What will you do when you get home?
This has been the age old question for a bit on the race—what are you doing after this crazy adventure? The Lord has been speaking and directing so much of my future. Today, I’d like to share my next steps!
In the last months, God has been strengthening me, showing me my weaknesses, tenderly loving and healing parts of my heart, revealing more of my giftings and cultivating such lifegiving community. It’s been radical to grow in him as I have been. As I have poured into praying for direction, kingdom role and a specific direction, God has answered with some unexpected, faith-filled and exciting steps.
Before this venture, I worked in the hospital as a critical care nurse. Since being on the field, I have missed medicine and caring for people in this capacity tremendously. As I continued to pray into what life after the race looked like, I knew nursing would be a big part of it—critical care is a niche I hope to stay in for some time!
If you know me, you know I love the mornings. The quiet hours before the sun is up, alone with God and self. Last December, I felt the invitation to wake up at 5am every morning and spend the first couple hours of my day in prayer and reading scripture. As the months have continued, these hours have been pivotal to so much growth. There have been many different invitations, but one thing the Father has consistently been speaking to me about is my kindgom role as his daughter and warrior.
In these sacred morning hours, I continued praying into what nursing will look like after the race. And God met me. But, not with what I was expecting. For some time, God has been putting military nursing on my heart each time I pray into the future. Specially, God is bringing Navy Nursing to the spotlight.
Initially, the thought of commissioning into the Navy Nurse Corps and using that sphere to spread the kingdom just felt….terrifying. My best initial reaction would probably be described in the word SHOCKED. God asking me to join the Navy? WHAT? At fieat, the military felt WAY too big.
I always thought if I would be called somewhere it would be to a specific organization, in a specific country, working on a specific ministry—with a community that I already knew and trusted. As the weeks and months have continued, God began asking me to release more and more to him. So many expectations and ideals. Just when you think you’re living surrendered, God will show you how much you’re actually still clinging to. Slowly, I began lifting these things up to Him as he revealed—security, home, proximity to family and friends, my timeline, community, how I would grow and receive love, false liberty, desires of my heart etc, etc, etc. (Man, do I love to be in control!)
In all this releasing, God continued asking me to trust that what He has in store would meet me abundantly. Because, honestly in my flesh and heart, it sounds pretty great to be God’s hands and feet from the comfort of West Michigan, working as a nurse, near my family and the lake forever—these people and places I love so much. But in my spirit, as I’ve continued to come before the Lord and give myself to the idea of the military, I’ve been met with so much peace, growth and excitement amidst all the scary releasing. As I continue learning my Kingdom role and relationship as daughter of God, I am receiving even more of the Kingdom inheritance that is available to EACH OF US. There is so much I could share here, but, for now I want to leave military nursing as it is in my heart—in open hands, and awaiting further instruction.
Accepting the potentials of this call have stirred so much growth in me. What is home? What about my loved ones? What about my family? When will I see my friends? What is community? How will I continue to flourish in the military environment? How can I lead with depth and vulnerability? What gifts has God given me for this? What does He want to grow me in? Where do I need correction? Do I trust that God will sustain me? Do I trust that God will go before me in this? When am I getting married? Will I be okay? How does God want to prepare me for this?
This season has been marked by a spiritual hunger I have never experience before. And as I continue to pray into the military, I have been met with such growth. In intimacy, in vulnerability, in healing, in trust, in leadership, in humility—knowing that God is the only one gives me those gifts of growth and equips me to make the jump to this call. And man, has God has really been meeting me in quiet times, through community and with new measures of faith.
In early March, as I continued pressing into this season, I was invited into more opportunity—the chance to come back out on the field to help establish a new squad through the 10/40 window. Coming back out with World Race was not on my radar. Again, I found myself SHOCKED by this kingdom opportunity, but also very excited. As I prayed into it coming back out, the door felt and continues to feel wide open to this specific Expedition route and the men and women signed up.
After a lot more prayer and confirmation, I accepted this three month leadership position! This August, I will be launching again with another Expedition squad. Their route, similar to my journey, travels through much of the 10/40 window. Their journey is eleven months. I will be with them for the first three months, helping lead, equip and establish kingdom living and community. We will witness and serve through China, Nepal and India while I am apart of this team. In it, I will be seeking God to cultivate community, intimacy and growth directly with a small group of new expedition racers.
This opportunity to come back out and help lead feels in every way like a stepping stone into the future. I am expectant and excited to keep pushing into growth. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store. I am standing in trust, knowing that he is standing with me. As I’ve been praying into these two opportunities, God is meeting me with a lot of courage. I continue to learn the grace and courage it takes follow the path God lays before us. The courage to say yes, and the grace God gives as he meets us and works through us in the depravity of humanness. As I continue stepping out, I know God will continue to direct me, correct me, love me deeply and allow my heart to beat for Him as I continue to learn how to follow Him.
I know that I never stand alone on my path. As God continues to ask me to cultivate legacy for his kingdom I think of one of the greatest legacy’s and faith inspiration I have: my great-Grandma Ruth.
Though I was very young when she passed, I have vivid memories of visiting her at the nursing home. She was always singing. Always. And she had this white notepad with all these names on it on her nightstand. It almost looked like a family tree, but instead of a tree it was just lists of people. It sat right next to a bowl of orange slice candies. And, each day, she prayed over us each day. Her prayers have influenced my life so. And her legacy is still directing my life. When I need courage to follow the narrow path, I often think of her life verse:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5)
As God continues to call me into the kingdom with even greater measures of faith, I stand on the firm foundation of God’s love and the truth of Ruth’s legacy. I will trust in the Lord, as we stand on the path he has designed specifically for my life. Even if that path feels very narrow. I am so excited for the adventure to continue. I am humbled. I am hungry to keep growing in Him. I am depending on him more than ever before.
God continues to reveal specific areas He desires to grow me in as I continue to press into what it means to serve the kingdom. I would love if you would partner with me in praying specifically for these qualities of spiritual growth:
-boldness
-trust
-vulnerability
-security
-ability to cultivate kingdom community
I will be home in just over two months (JUNE 27, OFFICIALLY 77 DAYS!) and cannot wait for the bear hugs and reunions! I would love to further unpack this and how God has been working in my heart in the last months. As the journey continues, I am so thankful for your prayers, friendship and the kingdom partnerships that help make all of this possible!
