this. Why did He just close the door to this timing now? My excitement for the Navy really just began to swell. As I’ve been praying through this over the last week, God has given me so much thankfulness for the urgency I’ve sensed in this season to prepare for the Navy. He has removed so much fear. I feel ready to launch out now and am desiring with excitement to dive into all God has spoken into. But, that is not the door God is inviting me to walk through today or tomorrow. Only God knows what this interim season will hold and what value it will have to my years in the Navy.
So, with a bit of an unexpected turn, I open my hands to these next years and the continued preparation. Whether I am working in a civilian hospital or a living on a military base somewhere around the world, my Kingdom role does not change. God’s love does not change. As I give myself to the unexpected, the journey, the continued invitations and the promises that God has laid before me, I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness and all the accounts of His faithfulness I have seen and experienced with my own eyes.
There is a continual invitation for each of us. I hope with all of my heart that you are not reading this wishing you could also hear from God. Believing that you are not worthy or capable of hearing from the Lord is one of the greatest lies of the enemy. Relationship with is the most radical things about following Jesus. Traveling, I’ve encountered so many different religions that are not personal. If you believe in Jesus, you can know a God deeply who desires to speak to us, direct us, comfort us, grow us. Moment by moment. Hearing from God is not only for some Jesus-followers, but an invitation for EVERY believer. The invitation to more is always available to anyone who is seeking. What we receive in return in unfathomable. So, as I prepare to return home, I am thankful for the unexpected, continual invitation of God.
I’m coming home in a week absolutely celebrating what a privilege to live from a place of belief and trust—the future’s gonna be exciting!
