Training camp was insane. It was ten days of being outside in the georgia heat. I didn’t really process anything that happened at training camp while we were physically there. There was SO MUCH information being given to us. From what I have been able to process, I have learned so much and I’m sure I’ve learned things I havn’t even realized I learned yet. (if that makes ANY sense at all)
To be completely honest with you, the first few days I was not having the best time. I was hot, sweaty, and hanging out with a bunch of people I hardly knew. I was UNCOMFORTABLE !!!!! I quickly learned that the race is going to be uncomfortable. That is something I knew, it’s inevitable, but the reality of just how much new cultures/ new people can you make you uncomfortable hit me. Jesus isn’t safe!!!!! Jesus is all about being uncomfortable! Jesus was radical in the literal sense of the word. He did things that were not socially acceptable!!! He, the King of Kings, hung out with the ‘untouchables’ of society. He worked through people that were considered ‘bad’ people from a worldly standpoint AND He loved them. He fufilled his promises to them. His grace runs reallllll deep.
As I spent more time thinking about how uncomfortable I was at training camp, I realized how silly I was to even begin to think that everything was gonna be all smooth sailing. Growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone! (real talk!!!!!!! as cheesy as it sounds)
Since I was not in my comfort zone, there was room for me to grow. And I did. I went into the week thinking I knew a lot about Jesus and His love for us. I quickly realized how much I DIDN’T know. I was watching people around me find all of these crazy connections with Papa, like being able to hear his voice and feel his presence. I found myself getting frustrated because I couldn’t hear or feel Jesus. I knew he was there, and he was talking to the people around me, but I couldn’t find him talking to me. In the midst of my frustration, I decided to spend some real alone time with just Jesus. I walked off into the woods and found a cute little field of wildflowers. I wandered across the field and into the other side of the woods where i found a rock to sit on. I had gone far enough away from all the commotion that I couldn’t hear a single voice coming from the AIM campus. REFRESHING!!!!!! As I was walking to my rock, I accidentally walked through FIVE spider webs (ya i know this doesnt make a lot of sense but keep reading plz). At first I thought ‘okay wow this is gross’. Then I took the time to stop and realize the intricate detail of each spider web. How is it even possible that this little spider can spin a web???? Like Jesus intentionally made that spider and each spider makes a web that is unique. Papa put SUCH details into the making of SPIDERS. His intentionality is so visible with those little spiders. And they are spiders. Think about how intentional he is with all of us. He pours his heart into our making, and he WANTS TO KNOW US. He wants to be our friend.
My thoughts are allllllllll over the board right now but I have it all boiled down to 3 take aways from training camp.
1. Jesus wants us to be uncomfortable, when we are uncomfortable our faith has SO much room to grow. Admist the uncomfortable feelings is so much oppurtunity to love others as Jesus loves them.
2. He really just wants to be our friend, our Papa.
3. Its still good and still refreshing to praise Him through everything, even when you can’t understand. (the fruit is coming !!!!)
I was going to end my blog there, and not talk about the week I spent in Florida (a trip called caravan) with my youth group because it ‘doesn’t really pertain’ to the race. (lolz) I was wrong again!!!!!!! I jumped in a van less than 24 hours from being home from training camp to go to Florida. Weird how I flew home from Georgia and started driving to Florida the next day. At first, my plan was to just stay in Georgia and find a way to meet my youth group in Pensacola. It just so happened that the flights worked out that I could come home, so my dad convinced me to do it even though I didn’t really want to. BUT….little did I know when I was booking flights that my best friend would be at mayo clinic due to a jet ski accident that happened the day before training camp. I was able to make time to go see her in the less than 24 hour period I was home. If I wouldn’t have flown home, I wouldn’t have had that time with ELLIE (my strong, sweet, amazing, real, pretty, goofy best friend). God’s perfect timing !!!!!!!!
We talked about timing and waiting on God in Florida. We even ventured into talking about how to see the beauty when you are disappointed. W a i t i n g. I’ve been waiting and anticipating this race for months now, and to say I have no built up any anixety about it is false! I am scared to launch for the race, in all honesty. I’m paitently anticipating the race, and I really have no idea what it is going to look like. His light has already shown through some of my anxious feelings. Calmed the nerves. All abandoment, leaning fully into God for the first time. It’s scary, but His timing is perfect.
I came to that realization while we were in Florida.
I also am so thankful that we had small group time in Florida. I didn’t know my leaders very well going into it and I had never been in a small group with any of the other kids. Though, I was able to verbally process some things from training camp that I would not have been able to otherwise do if I wasn’t there. I listened to some of the other girls pour their hearts out, and be REAL about where they were at with God. (cool moments!!!)
I tried to cherish every moment in Florida with my friends. I hold tightly to the moments in which we laughed and the ones in which we cried. Even the moments we thought we were going to vomit from motion sickness in the back of the van on the 18 hour ride home. These moments God so kindly gave me. I leave that trip with a full heart, feeling so (I mean it when I say it) BLESSED to grow up with the youth group I did. These people that have done nothing but pour into us since 7th grade (middle school!!! gross!!!!). I really would not have the foundation I do without these people and man am I gonna miss it. I really have no words to explain how grateful I am for all the leaders and friends I have met along the way.
So three big take aways from Florida:
1 It’s okay to wait on God. It’s okay if you don’t always feel or see Him. He’s there.
2. His timing is perfect.
3. Be thankful for how God got you to where you are at. It’s a journey only you encounter and it’s really good.
OKAY wow. That’s all for now. Thanks if you read the whole thing. All my love, Kat. <3
