I have tried writing an intro to this blog all week, but have never been able to find a place to start. There is SO MUCH that happened over the 11 days at training camp!! Eyes opened, new feelings, new friends, new uncomfortable situations, etc. SO. MUCH.
(More pictures at the end of the blog!)
So where do I begin?? How about the beginning!
BEFORE
Before training camp, I was lowkey a hot mess. I spent the day before shopping for last minute things I needed (very thankful I got Febreeze to go at the last second), trying to stuff everything in my pack, and just freaking out over the fact that training camp was actually happening. After counting down for 7 months, even as training camp got closer it felt like it would never actually happen. So when it began to feel real, I started to freak out a little bit. There were too many emotions going on in my head; excitement and fear being the biggest and most prevalent ones. I was excited for this new chapter of my life to really begin and feel real, but I was terrified that God would make it clear that He didn’t want me to spend the next year on the World Race. Even though I knew my Father had been pushing me into missions for a while, doubt kept running through my head. On my way to the airport, God put me at ease. I felt such a powerful wave of peace come over me and I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and thought “Okay, God. You’ve got this.”
DURING
No matter how many videos you watch, blogs you read, or alumni you talk to, training camp breaks every expectation you have. At least that’s how it was for me. No video or blog could prepare me for what those 11 days held. Yes, it helped SO much for packing, but I never would’ve imagined how much I would be pushed emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Training camp was pretty much 10 days of sessions, team building, and worship from 7:30am until 9pm every day. Here’s a quick overview of an average day at training camp:
5:30am :: wake up in your tent and pack all of your belongings into your 60L backpack
6am :: go to the bucket showers to avoid the line of 200 girls later on in the day
7:30am :: team devotions
8:15am :: breakfast
8:30am-12pm :: training sessions and worship
12pm :: lunch
12:30-4pm :: more training sessions and squad time
4pm :: personal time
5:30pm :: dinner
6:30-9pm :: worship, sermon, and team debrief
11pm :: everyone in tents (quiet time)
So at home, I am self-employed. What does this have to do with anything? Because I am self-employed, I control my own schedule and usually don’t start work until later on in the day; so my summer has been really relaxed and laid-back. Training camp was the complete opposite. They didn’t tell us our schedule so we could get used to not always having a set schedule for the week/month (so we all felt a little clueless the first few days).
We were doing stuff non-stop from the time we woke up until the time debrief was done at night. I usually have a hard time going non-stop all day, but everything we were doing was focused on training us to be on the mission field and strengthening our relationship with our Father. And I absolutely loved it.
There was one night that God really opened my eyes and heart. In the middle of worship during the second night, Evan, one of the worship leaders, was talking about feeling stuck; he asked those who felt stuck to raise their hands so people could pray for them. I started bawling. Not because I felt stuck, but because I realized that this is the first time in years that I haven’t felt stuck; that I’ve known where God wants me to be. During my two years in college, I felt so stuck and kept searching for freedom on my own. I was finally able to give my life over to God and trust Him with my future, and He led me to something completely out of my comfort zone and something that I definitely would not have been able to do on my own. So in the midst of me bawling because of the insane amount of JOY that rushed over me, I started praying for the people around me with their hands up. My hand was not up, but someone came over to me, placed their hand on my shoulder, and prayed for me. They thanked God for the joy in my heart and everything He has blessed me with to get me here.
And, well, that just made me cry even more (I’m not that emotional of a person so that much crying doesn’t happen that often!!). I didn’t tell anyone about the joy I was experiencing, but this random person felt called to go over and pray for me.
HOW COOL IS GOD?? How cool is it that He can speak to people like that?!
That night opened my heart and my eyes so much for the next week.
Here are a few things that were talked about and things that I grew in at training camp:
Vulnerability
People at training camp were so extremely open and vulnerable. I can’t count the number of conversations I had with people about faith, testimonies, things that we’ve struggled with and things we still struggle with or doubt.
“No shame, no fear, no bitterness. Share your story.” -Lindsay Sullivan
Abandon
Fun fact, I was actually baptized at training camp! I was able to publicly give my life to Him. I promised God I would abandon everything I have and everything I am and surrender to Him. To give Him all the sin and all the darkness in my past and be able to move forward with Him. A new life. God has opened my heart so much these past few months and especially these past two weeks, and if this is just a glimpse of what a life filled with Him is like, I never want to live another way. Trusting God to break me in ways I’ve never been broken before to experience His love and faithfulness in ways I’d never even imagine. All I could think about coming out of that water was how excited I am to make such a huge commitment to follow Him. He’s shown me time and time again that He isfaithful, His grace is sufficient, and that my life is not my own.
“Deny yourself; stop loving the world. Discipline yourself; when you fall in love with Jesus, those other things fall away. Walk in obedience; love one another. Walk in the light.” -Deon Vanstaden
There is so much more that happened and so much more that I learned during training camp, but my blog would be a full-length college essay if I included everything. If you would like to hear more about how God worked in my life at training camp, feel free to leave a comment or get ahold of me! I’d love to get together or get in contact before I leave for Costa Rica!!
AFTER
Somehow training camp felt like 2 months but also 2 days. The days were long and tiring while we were there, but there was so much packed into those 11 days that it also went by so fast. And now I’m trying to process everything that actually happened. Did my team and I actually walk 2.2 miles with our packs on in 28 minutes?? Did I actually eat a cricket for breakfast one day?? Did I really take bucket showers for 2 weeks?? Did I really meet some of the most amazing, God-fearing people I’ve ever met?? Or was it all just a dream?
I learned so much during training camp, and I’ve still been learning and growing as I’ve been processing all that happened the past 2 weeks. All I can say is that God is so good.
^^(team salt & light!)^^
^^ Q Squad! ^^
