“O city of Jerusalem, you are the city that murders your prophets! You are the city that pelts to death with stones the very messengers who were sent to deliver you! So many times I have longed to gather your wayward children together around me, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings—but you were too stubborn to let me.”
??Luke? ?13:34? ?TPT??
Pt. 1 of this series was defining discipleship and Christianity.
Pt. 2 was a tribute to those who have Spiritually Parented (especially my parents)
Pt. 3 here I want to talk about what I’ve been learning round 2 on the Race.
I think the thing that I’ve learned at large is what it’s like to be a mother. I’ve always felt that the Lord has gifted me and made me for mothering. These past two months though, he’s been teaching it to me in a new way.
Let me first begin by saying how wild this is.
I had a lot of prophetic words over me for this season, and I want to share 2 with you.
- A leader in the international church in Armenia mid convo was interrupted by a turn that God wanted to take, and he told me “[Kaylin, I really see you as a mother. I don’t know if that means an orphanage or what in the future, but I believe the Lord is going to call you to mothering, and mothering girls that are just a few years younger than you, and not that far in age apart from you].”
- My mom said to me, as I sobbed in our bathroom the night before I left for round 2 of the Race, “[Kaylin, I’ve been praying about this a lot, and The Lord has told me, these next 3 months are not going to be easy, they’re going to be very hard. But it’s going to be good, because it’s going to revive and refine characteristics in you.]”
Boy oh boy have these two words come to pass.
The Lord has let me see the beauty, the fun, and the easy of mothering for so long. These 3 months though he has shown me the burden of motherhood.
I’ve been rejected by little kids left and right, when normally I am the one they run to.
I have begun crying when 5 month old baby Alegría begins to cry (the baby of our Ecuador hosts: Mabe and Fabi).
I’ve felt the freedom that the Lord has for the girls on my team, and sitting in the anticipation and waiting for Him to move so that they feel it too.
I’ve felt His mother heart break, when an instruction has been given and it’s only followed for a short while before we fall back into our own habits and choices.
I’ve felt the responsibility to protect the girls on my team from harm physically, spiritually, and emotionally.
I have felt the pinch of when I’ve made a mistake or have made a choice that not all of my team agrees with, and I stand exposed in weakness before them.
I have felt the tension between majority rules and leaving the 99 for the 1.
I have felt the tension of “you’re a grown adult do what you want” (the cool bff mom) and “I carry responsibility for you” (The “I have to make decisions for you, even if you don’t like it“ mom)
I have thought the lies that “maybe someone else could lead them better”.
But most of all, I have felt love.
There are actually a handful of the girls on my team that are older than me. I by no means see myself as their “mother”, but I do recognize the Lord has put a mantle on me as a spiritual covering of sorts for them.
I’m learning, as every Christian parent learns. I can not do this, I can not control, but God can. I strive every day to put the girls on my team into the beautiful hands of our perfect Father. Because He can do it way better than I can, and I trust Him to move and work in their lives for His glory and their good. This, I’m sure, is preparation for the future, and the future mothering he has planned for me.
