“Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.”
Psalm 42:5
For anyone who has dealt with depression, these words of the psalmist probably resonate all too well. When I speak of depression I am speaking of that thing that is best compared to hell, where hopelessness and helplessness has become your banner. I am speaking of that undertow that drags you down. And for some who have never experienced true depression, they might not understand why you can’t just flush out the bad thoughts, get over it, and be happy. I myself used to be one of those people. I would ask the question, “Why would you let such an intense emotion control you?” At the time I had believed that this uninvited torture was actually a self-placed thorn for the weak… I was wrong.
DEPRESSION FOR ME
Depression is senseless, and has a logic of its own:
Logic #1: the things that you have a burning passion for you now feel indifferent to.
Logic #2: My hallmark sign that I am in depression is feeling lonely and isolated with a need for people, yet no desire for anyone to be around. It is the most torturous thing I have ever experienced.
Logic #3: When depression peaks I can say most of the time nothing is necessarily “wrong” in my life. Sure I could come up with a myriad of reasons of why minute issues may have triggered it. But that’s the thing, they are minute issues, and they have all of a sudden transformed into “traumatic events”. It is absolutely senseless. It is in this that I begin crying out like the Psalmist, “Why are you downcast, O my soul? HOPE IN GOD!”
THEOLOGICALLY LEARNING WITH DEPRESSION
Like Kudzu that creeps up and chokes out the life of the plants around it, I never notice, or at least I never give credit to the early warning signs of a depressive episode. When I don’t recognize the reality of the broken world, my sinful heart, and the adversary that prowls around me, I set myself up for defeat. If I ignore the brokenness, I ignore the need for a powerful God.
I can say that through the hardest parts of depression I have learned so much. I have learned that emotions and feelings, while initially are good and are meant to reflect how we are made in the image of God, they often times are flawed because of sin. Seasons of depression are the times, more than ever, to lean on the truth of God’s words and to not let your emotions inform your beliefs.
This is the time to remember and tell yourself over and over again until it is ingrained into you “God is good and God is good to me”. Martin Luther a strong man of our faith’s history battled depression, and it was this very truth that he struggled to believe the most during his time of depression.
HOW DEPRESSION RELATES TO THE WORLD RACE
It relates because the World Race, for the first time ever, became one of those things that I felt indifferent towards during a recent episode. Not only did I feel indifferent towards going, but the enemy started throwing lies at me, tempting me to turn back. Trying to convince me that if I took the path that lead through the World Race, that I was immediately signing up for hopelessness, helplessness, dissatisfaction, and darkness for the long haul. Praise God, once again I was able to endure because of His goodness.
WHAT HELPS
In seasons of depression, where I find my flesh weak and Satan loud, there are several things that are helpful…
1. Use the Sword. Have scripture ready to combat Satan through the power of the Holy Spirit, just as Jesus did when tempted in the wilderness (Matthew 4).
2. Post several biblical truths around your room or house (I use song lyrics too)(Deuteronomy 6:4-9).
3. Be able to recall testimonies. I haven’t started this one yet, but I know that it is crazy effective after talking to others who have battled depression. When you are in the depths it is hard to remember the goodness from days past. I have tried to recall God’s goodness towards me from before, and have found myself at a loss. Having them recorded will have them ready to recall for the times that appear dark (Psalm 77:11; Psalm 105:5; Psalm 119:14-16).
4. Get out and do the things you KNOW you enjoy, regardless of how you feel in the moment.
5. Be exposed to the sunlight.
6. Please, please, please, surround yourself with people who will be patient and walk along side of you through this (Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10).
Related Resources:
- Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Edward T. Welch
- “Waiting” (Sermon Jam) – Matt Chandler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkM9zrgTBJY
- “God’s Work in Your Depression” interview posted to Desiring God –John Piper
https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/god-s-work-in-your-depression
